The Thorns of My Memories
by Anchors
Summary: Fire and ice have always been enemies, always teetering on the brink of destroying or being destroyed by the other. If you’ve ever wondered which of the two is stronger I can tell you the answer now, its ice." Bella's story after Edward didn't come back.
1. Analogy

**Hey everyone this is my first fanfiction and I hope you like it. Sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes. I checked it over but I'm just a human.**

**A little info on the story: This will all be from Bella's Point of view unless it says otherwise. I don't have any plans on using any other Points of view but that may change if I feel that it's best for the story. A few facts to know about it are...**

**1. I wrote it as if Edward never came back in New moon.**

**2. Jacob and her weren't romantic. Of course he tried but her heart belongs to one person (or Vamp I guess) and Jacob is just her really good friend.**

**3. Bella never really got out of her depressed state after Edward left. Her depression shrunk down a tiny bit, she got better at hiding it and uses every oppritunity to distract herself from the pain but it is still very prominent.**

Ok I didn't start out the story with this but I came back to add a play list at the top of each chapter. Some of the songs might not go perfectly but have a few lines that really hit home.

**Playlist: Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden and Silhouette by Thrice**

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_Ok, Bella, just remember Charlie. Just think about him if it gets hard. Ok? Breathe. Oh, no wait! Don't breathe; bad idea. Ok Just relax, don't breathe, but relax. Everything will be ok; you've been around groups of people before and school should be no different. You aren't going to hurt anyone, you are in control. Don't worry about it; don't even think about their blood. Yes, that's it just forget about the warm, delicious blood pumping through their veins. Ugh, what the hell! You're thinking too much Bella just, uh… I don't know. Just stop!_

"Bella, are you ok?" I heard her ask as we made our way through the bustling hallway and into our first class but I made no attempt to halt my thoughts.

_It's just school, Bella. You have to go to school. The Culle… I mean, __**they**__ could do it why can't you. It's not all day either you just have one class then you have a couple hours before your next class. Surely you can deal with 2 hours in a classroom alone…right?_

I felt a sharp jab into my palm and I snapped out of my spiraling thoughts. I looked down to notice a metal pen lying on the desk that had been bent and broken after being rammed into my hand.

"You know if I where human that would have hurt and if we weren't fifteen minutes early a human would have seen that and been suspicious." I hissed at her.

"Well we are early for a reason and I didn't know how to bring you back to reality. Now you owe me a pen." She said as she childishly stuck her tongue out at me.

"HA! You expect me to replace your pen after you so stupidly tried to stab in into the granite hard hand of a vampire?"

"Hey, I didn't know what to do. It's your fault you let your mind wander off and it worked didn't it? Here you are speaking out loud instead of wandering off down the never-ending trail of your thoughts. Class is going to start in a few minutes and you where sitting there looking very rock solid and inhuman."

"Yeah, I guess" I mumbled while reaching into my bag and pulling out a pen to give her.

"Thanks" she said while grabbing the pen and scribbling a few practice-doodles on her paper to make sure it worked. After she was convinced it still held a suitable amount of ink she spoke again. "So, what were you thinking about?" I turned my head in her direction and saw that her eyes were filled with the worry that her face was trying to mask.

Great, here we go. I didn't need a mirror to tell me what me newly acquired little sister was so worried about. I had been off in one of the dazes that have frequented me over the last two years. Most of which were due to _him _and the way his eyes where seared into my mind, but today's cause was a combination of things.

For starters I was mere minutes away from my first class since becoming a vampire at the Portland State University. I have been around people since my change and never had an incident. Most vampires I ran into couldn't tell I was a newborn and when they found out they were astonished by my self control. I was extremely happy that I hadn't hurt anyone so far but this would be the ultimate test. College isn't an easy thing to go through in the first place. Then you add on the fact that you have to fight your instincts from drinking the blood of your peers as well as the paralyzing memories of your vampire ex-boyfriend whom you have never gotten over and you have a real challenge.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it" I said to her though I knew it definitely was _something_.

"Don't give me that, Bella. We don't have to do this you know? It's hard for me to control my thirst but you have that as well as other, uh…_things_, on your mind. I know why you want to do it, I get that but it can wait. I'm worried about you."

She was right, I didn't have to go to school now and I most certainly didn't have to go so close to home, so close to the roots of those damn memories, but I did it mostly for Charlie. Though I was now immortal and would never change I could still be around him without him knowing for at least the next few years. I wanted to give him as much time with me as possible, I owed him that much. School was also a very good distraction from the always present and paralyzing thoughts of my past. I knew that I would like majoring in English even though I was sure the times when we studied the many romance novels that plagued the course outline we had received would be thorny. I only described the memories of my past to people in one way. They were like wild rose that was still uncut from the bush; beautiful, vivid and with some unspoken charisma that elicits a feeling of belonging. Yes, these memories where a rosebush and it was planted in my path so that I could not ignore its beauty. It drew me in and once I was surrounded by its sweet essence I was instantly drawn in, the inevitable happened and I was caught by a thorn. Only the thorns on this bush where sharper than anything imaginable and cut deep, piercing wounds into every fiber of my being. The wounds never heeled completely, I was always in pain. There was just manageable pain that would still allow me to interact and go on with my existence and paralyzing pain that gripped me so tight it cut off all other feelings. I would go through this for eternity just to be able to see him again but he doesn't want me. Everytime I close my eyes the image of his topaz orbs consumes me like they never want me to forget that I love him and he doesn't want me. This is why I'm so glad I have Aislinn, she brings me back from my self inflicted coma.

"It's alright, nothing I haven't gone through before and you know that. It's just that being so close to home makes it a little more difficult to ignore. Don't worry about me I'll be fine." I forced a small smile on my face with hopes that she would buy it.

"Swear?" She said as she looked at me unconvinced.

"I swear on my life." I said jokingly, hoping to lighten up the mood.

"Yeah, that's nice and all except for the fact that we happen to be dead technically. Bella…"

I stopped her before she could finish. "I'm fine, really. It's the first day; I should be allowed a mistake or two, right? Now let's drop it the class is almost full and the professor is almost here."

She just rolled her eyes and laughed at me. I could never do this without her. My sister is the rock of my new existence that kept me going this past year and for that I was eternally grateful.


	2. Faith, or lack thereof

**Any advice, praise or even flames are greatly appreciated.**

**Playlist:** **_Angels on the Moon_ by Thriving Ivory and _Save Me_ by Unwritten Law**

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The cold, fresh air outside was like a godsend after spending two hours in our first class. We had hunted only hours before but the fire in our throats held a strong presence. I looked over at my sister and saw that she was staring into the sky, as she often did. The sky was a blend of dark and light gray swirls, eerily beautiful, kind of like us. Clouds where once ranked high on my list of unpleasant things but that all changed when I left Arizona and moved to forks, they had meant that I was free to see _him_. Now that I was immortal the clouds where and even bigger source of freedom. They where a security blanket of sorts, when they where around I was protected. With them I had the freedom to roam around as if I was normal, as if I was human.

I turned and watched Aislinn for a moment before speaking. "Well what do you want to do? We have 3 hours until our next class. Do you need to hunt?"

She looked over to me and said "No, I don't think I do. Do you?"

"Nope, my throat burned a little but it was very manageable and I'm sure it'll be easier next class. I'm actually still full from this morning."

She looked back up at the sky as she spoke now "Do you think you could go with me to church? You don't have to do anything; you could wait outside or something."

Ah, I get it now. Aislinn had always been religious when she was human, a devout Catholic. Now she spent most of her time wondering about her beliefs and looking into the sky. Sometimes I felt like she was searching the sky for answers, like if there was a God she should be able to see it now with her enhanced vision. The closest I ever became to being religious was saying "thank God" after I managed so trip and not end up in the hospital. Now because of my Irish sister I found the topic running through my mind more frequently. Was there a place that you go when you die? If there is, can immortals go there as well? I'm not sure I ever wanted to figure out the answer.

"Sure, I'll go with you but I'm not sure I want to participate." I finally told her after a few minutes of being absorbed by my thoughts.

"I just want to go say a prayer for my family."

"Don't mention anything about me in that prayer. If there is a God I don't know if it wants our kind around and will be dammed, excuse the pun, if I'm going to be the one to piss him off."

"What do you mean?"The look on her face was a mix between curiosity, hurt and understanding.

"Well God created people according to those that believe in it, right? Well vampires feast on people, or at least they are supposed to. I find it hard to believe that God would appreciate vampires, who kill what he has created, asking him for favors and safety. Now that I said that I'm not even sure if it makes sense."

It took a minute for her to respond. I could almost see my words sinking into her. "Oh. Well the way I see it is that we still are people. I mean we still have our conscience, mind and soul. That has to count for something."

I wish that I could be as sure as her.

"Because of Jesus our sins are supposed to be forgiven. What have we done wrong though? We have fought against our instincts to keep from killing humans and it isn't like we chose this life. It was forced upon us and we have done everything in our power to make sure that we don't turn into the monsters we are supposed to be. I think God would look at you and me and be happy. We've chosen to keep the parts of us that he created."

"What about me though. You know that I had chosen this fate, I wanted it ever since I knew what Edward was." Speaking his name out loud hurt more than I thought it would. "Sure, after he left I didn't want it anymore." _What would be the point of existing forever if it would only mean that I would spend eternity in misery? _I thought but didn't say out loud. I didn't need her worrying more than she needed to. "When Tallis changed us I didn't want to be immortal, I would rather have had him kill me but I wanted it at one point and isn't that as bad as it would be to ask him to change me?"

She looked at me like she was deeply concerned but at the same time thought I was an idiot.

"Bella…" When she was concerned her soft Irish accent was more noticeable. "Just because you wanted it once doesn't mean that if it happens it is your fault or that you are going to be held responsible for it. Even if you had asked him or anyone else to do it you would still be good. No God could deny the goodness in your soul, Bella. I know that the world has been cruel to you, and that your faith in almost everything has suffered because of it, but if you are going to believe anything I ever say make it that. You are good Bella and souls like yours won't be thrown away into the depths of Hell. I'm aware that you don't know if there is a Heaven and Hell but I just remember that if there is you will be going to Heaven. You don't see yourself clearly Bella."

"I don't even know what to say to that." I admitted. Aislinn was indeed a saint, sent from some kind of Heaven to make my life better in every way but one. She thought so highly of me and I never understood why.

She took my hand and led me away toward the huge stone building I had never imagined going in. She paused at the entrance, gave me an encouraging look and led me in to the near empty cathedral. I felt like I was trespassing, like this beautiful and grand stone building was something forbidden to me. Not because I wasn't a believer but because of what I _was_. Everything I saw was intimidating, the high ceilings, the huge stone columns and the intricate statues. Worst of all was the stained glass windows; they scared me like nothing else could. They were so beautiful they looked almost real and I could have sworn that they knew what I was. I walked over next to where a few rays of sunshine were being filtered through the vibrant colors of a window depicting the Virgin Mary holding Jesus. I was captivated by it and slowly lifted my hand toward the rays so that the deep blue of her dress was shining upon my hand. The way that the color laid it's self on my skin combined with the diamond like gleams that where the tell-tale signs of my kind was like nothing that I had ever seen. It was certainly nothing that could be replicated.

Fear washed over me and the sense that I should not be here got stronger. I quickly pulled my hand out of the sun, turned around and walked at a very brisk human pace out of the building, ran back to the parking lot of the school, got in my car and drove home. When I turned onto our driveway and saw the glimpses of my beautiful white house through the trees I was instantly calm; this was my sanctuary and nothing could harm me here. As I made my way into the house the full force of what I had done finally hit me. My completely stupid stunt of sticking my hand in direct sunlight had lasted less than a second and I was sure none of the few humans that were in the monstrous cathedral had seen it but what about Aislinn? I was almost sure that she saw it. I hope she didn't worry. I grabbed my phone and sent her a message.

_Sorry. I'm fine and at home. I'll meet you at class and explain later. Don't worry._

_-Love B_

I put my head phones in, turned on my iPod, and drowned my thoughts with music. I laid on my bed and pulled the dark gray covers over my head. I wasn't physically tired, I could never be that, but I was emotionally drained. The day wasn't even half over but it seemed like a week had passed to me. Maybe going to school was a mistake? No, I wanted to go to school but maybe it was just too soon? I've only been a vampire a little over a year; maybe I wasn't ready after all. I had to do this for Charlie though. I don't want his life to be affected by what happened to me, I want him to have as many memories of me as he can before I have to leave him forever.

Eventually I snapped out of my thoughts and realized I had 20 minutes before class started. It was times like these when I was grateful that my truck had finally died a few months ago. I could have never driven anything else as long as that old thing still moved. Once it died I finally decided to indulge a little and I bought myself 2 cars. I guess being a vampire had changed me in more ways than one. I bought a black Lamborghini Murcielago that I rarely drove. It brought too much attention and I only used it when I was going where nobody knew me. My everyday car was an Black Audi A6 that I loved. I hopped in it and took off toward school. I got there with a few minutes to spare and made my way to my second class.

Aislinn was there waiting and had a worried as well as pissed off expression.

"I'm sorry but I'm ok now, I promise." I said to her as I held out my hand.

She touched it for a second then looked back at me with a curious look on her face and then spoke. "Sometimes I wish I could do more than just see what you've seen. It would be nice to know what you where thinking along with those images and experiences."

"You know me well enough to be able to guess what I was thinking and feeling. Even if your powers made you able to know those aspects of a person's memory you still wouldn't be able to do that with me."

She just sighed and we made our way to the back of the class and took our seats. Hopefully the rest of the day would be uneventful; I've had enough stress today to last me a lifetime.

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**Sorry this chapter came out really religious. I'm not really religious at all so I was surprised that it went in this direction but I only have a loose outline for this story. I know what the major events are in my head but I just let each chapter kind of come out however it wants to. Religion won't be a big theme in the whole story but it is a big part of what Aislinn is so I suppose it is somewhat important. Feel free to ask me any questions.**


	3. Changes

**Ok so a few people have told me that they don't understand or are confused by some things. I've purposefully left a few things a mystery for now. At the end of this chapter I will summarize everything so far and try to clear a few things up. If you have an extra questions, comments or concerns don't be afraid to let me know. I promise I will get back to you.**

**Playlist: _Dirty Little Secret_ by Strung Out (no not the song by All American Rejects, yuck! this is a way better and different song) and _When I'm gone_ by Three Doors Down (think of it in an Bella and Charlie way not a Bella and Edward way)**

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The first two weeks of classes where luckily not as bad as the first day had been. My creative writing teacher, Mr. Weidman (pronounced wide-man and yes, his name matched his appearance) turned out to be very interesting. He was a former theater actor turned English professor. Our first big assignment was a short story. He said I lacked imagination and my story contained no magic. I could only laugh at the fact that he thought my story was too normal. I wonder what he would say if I wrote about my own life. My guess is that he would either have a heart attack or recommend I get mental help.

Just as I was imagining Weidman's reactions to my life story my phone started ringing. I played around with the idea of not answering it; I was not looking forward to hearing from anyone for the next 36 hours. Today was Friday, September 12th, the day before my birthday. It no longer held the meaning that it once did. I would never be older, I will be forever eighteen. It did, however, have a very important meaning to Charlie. To him I was a year older and he no longer was the father of a teenager. Yay, the big 2-0, not. September 13th would always remind me of when _he_ left. He didn't leave me on my birthday but it was when he started to act differently. I now am aware that he acted this way because he no longer cared for me. As if I needed one more reason to hate my birthday.

I picked up the phone and saw that Aislinn was calling. _What a relief, hopefully Charlie forgot about it and wouldn't pester me about a get-together._

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, I'm on my way home from art class. You're going to be home when I get back, right?" I was confused because she said this almost accusingly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Bella I know you better than anyone and because of that I know how you are dreading tomorrow. Charlie hasn't seen you for over a year. I know you talk to him a lot but you know he wants to see you. Your birthday may not be important to you but it is to him. Besides, I want to meet him. You know I already feel close to him."

"Hey it's not my fault that you have the ability to see my memories as if they are your own. I know you want to meet him but at the same time you know how hard tomorrow will be for me. Plus Jake will want to know everything. What do you have planned anyway? I know you and Charlie have been talking about it. "

She sighed in frustration before continuing, "Nothing is planned. Charlie is still fully aware of how sensitive you are to this time of year and well, everything else. He just wants to see you so I told him we would spend the weekend there. It will be minimal, no party, just you and Charlie catching up for lost time and me meeting my new 'dad'. He said that Jake calls and asks about you a couple times a week but that it is up to you to have him there or not. I'll be home in a few minutes we can talk about it then if you want."

"No, it's ok. As long as it's just us three catching up and no party I think I can handle it. I'm sorry I've kept you from him for so long it's just, well you know..."My throat was starting to close up and the memories where on the verge of spilling past the dams that I'd built to keep them back. Once they seeped out they drowned me in misery and I was unable to do anything but curl up in a ball and do my own pathetic vampire version of crying. If the thought of going back to Forks put me on the brink of depression how would I handle actually being there?

"I know, dear. Don't worry about it I will have plenty of time to get to know Charlie. Your happiness is most important and I know you haven't been ready. I think you are now though and I know you will regret it when Charlie is gone if you don't spend as much time with him as possible. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Bella. You're my big sister and my only family; I won't let anything hurt you." She spoke with a lot of empathy but I could tell her last sentence was laced with fury. She hated _him_ more than anyone could. Her gift allowed her to experience the memories of him leaving as though she was me, but with her own unique emotions in place of mine. It hurt her too but she had never loved him so she grew to hate him for what put me through or I guess put _us_ through. I loved him so much that I could never be mad at him. It was an entirely different case for her.

"What in the world would I do without you my little Aislinn? You say I'm your rock but you don't know how many times you've saved me from myself. "

"Ok let's not get too lovey-dovey now," She giggled. "I've saved you from yourself but you've saved me in different ways. I'll be there soon; do you need me to pick you up anything? Do you want some contacts?"

"No, no way. My eyes may freak Charlie out a little but at least they aren't red. I'll see you when you get here. I love you."

"I love you too, bye."

I jumped off of the couch I had been sitting on and made my way up to my room to pack. I opened my closet and stared into it blankly, I wasn't quite sure what to bring. After a few minutes of internally debating with myself I heard the soft purr of my Audi coming down the driveway. Aislinn made her way up to me and laughed when she saw my hopeless expression. She touched her hand to me and nodded in understanding.

"I wasn't exactly sure what I should bring either." She admitted. "I think you should dress like you did when you lived with Charlie. You know the whole comfortably cute thing."

I reached into my closet grabbed a few shirts, my Portland State University sweatshirt, a few pairs of jeans and threw them into my bag.

"You should bring the pictures of Ireland. I mean you where gone for over a year he probably wants to see what you where up to or at least what he thinks you where up to."

"Yeah good idea." I walked over to the desk beside my window, grabbed the photo album we had put together for this exact purpose and put it in my bag. "Ok, I'm all packed. I hope this weekend is as pain free as possible."

She came over and embraced me in a tight hug. "It will be, Bella. I promise you it will be. You deserve to be happy. So I was thinking, let's go hunting and then watch a movie to pass the time."

"Sure, what do you want to watch?"

"Well a girl in my art class said I looked like someone named Nicole Kidman and she's in a movie about an Irish girl called 'Far and Away' so I was kind of curious about it. Do we have that one?"

"It's kind of romantic, but sure we can watch it. I have it around here somewhere; it used to be one of my favorites. You don't really look like her though. Humans usually say that all redheads look alike but your hair is more auburn than just red and your features are more like Kate Beckinsale but in a five foot three inch version. "

"Oh, let's watch something else then, I didn't realize it was romantic. We can watch something else."

"No, I really like that movie and I'll be fine. I've got to learn to not be so fragile." I was assuring her that I would be alright but I couldn't really convince myself.

We spent the next few hours hunting, both of us drank until we couldn't take another drop. This weekend was going to be hard enough and we didn't need our thirst making it any harder. After we hunted we got home and I put the movie on. Aislinn really enjoyed it but she almost cringed at what she deemed as their horrible accents. Her accent wasn't very strong but even I could tell the difference. She had timed everything perfectly. A few seconds into the ending credits the sun started to creep out and then was quickly hidden behind a blanket of clouds. There was no free time to sit around and let my thoughts consume me. We both went our own ways to get ready and met at the car within a few minutes. We put our bags in and I turned to get into the driver's seat but Aislinn stopped me. I looked at her and saw that her deep golden eyes were filled with worry.

"Bella, I don't want to make a big deal about this but I am concerned about you and I just wanted to make sure you know that everything will be fine."

"Yes, I'll be fine. I'll have Charlie and the best little sister anyone could have ever hoped for there to help me. If everything goes well maybe I'll call Jake and spend some time with him."

She smiled and I noticed the worry was gone from her eyes as she walked over to the passenger side of my car. _Good, at least someone believes I'll be ok even if I don't._ The drive up through Oregon and into Washington was going to take a few hours, even at our pace. Aislinn made sure that there was never any silence. She knew how easily my mind could wander off if I wasn't distracted. I refreshed her a little about Forks and Charlie; what he liked and didn't like to talk about and what to bring up to distract him from a touchy subject of ours.

"Bella, how are you going to tell Charlie how you came into money?"

"I'm just going to tell him the truth."

"WHAT! Are you insane Bella?" She shrieked at me.

"No, calm down. I'm not going to go up to Charlie and say 'hey Dad, just thought you should know that some anonymous person sent me stock market tips for the next 5 years along with a check for a quarter of a million dollars to invest in it, I thought it was a prank but it turns out it was legit and now I'm a millionaire.'"

"Ok well you said that you were going to tell him the truth?"

"Yeah but not all the details. I'm going to tell him that we learned a lot about the stock market in economics senior year and that before I left I invested part of my college fun into it and got lucky. So he'll know the partial truth but not all of it."

"Did you ever figure out who sent you the tips?"

"No. Whoever did was careful to cover their tracks."

She started whispering "Do you think it was…"

"No," I snapped and cut her off. "People who don't care don't do things like that Aislinn." I had to get control of myself fast before I bent the steering wheel. She quickly started talking about something else and I was once again calm and distracted from my thoughts.

The rest of the ride was quiet and before I knew it we had turned onto my old street and it brought back a flash of memories. I parked my car out front, took a few unnecessary but calming breaths and turned to look at Aislinn.

She was looking out the window with awe in her eyes. Apparently this place held almost as much emotion for her as it did for me. I cleared my throat and snapped out of her gaze. She turned and looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry. This place just feels like home to me too."

"No, its ok," I reassured her. "I know it's hard for you to have my memories along with yours. It's probably so confusing being somewhere for the first time yet remembering watching sports with Charlie and cooking in dinner in the kitchen." I made sure not to mention any of my favorite memories of this place._ He_ wouldn't be brought up this weekend. That was the one way to ruin this for Charlie and Aislinn and I couldn't do that to them, I couldn't make Charlie watch his empty shell of a daughter anymore. I had to be strong, for them.

She still looked a little sad but flashed me a warm smile. "At times, yes it's hard but knowing what you've been through saves me from prying questions out of you which I know you couldn't handle. Plus I'm sure it helps you to have someone who really understands it all."

"You have no idea how much it helps, little sis." I really was glad that if I couldn't have him in my life that I was at least luck enough to have a friend like her. I took a deep breath to calm myself before continuing. "Ok, enough stalling, let's go see Charlie. I wonder why he hasn't ran out here by now." That was strange now that I thought about it. Charlie would usually call me a couple times once I had arrived.

"Well when I talked to him yesterday I told him to be cautious at first, that being back was a hard thing for you to do and to give you a couple hours to adjust before letting out the emotions."

"You, Aislinn Cadence Kelly are a freaking saint!"

"I love you too, Bella."

We got our bags and made our way up to the house. I took in a deep breath and I could already smell the familiar scent of my home, but it was stronger now as everything else was to me. I could hear Charlie already on the other side of the door but when I realized he was trying to make it seem like he wasn't anxious I knocked on it lightly. He counted out to himself for five seconds then opened the door.

His look was one of happiness and then shock as he took in my appearance. He stuttered a few times before closing his eyes, taking a breath and starting over.

"Hey, Bells. Look at you. I'm, well… I'm just so glad to have you home."

I was so glad he was the same Charlie. He was really happy but trying to play down his emotions as always. I felt so guilty for all this time we've spent apart.

"Hey Dad, I've missed you so much._"_ I said to him while I pulled him into a hug. He shivered when he felt my cold skin. These things seemed so normal to me, I'd had over a year to adjust to them and it took a few moments for me to register just how big my changes would be to him.

I spun behind him so that he was now looking at Aislinn. "Dad, this is Aislinn. I believe you two have spoken."

Her face lit up like a child on Christmas morning. "It's so nice to finally meet you Da… I mean, Charlie." She squeaked. She was so excited I'm not exactly sure how she kept from jumping up and down.

He took a moment to look her over and glanced back at me, undoubtedly noting the similarities in our appearance and then gave her a hug.

"It's so nice to meet you too, kiddo. I'm glad Bella has a friend like you and I'm glad you were able to convince her to come up for a visit." Charlie looked so happy and if I didn't know better I'd say that he was about to tear up.

I told Aislinn to go put her things down in my room, that's where she would be "sleeping." I didn't want to go in there. She knew why but Charlie didn't. He thought I was just being polite.

We made our way into the living room and I took it upon myself to start the conversation. "So, Dad… how has everything been lately?"

"Well, Bells… everything has been pretty good. Billy and I went fishing last weekend. I told him that you might be coming up to visit. He said Jake would want to see you and I told him that I'd talk to you about it but that is was up to you. I don't really want to go into that or how I've been right now. I haven't seen you for a year, kiddo. I want to know all about this last year and a half. I've missed you so much."

"Yeah, Dad, I know. I don't really know where to start though."

"Well how about you start with after graduation, then what happened when you got to Ireland and end at right now."

"Ha-ha, ok Dad. I don't really want to go into after graduation right now so I'll start with Ireland. Well I got off the plane and it was eerily similar to Forks. The landscape is disturbingly green and the sky is covered with grey clouds. I didn't know then that the town I was headed to is the fourth cloudiest place on earth. Go figure, right? Well My original plan was to stay in the bed and breakfast in a small town called Maam, yeah like 'yes ma'am' but without the apostrophe, and then make my way to Dublin. So I got my rental car, drove to Maam, checked into the bed and breakfast and went out to explore some sites. Well on my second day I ran into this little one at a pub in town." Charlie started to frown when he heard that last little bit.

"Dad, don't frown I wasn't drinking. The pub there is also the only restaurant in town. Why I always end up in small, cloud covered towns I'm not sure but that's what happens. Anyways I ran into Aislinn and I mean literally ran into her and knocked her down, luckily neither of us had to go to the hospital."

Then Aislinn interrupted and began to tell the story. "So once I got up and found that all of my appendages where intact I looked at Bella and I knew she obviously wasn't from my town. So I asked a bit about her and we ended up talking all night and became good friends. I'd never met anyone from America, not many tourists bother going through my town."

Then I cut back into the story. "Well Dad you know how uh… _different_ I was before I left?" His eyes widened with fear of speaking about it so I just nodded in understanding and continued. " Well Aislinn kind of got me out of that for the most part. She quickly became my best friend and I decided to stick around with her for awhile instead of traveling around the rest of the country. Well in that time we both kind of had a…_transformation_ and only we knew what the other was going through. Needless to say we got really close, like sisters and when it came time for me to leave we didn't want to be apart. I knew I couldn't stay there because it would hurt you too much. So Aislinn decided to come here and go to school with me and well, here we are." As I explained in minimal detail to Charlie what happened while I was gone I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever be able to tell him the truth. Maybe on his death bed? No, I'd much rather his last thoughts of his daughter not be of her as a monster. I guess he'll never know.

"Well that sure is a good idea for a movie if I ever heard one."

"You have no idea, Dad." I replied while Aislinn looked at me with a smirk on her face, I couldn't help but laugh back.

"So, Bells… you say you've had a transformation? Is that why you're wearing the gray contacts? Your eyes are nice, I don't understand why…"

"Dad… um… well, they aren't contacts, actually. My eyes are gray now." He looked at me like I had just spoken some alien language.

"What do you mean your eyes are gray now? How could they go from deep brown to light gray?"

_Well Dad I'm not entirely sure but when I had finished my transformation into a vampire my eyes weren't the usual newborn-red. They where dark gray and got lighter every day. Then when I met the Volturi they said something about the Myth of the Martyr or something like that but I'm still not exactly sure why I'm the only vampire on earth with different eyes. _Ha, how nice it would be to be able to say that to Charlie.

"I don't really know, Dad" I said while looking at the floor, I felt too ashamed to look at him. "I'm not a doctor I can't explain it. One day I just kind of…_woke up_ and they were different. They started out darker and have been getting lighter ever since."

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**Ok here is a little summary of some important facts so far and some explanations to clear a few things up.**

**Bella is a vampire. She is going to PSU and living with another vampire named Aislinn (pronounced eyez-lin) whom she considers her sister. Bella has the same power that she had in Breaking Dawn and Aislinn can access a person or vamps memories as if she was there experiencing them too. She doesn't know what people where thinking or feeling during these memories so she interprets them in her own way. For instance she's touched Bella and she knows all of her memories. She doesn't have to keep contact with someone to keep their memories but in order for her to see any new ones she has to touch that person again. So she experienced Edward leaving Bella as if she was Bella, therefore she felt the pain of his words but not in the same way that Bella did. She wasn't in love with him so she was just angry at what he did and doesn't forgive him like Bella does. I hope this makes sense. I don't want anyone confused at her powers. She does have another power but that won't be revealed for a little while.**

**Aislinn is Irish and Bella met her while she was in Ireland. There will be more of an explanation as to why she went there and what really happened while she was there later. You learned in chapter 2 though that it was someone named Tallis that changed them both.**

**Bella made a lot of money in the stock market after receiving an anonymous letter with a few tips on it.**

**Bella has met the Volturi and she has gray eyes. They have never been red.**

**If you are wondering what other power Aislinn has, why Bella's eyes are gray, what happened when she met the Volturi or why she was changed just tune in. Everything will be answered!**

**The more reviews I get though the more I tend to want to update faster. Even one review really inspires me.**


	4. Waking up

**Hey everyone thanks for your encouragement and reviews. They really make me want to write a good story. Everyone should check out Bleached Kitty's story called _Missing Life_. It's good, definitely worth checking out.**

**Playlist: _My Immortal_ by Evanescence, _Remedy_ by Hot Water Music(lyrics from this song are in this chapter) and _My Curse_ by Killswitch Engage.**

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After a while Charlie had finally stopped asking me about my different appearance and moved on to how I liked school, my new house and car. He even managed to inadvertently ask me about my relationship status. I almost told him that I was dating just to give him some hope but the line of questions he'd have about that would be too much to handle. I didn't want my web of lies to get any bigger. I thought that visiting with Charlie and being in Forks would send me right back into my thought induced coma but it didn't. It hurt a lot to be there, the smallest glimpse of something that reminded me of _him_ would send thousands of tiny daggers into my heart. It was painful but at the same time I loved it. Call me a masochist if you want but the pain was a reminder that he was real, my memories of him were real. The one thing he could never take from me was the memories and if I couldn't have him anymore at least I had those.

Aislinn finally went to "bed" around nine to give Charlie and some alone time. She knew this would irritate me. With us alone he was more likely to bring up things that I didn't want to think about or, at least I didn't want to talk about them while I still had to act happy. Luck was on my side for once though and Charlie got up and started heading toward his room. He stopped before the stairs to turn around and look at me. It almost looked like he was reassuring himself that the creature sitting on his couch was indeed his daughter.

"Bells… I, uh…well, I'm really happy you're home. I've been worried about you since the minute you left and I'm just glad that you're doing better and you have some good people in your life."

Wow, Charlie is being somewhat emotional. My time away must have been harder on him than I thought. "Dad you don't have to worry about me. I'm glad to be home too and I'm glad you like Aislinn, she is your second daughter now, for your information, and we'll both be around a lot more."

"Well I'm glad to have you both home then. Night, Bells."

"Goodnight Dad."

After Charlie was snoring Aislinn came downstairs to check on me. I told her to go back up and that I was fine, I just need to be alone for a little while. I walked around my former home for the first time since my change, taking in every familiar yet different sight. I walked to the kitchen and ran my fingers across the counter tops, recalling all the time I spent in here taking care of Charlie in my own way. The memories that really matter started to creep up and one by one started sticking their thorns into my heart. I just let them come, I wanted to remember, I wanted to feel the intensity of his eyes and I didn't care how much it hurt.

After a few hours of being paralyzed in pain while I relived every beautiful memory I had of Edward Cullen I felt a hand on my shoulder shaking me, no doubt trying to get me to wake up from my coma. They were shaking me hard now so it couldn't be Charlie. My eyes were open but I couldn't see anything but beautiful topaz eyes looking back at me and I couldn't hear anything but the lullaby Edward had written for me. Even if I lived a hundred thousand years I would never get a gift like my lullaby. Whoever was trying to get me up was shaking me harder now but I couldn't budge from those eyes. I wonder how long they had been trying; I wonder how long it will take to get me to wake up? Then I smelt blood. _Blood? Oh my God is Charlie ok?_

I gained control from my memories and spun around to see Aislinn with a big grin on her face and blood on her finger. Now that I wasn't in a stupor I could tell that it was animal blood, not human. _Thank God, I think._

"Aislinn what the hell are you doing?" I started to scream but quickly lowered my voice to keep Charlie from waking.

"Do you have any idea how long you have been standing there calling out _his_ name? You were speaking like he was right there in front of you. What if Charlie cam down, Bella? I hit you so hard and you still wouldn't budge." She sounded angry but then she started to smile again. "So that's when I thought of the blood and what do you know, it worked. I'm a genius."

"Yeah you made me think that something happened to Charlie."

"Well I had to do something! Do you want to go home? I'm sure Charlie would understand?"

"No, I'm fine. I really think that I'm starting to get better…"

Now it was her turn to scream. "WHAT? Bella you've been standing there for 4 hours having conversations in your head with your ex boyfriend who isn't here! How the hell does that sound like someone who is better? Please, bless me with your superior intellect because obviously I'm just missing something."

"Ok, now you're sounding like me. Just stop and listen for a second. Actually, stop and _look_ at me for a second, I'm fine. Yes, I was thinking about Edward but you know maybe that is what it will take to get better. Maybe I have to stop running from my memories and just let the pain happen so I can get over it."

"Are you serious, Bella?" She was looking at me like she had no idea who I was.

"Look, I'm trying. I don't know if I'll ever get better but I am trying. I need to be stronger but it's something that I need to do on my own. If I'm standing like a statue in front of humans for hours then by all means wake me up but I think it's time everyone left the rest up to me." _Wow, standing up for myself feels good. _"I want to get better I do. There will always be a hole in my heart that only he can fill but I want to go through my days without being crippled because someone calls out the name Edward or seeing a silver Volvo makes my memories flood back. I'm tired of hurting because of him. I wish he would care and that he would be here but he isn't and I'm coming to terms with that. Even you have had to notice that I am nowhere near as apathetic as I used to be."

"You're right. I'm pushing you too much and I'm sorry. I just want to help. I think you are getting better. Very slowly… a snail's pace slowly, but any progress is good. Just know that I'm here for you Bella. Even if you just want to scream at the top of your lungs everything that makes you mad while I sit there and nod my head I will. I'll leave you be now but I'm upstairs if you need me. ." And with that she was back in my old room.

I went back to the living room, grabbed my iPod, turned it to Shuffle and went to look out the window. The cadence of the rain was so soothing and the moon light reflecting on the clouds was beautiful. I stared out the window until the sun started peaking out over the mountains; a new day, a fresh start. I wonder if I could ever get the opportunity to start over, to leave the past behind and focus on my future? Apparently my iPod has a sense of humor because the song that just came on was almost too perfect for my current situation.

'_I woke to the sound and the rhythm of rain  
dancing down on the window pane.  
Comatose. Eyes half closed.  
Arms wrapped up with the wounds all sewn.  
I froze from head to toe.  
Clenched the jaw,  
then felt my body roll over slow._

I must live to know that healing takes some time.

So no regrets, and no looking back to sinking ships.  
I'll strip the gauze for a rational self-analysis.  
"I'm down. Cut and bound.  
Counting scars, and counting blessings loud."  
So loud.

I must live to know that time alone is always  
healing as long as there's bleeding.  
No regrets, or falling fits.  
I'll strip the gauze and bleed it.'

I wonder what I did so wrong in my past life that I was being punished even by my iPod. I must have gone around punching babies and pushing down elderly people. So is this ridiculousness a _sign_? Maybe what I said earlier was right, I just need to let my wounds bleed and eventually they will start to heal up. Should I just try to move on? Can I? Yes, yes I can do this. Edward Cullen will always carry around with him a piece of my heart but he won't ruin my life anymore. I had a life before him I can have one now._ Oh, wait, life isn't the right word. Crap._

Honestly I'm so sick and tired of this shit. How can he haunt me even in my vampire existence? My human memories aren't supposed to be this strong. It was all probably a game to him. Alice probably saw what would happen in a vision but he kept playing with my heart anyway. _Oh my God. Oh my fucking God, that asshole. She had to have seen it. There is no way that she wouldn't have, which means he knew, he fucking knew_. This gives a whole new meaning to 'playing with your food'. _Sick, sick fucking piece of shit vampire._

For the first time in my life I feel complete hatred. Is it possible to love and hate so strongly at the same time?

"Bella, you're breaking the window sill. What's wrong with you now? What happened?" Aislinn spoke as she made her way down stairs and over to me, unlocking my death grip from the window sill one finger at a time.

A wave of calm hit me and I unclenched my hand. Suddenly I realized that nothing was wrong with _me._

"Actually, nothing is wrong." I said to her with a genuine smile. The look on her face was priceless. I'm sure she was a few seconds away from searching the phone book to for a vampire psych ward.

"Don't give me that look," I continued. "I think, no, wait… I _know_ that I'm fine now. I realized that none of this was my fault, it's theirs. I didn't do anything wrong and they just decided to torture me for the fun of it. They may not kill humans but that's just for their own conscious. They do other things that are just as bad. I'm fine now. There is a level of anger in me that I never knew could exist and if they were here right now I would probably rip their throats out but I'm fine. I think it's time I called Jake."

Aislinn stood there with her mouth hanging open for a moment before she collected herself and began to talk. "Wow, Bella. I…I… well; I don't even know what to say right now. I'm glad you are finally okay. I think calling Jake is a good idea. You two should catch up." She kept shaking her head like she was trying to wake herself up from a dream. "I never thought I would see the day when you were _angry_ with them like you should be. I can't even tell you how glad I am that you aren't blaming it on yourself anymore." She ran over to me and squeezed me in the tightest hug ever.

"Yeah I think I like this whole anger thing a lot more than being sad. I'm still sad of course. I mean I was rejected but I'm making a vow to myself that I will never be that miserable being again. No one will ever be able to affect me like that, never." She and I exchanged triumphant smiles. I went to get my phone and call Jake while she went back upstairs to give me some privacy.

_Shit, Jake. _This was going to be hard. He doesn't know that I'm changed. Suddenly my anger and courage were not as prevalent and in their place was fear. How would he react to me being different? Would he ever talk to me again? Would he try to fight me? No it's Jake and we promised that we would be friends no matter what. _What the hell are you thinking, Bella? You think that Jake will care about the promises you made to each other? He turns into a wolf so that he can kill creatures like you. He is your sworn enemy. How stupid can you be?_ Damn, he will hate me, I know he will. _No, Jake is your friend; he will always care about you…_

I flipped my phone open and dialed his number before I could convince myself that this was a bad idea. I had to do this. Jake has to know what I am and I need to know if he cares enough to remain my friend. The phone rang twice and it felt like it had been ringing for centuries. _Come on Jake, pick up the phone. _I glanced over to the clock and started to feel like an idiot. _Oh, it's six a.m. He's probably still asleep. Smart, Bella, don't even check the clock before you call someone to see if it is a decent time to call._ The phone rang again and when I was about to give up I heard someone pick up on the other end.

There was a big groan and yawn on the other end. The voice was thick with sleep and frustration, it sounded like Jake but I wasn't sure. "It's six in the damn morning. Someone better be dead. What do you want?" Yeah, it's definitely Jake.

_Well I am dead, technically, I wonder if that counts._ I mustered up all the courage I could find to speak. "H-hey, Jake…" I managed to stutter.

"Bella?" His voice no longer showed any signs of anger. He was pleasantly surprised; I wonder how long that will last.

"Yeah Jake, it's me. Look, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. Everything is just so different and it's been hard to come back. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out for a little while and catch up before I go back down to Portland."

"Are you kidding, Bella? Of course I want to see you. I've been trying to get a hold of you for so long. You have no idea how worried I was. What the hell where you doing? Why haven't you called or stopped by? You sound different, are you ok?"

He was speaking so fast like he had a long list of things to talk about. I almost let him continue because him talking to me was a good thing and I didn't know how much longer he would be willing to do that.

"I know you have a lot of questions. I'll explain everything to you I swear. You'll probably have a lot more questions once you see me, too. What time are you free?"

"I'm free all day. Nothing is more important that seeing you. Can I come up right now?"

"No!" I blurted out before thinking about it. "I'm sorry, no. I don't want to talk about some stuff here. You know with Charlie around and all."

"Sure, yeah where do you want to meet? You want to come down here? Billy will be glad to see you and so will the guys."

I wish that I could go down there and that anyone would be glad to see me. "No I just need to speak to you alone. Do you remember the meadow where Laurent was going to kill me?" _Oh and were I spent one of the most amazing times of my life with Edward before he decided to rip my heart to shreds. No, Bella stop don't let him hurt you anymore._

The anger was back in his voice now. "Yeah I remember where that filthy bloodsu…"

I cut him off before he managed to make me change my mind about seeing him. "Ok well meet me there in half an hour. OK?"

"Ok, Bells. See you then." He sounded so happy; it made me want to crawl into a hole and die, again.

"Jake, can you promise me something?"

"Yeah, sure anything. What is it?"

"We're friends forever, no matter what, right?"

"Always, Bells, no matter what. I'll see you soon."

I hung up right as Charlie was coming down stairs.

"Hey, Bells. You're up early."

"Yeah. I called Jake; I want to catch up with him a little before we leave."

"Well that's great. I'm glad you're going to see him, he's been calling at least once a week since you left, you know."

"Yeah Dad I know. "

Then Aislinn came downstairs and saved me from any more Charlie questions. "So Charlie it's just you and me while Bella is out with Jake, what are we going to do?"

"Well we could go down to La Push if you want. There isn't much to see in Forks."

"No, Dad," I yelled, "sorry, but I doubt Aislinn wants to sit around and fish with Billy. Why don't you take her to Port Angeles? I'm sure she would love it there."

Aislinn quickly figured out what I was doing and played along. "Oh, can we go there Charlie? It sounds like fun and I'm no good at fishing." She said as she batted her eyelashes.

Charlie was already like putty in her hands. "Alright, if you want. I haven't been to Port Angeles in a while."

I took Aislinn's hand and led her upstairs to my room. Surprisingly it didn't affect me to be in it. This whole being mad at the Cullens thing is working out well.

"Ok remember under no circumstances are you to go into La Push and I mean it. Keep away from there at all costs. Don't let Charlie meet up with Billy Black either. If you come back home before I'm here don't let Charlie invite anyone over. Most of his friends here are from the res."

"Got it. I'll call you if anything at all happens."

"Ok be safe and take care of Charlie."

We went back down stairs; I said by to Charlie and got in my Audi. I took off and parked my car on a side street; it would be faster to run. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was running towards the beginning of the end.


	5. Fire and Ice Friendship

**A lot of people have put this story on their favorite story list or on story alerts and I just wanted to say that is so cool. When I log into my e-mail and see all of those it makes me smile and want to get out the next chapter quickly. Thanks for taking the time to read my story and I hope you all keep reading because I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve. This chapter isn't too long but I've already started on the next so it should be up soon!**

**Playlist: **_**Dig**_** by Incubus and **_**Unholy Confessions **_**by Avenged Sevenfold**

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Being able to run at full speed was a great feeling. I'm faster than most vampires and it's hard to find places around Portland where I was able to run for more than a few minutes without getting too close to people. There was plenty of forest to keep me adequately sheltered from human eyes around Forks, not that they would be able to tell what I was. They would only see a blur, if they were lucky enough to even get that much. There was a slight drizzle coming down but as soon as I got close to the meadow it disappeared. Memories of this place could never do it justice. Why is it that the sun always shines here? I laid down in the long grass and stared up at the sun. I could see the diamond like sparkles of my skin reflecting around me, beautifully disgusting. Everything in my life now was like a double edged sword, I was fast but that was just so I could catch my prey, I was beautiful but that was just so I could attract my prey, my senses were heightened but that was just so I could find my prey. Everything that was now better about me was just that way so I could murder more efficiently. I suppose now I know some of the reasons behind Edward's constant self-loathing. _Oh great, here I go again. Enough, Bella, get it together._

I stood up and wiped off the blades of grass that had stuck to my jeans. Just because I was a vampire didn't mean that grass stains came out any easier. A dozen or so birds flew out of the woods by the south end of the meadow, I turned to see what had startled them and I saw a huge wolf lunging at me. I ducked to my right just as the wolf's teeth entered the space that I had just occupied not a moment earlier.

"Jake, what the hell?" _You're stupid, Bella. So damn stupid. Why would you think that he would care about you any more than he cares about any other vampire? You aren't any better than the rest of them and he knows that as well as you do._

Jake turned and faced me with his teeth bared. I nearly hissed but I controlled my instinct. Jake may hate me but I still love him. He sniffed up in the air and stopped growling. His eyes were scanning the woods around the meadow looking for something. _Oh crap was the whole pack after me? I don't want to hurt anyone._

I didn't know whether I should talk or not but I began anyway. "Look, Jake. I don't want to hurt you or anyone else. I'm sorry I should've told you about what happened to me I just didn't want you to hate me. I understand that you don't really have a choice in the matter, don't worry I'll go. I still love you though, even if you hate me and what I am." Then end came out as a whisper. I was sure that if I could cry I would be.

Jake looked at me with pain in his eyes and shook his head. He turned and ran back into the woods.

Usually I would swear at myself in my head but I felt the need to scream. "Way to go Bella." Now dry sobs were coming out between words, "way to go and make everyone so disgusted with you that they end up hating you and leaving. First _him _and now your best friend. You're an idiot!"

"I don't hate you and don't you dare put me in the same category as that bloodsucker."

I turned around to see Jacob, half naked and in human form walking out of the woods he had just ran into. He was walking very cautiously slow and his hands were shaking. There was no doubt that he was so mad it was hard to keep from phasing, the littlest thing could set him off now.

"Jake you came back!" I reached out my arms for him and wanted to run to him but I knew enough to keep my distance.

It looked like he was happy to know that it was still me under all this stone like skin but he was still clearly upset. "What the hell did that bloodsucker do to you, Bella? Why didn't you tell me about this?"

_Well, here goes nothing._ "He didn't change me, Jake. I haven't seen him since, you know when. I couldn't just tell you this over the phone. I didn't know if you would ever talk to me again so I wanted to at least be able to see you one last time. I couldn't come up until I was absolutely sure that Charlie would be in no harm." The expression on his face changed about a dozen times over the span of the few sentences that I spoke but he was slowly making his way closer to me. He stopped about 2 feet away, he smelt weird, almost like wet dog but I was glad he trusted me enough to be so close. Then I felt like crap because he really shouldn't trust me enough to be so close.

I didn't know what to say so I just stood there staring at him while he studied all of my features. After a few minutes he finally spoke. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Bells. You're able to be around me without going crazy so you aren't one of those newborns or whatever and your eyes aren't red so you don't kill humans, but your eyes aren't like the Cullen's. So does gray mean that you only eat fish or something?" He gave a big cheesy grin when he said the last part.

I couldn't help myself I leaped and grabbed him in a hug and to my surprise he didn't flinch. He was the same Jake and he didn't care what I was. I buried my head into his chest just like I always did. It felt right, like I was meant to be there. He was ridiculously hot and I probably felt ice cold to him but I didn't mind. Feeling him shiver from my touch was better than a human shivering from it. Jake knew what it was like to be different from everyone else; we were both fucked up in our own way. "Jake I'm so glad you don't hate me. I've missed you so much and I was so worried that you wouldn't want to see me again." I started to ramble on and on but he put his hot finger up to my cold lips and made a hushing noise.

"Bella, it's ok. Well, it's not okay, actually. I can't believe that this happened to you but I promised you we would be friends no matter what. Just because you are what you are doesn't mean anything. You're still my Bella and I'll always be your Jacob. Now you're just my Bella that smells bad."

I pulled away from him and stuck my tongue out. "You don't smell so great yourself, pal." I joked and crinkled my nose. He half smiled at me.

"I'm glad you're back, Bella. Don't ever leave like that again. I've been worried sick for a year and a half. Do you know how many situations I have imagined you being in? When you first left I thought that redhead got you and then I thought that maybe _he_ came back and you went away with him, never to be seen again. So I called Charlie at least once a week for the past year and a half and luckily he always said that he has spoken to you directly. So I knew that you were alive or, well not a live but that at least the bloodsucker hadn't killed you." The look on his face told me that he was in a lot of pain the whole time I was gone.

"If you hadn't talked to Charlie so much I swear I would've tracked you down. Then you called me and I was so happy and when I got here I saw a vampire and I didn't know it was you. I was worried for your safety so I wanted to kill it before you got here, after I lunged and you moved out of the way I caught a whiff of your scent. Then you turned around and I almost had a heart attack. I thought 'he changed her, that filthy bloodsucker killed her' and I couldn't help but growl. Then I was searching the woods for him but I didn't see any traces of anyone else and you started talking. I knew then that it was you, my Bella and not some blood thirsty leech. You looked so sad, so tormented and you said that you loved me even though you thought I hated you. I had to phase back in order to be able to talk to you and let you know that you were crazy. I could never hate you, Bella."

I sunk my head back into his chest. "Oh, Jake. You're the best friend anyone could ever have. I'm so sorry."

He just patted my head and tried to sooth me. "Shh. It's okay now. You're back and that is what matters." He lifted my head up and looked deep into my eyes before speaking again. "Okay now it's up to you where you want to start the story but I need to know everything."

I laid down on the grass and motioned for him to do the same. Once he was lying down I positioned myself so that my head was on top of his chest. The steady rising and falling of his chest was so comforting and he stroked my hair, calming me even more. I pondered for a second on exactly how and where to start. Then I decided that he really did need to know everything and I wasn't going to hold back.

"Well the story is long and it starts with when _they_ left but you know that part so I'll continue with graduation…"


	6. Heads I win, Tails we flip again

**I originally wrote this chapter as Bella having a conversation with Jacob about what she's been doing the past year but it wasn't detailed enough so I decided to write it from her point of view as she experienced it. Like in a movie when someone is having a conversation about what the past and you see the past instead of seeing them explain it. I'll probably break it up into a few chapters because it will get long. Oh and by the way this will **_**not**_** be a Bella and Jacob love story, they are just best friends. **

**Playlist: **_**Unwell **_**by Matchbox 20 and **_**The Taste of Ink**_** by The Used**

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Graduation was over, high school was over. This was the happiest day I had since _they_ left. Charlie and I went out to eat and we actually had a decent time. Being done with the hell that was high school made me happy enough that I almost acted normal, almost. Renee couldn't make it because Phil was in the hospital having surgery and needed her help. I was actually glad she couldn't make it, her never ending questions were sure to put me right back in my state of depression. She said was coming in 2 days though once Phil was a little better and staying for a week. I secretly hoped that something would go wrong and she would have to stay in Florida. _Shame on me, oh well._

Charlie and I got back from dinner and there was an envelope taped to the door. On the front my name was written in perfect handwriting. There were only a handful of creatures on Earth that could use a pen and make it look so flawless that you could have sworn a computer printed it. I slowly opened the envelope and took out a folded piece of paper that said…

_Bella, we are so proud of you. You will do great at Portland State as well as in life. Follow your dreams, live a full life._

My eyes grew wide and started to tear up. I spun around and looked out into the trees, wondering if they were watching. They came, they were here and they didn't even come to see me? They left me a note? It wasn't in _his_ handwriting but it was one of theirs, I knew that for a fact. Why would they do this if they weren't going to even speak to me? Did they like torturing me? Tears started pouring down my face; I turned, ran into the house and up the stairs to my room. I laid on my bed and screamed into my pillow while my salty tears soaked it.

Charlie knocked on my door about 10 minutes later and just walked in when I didn't respond.

"Bells, are you ok? I read the note, I hope you don't mind but I wanted to know what made you snap, you seemed so happy earlier. It's from them isn't it, the Cullens?"

I jerked my head up at the name, looked over at Charlie with my blurred vision and nodded my head before returning it to the depths of my wet pillow.

"Crap, well I don't get why they would do that. I guess they don't really know what you've been going through but still. I'm sorry, Bells."

He finally left my room a few minutes later when he realized that I wasn't going to talk. I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. I could hear Charlie downstairs on the phone talking to Billy. He was asking if Jake could come up, he couldn't. Jake and the pack were out chasing Victoria and wouldn't be back for a few days, I knew that. I was alone; the only person that knew what I was going through was off being a werewolf and chasing the evil bitch vampire that wanted to kill me.

I laid in bed that night and all through the next day, only getting up to go to the bathroom. I couldn't eat or sleep, I could only lay there and let my mind paralyze me with my memories. _They came. They were in Forks. I wonder if he was here. Why wouldn't they at least say hi? How could they just leave me a note? Follow my dreams? Live a full life? What kind of sick joke do they think they are playing to tell me to live a full life? Vampires really have some nerve. Don't they get that I don't have a life anymore; they took it with them when they left. Stupid immortals telling me to live a full life, like they would even know what the hell that is. UGH!_

I woke up the next day to Charlie knocking on my door saying that I had to leave to pick up Renee from the Airport in an hour. I lazily slid myself off of the bed, made my way to the bathroom and took a shower. I got out and examined my face in the mirror. My eyes were puffy from crying and my lip was swollen and red from my tendency to bite it mindlessly while Edward infiltrated my thoughts. _Great, Bella, you look like you've been beaten. Like Renee wasn't going to have enough questions for you._

I got dressed and ran out to my truck. It took a couple tries for it to start. I was starting to think that it was on its way out. I drove off down the street crossing my fingers and praying that the old thing wouldn't sputter to its death today. Luckily, my truck still had some life in it and was able to make it to the airport. I parked and made my way inside. _Oh lord._ There was Renee…arguing with airport security. _Perfect. I love my life._

I made my way over to my insane mother and grabbed her shoulder; she looked like she was going to punch someone. "Mom, what's wrong?"

She turned away from the brawny guy who she was yelling and hugged me. "Oh Bella, I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too Mom, now why are you yelling at them?" I looked up at the three huge security guards and immediately regretted letting them know that this was my parent. I'm sure she had been making quite a scene before I arrived.

"They…"She said turning back around and pointing at the guards, "lost my luggage and then they said I was making a scene and tried to kick me out without giving me my bags."

_Oh man it's worse than I thought. _"Mom, if they lost your luggage then they will call you when they find it. Come on lets go before they arrest you or something." I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"Thank you ma'am." The big one said to me with a wink, making my face turn beet red. I grabbed Renee's arm and quickly led her to my truck before she could make another scene.

"Wow I think that big one liked you." She laughed, I cringed.

"Oh, gross Mom. Come on." _He must not be very smart, he just saw what a mental case I descended from and he still wants to flirt. Wow._

"What? He was cute. Nice strong build, pretty blue eyes and brown hair. Very cute, even if he was a jerk."

"Mom, are you serious? How many times have you lost your luggage and how many times was it the airport's fault and not yours? I can't think of any. I'll call them later and have them take care of it." We hopped in my truck and I wished I had a car from this century. The ride back would be too long.

"Sometimes I don't know what I would do without you, Bella… Oh my! What happened to your face?"

_Oh crap, I need to distract her._ "It's nothing, mom. Do you mind if we stop by Angela's? She and Ben are leaving tomorrow to go backpacking through Europe for the summer. She called when I was on the way down and asked me to stop by so they can say bye."

"Of course sweetie. Now tell me about graduation…"

Renee spent the rest of the arduous trip asking question after question. I noted that she mostly stayed away from the topic of guys. Charlie must have warned her that I wasn't any better. I almost screeched in joy when I turned onto Angela's street. I love Renee and all but she really made me appreciate the lack of conversation between Charlie and me. Renee and I walked up to the door and I crossed my fingers that she wouldn't make me seem crazier than I already had acted the last few months. I loved Angela and Ben, they really stuck by me this year and I know I wasn't easy to deal with.

I rang the door bell; Angela answered and pulled me into a big hug.

"Hey, Angela, this is my mom, Renee." I said once enough air was back in my lungs.

"Hi, Angela, it's so nice to meet you. Bella has told me all about you. I'm really glad she has such a sweet friend like you." _Thank God Renee gave a normal answer. _

"It's nice to meet you too. Bella is a great friend, I'm so glad she and I got the chance to become close." Angela said with a smile.

We spent the next half hour talking to Angela and Ben about what they had planned for their trip. They both looked so happy when they talked about all the countries and sights they were going to see. I was really happy that they were able to get out of Forks and kind of jealous at the same time. I wish I had somewhere to go and someone to go with. I said my goodbyes to Angela and Ben and they promised to write, send post cards and call as soon as they got back. Once we were home Renee and Charlie tried to get me to go out to lunch with them, I told them I was tired but they should go out.

I laid in my bed and started thinking of what to do with my summer. For the past couple months I had been trying to think of things to do that would get my adrenaline going so I could hear that sweet, velvet voice. Much to my dismay his voice never appeared after the cliff diving incident. I never tried anything that stupid again though; Jake had made me promise that I wouldn't. I wasn't to throw myself off of or out of anything. So sky diving and base jumping were both off limits. It was hard to find activities in Forks that were exciting in anyway and then you add that they have to be pre-approved by my werewolf best friend and it was impossible. I thought of taking up fighting but I just laughed at myself. _Right Bella, that would be the most pathetic thing ever. You running into the ring prepared to fight, slipping and knocking yourself out before the fight even started._

I went to my computer to shop for some books; I would need plenty of reading material to get me through this summer. After I settled on a few new releases that seemed promising I checked my e-mail. There were a few messages from Renee that I hadn't bothered to read for the last couple days and then there was one that looked like an advertisement but the subject like read: Wanna get away? _Hell yeah I do._ I clicked on the e-mail and saw that it was an advertisement for and airline offering discount rates. Then, ding! A light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed my keys, hopped in my truck and took off towards Port Angeles while, once again, crossing my fingers that my truck didn't die.

My mind was spinning the whole way there. _Where will I go? How long will I stay? Who will I take? _Every once in a while I was glad that I had this constant empty feeling, apathy made it a lot easier to not care that I had no plan. Going with the flow had never been an attribute of mine before. I made my way into town and parked in front of the small travel agency that I had never thought twice about going into before. I rushed in and noticed there was an older blonde woman sitting behind one of the three desks in the small room. She was reading a newspaper; they probably never had busy days here. She finally noticed me, put away her newspaper and motioned for me to sit down.

"Hello, dear" she began, "I'm Suzanne, what can I help you with?"

_I instantly started to panic. What can she help me with exactly? _"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan but you can just call me Bella, and um… I'm not exactly sure what you can help me with." I admitted.

She looked slightly confused but smiled politely. "Well, I'm guessing you came here because you want to go somewhere."

"Yeah, I want to go _somewhere_ but I don't know all of the details. Well, I don't really know any of the details this is just a spur of the moment thing."

She looked at me like she understood that I _needed_ to get away, I already liked this woman. "Ok dear, let's start with the basics; when do you want to leave, how long do you want to go for and where do you want to go."

"I want to leave now, or as soon as possible." I hesitated before answering the other questions. "I don't really know how long I want to be gone for or where I want to go. I was hoping that you could help me with that. How long do people usually go away for?" I mentally kicked myself for not planning this out before coming but I was almost sure that if I did I would have changed my mind and stayed in Forks.

"Well people go away for many different lengths of time. It depends on what responsibilities, like work or school that you have and what you can afford."

"Money and time aren't really a problem for me at all."

She looked at me, confused. The truth is that I was confused with myself. I was set to start school in the fall but I had the summer and money wasn't a problem anymore. On Christmas Eve I had received a letter addressed to me from a company in Seattle. The letter was typed and gave no indication who wrote it. It listed 5 companies that where currently being traded in the stock market. Next to each company was a date of when to buy stocks, how much to buy and when to sell them. I thought it was a joke until I looked back into the envelope and saw a check that it was made out to me from something called the United Olympic group in the sum of $250,000. I almost ripped it up, Charlie was a cop and this sort of thing was illegal. I tried to contact the company but they gave no information that would allow me to do that. I even googled the company but found nothing. I decided that whoever was stupid enough to send a teenager something like this deserved to be messed with. So I ended up investing it so I could prove them wrong and almost had a heart attack when I learned that I had actually made money and a lot of it. I didn't want or need to spend any of that money so it just sat in my account waiting for the day when I grew the balls to spend it. _Balls? Wow Jake was really rubbing off on me._

Suzanne looked like she didn't know how to continue so I did. "I'm supposed to start college at PSU in the fall and I got a big inheritance from my grandma so money isn't an issue."

She wiped the confused look on her face and replaced it with a smile. "Oh, well that gives us something to work with then. A lot of college students take the summer to travel; many even take a year off between high school and college. So…"

"A year!" I cut her off, "A year sounds good."

"Alright then so we have a time frame so now we're on to where exactly you want to go. Do you want to travel all over or live in one place?"

"Um , how about live in one place and then travel around from there?"

"Ok , so you'd like to rent an apartment or house in which ever country you decide and then make arrangements to visit other places in that year?"

"Yeah, that sounds great." I was starting to get really excited.

"Ok now do you have any idea where you would like to live for the year?"

"I have no idea. I mean I know about a lot of different countries and stuff but I don't know where I should go."

Suzanne got from her desk and went towards the back room. I heard her rustle around and she came back out a minute later with a dart.

"Do you have a quarter, dear?" She asked. I dug through my pocket and handed her a beat up quarter.

"Ok," She continued, "how about 'heads' will be the northern hemisphere and 'tails' will be the southern?" I nodded and she flipped the coin up into the air. It landed on her desk with the 'heads' side up.

"Northern hemisphere it is." She said as she handed me the dart and pointed behind me. I turned around and saw that there were two huge maps on the wall, side by side and split by hemisphere. The northern hemisphere was on the right and the southern was on the left. _Oh I see._

I walked over so that I was about 10 feet away from the map of the Northern hemisphere, closed my eyes and threw the dart. I opened my eyes and Suzanne was already in front of me looking at where I had thrown the dart.

"Ireland!" She yelled as she turned around. "Good choice!"

"Ireland, it is then," I said with a smile.

(Back to present day conversation with Jacob.)

"So," I said turning my head to look at Jake whose eyes were now wide with disbelief, "that's how I decided to go to Ireland."

He sat up and my head slid off of his chest and onto the ground. I sat up and looked at him and he was staring intently at me. "So who sent you the money and stock stuff?" He asked.

"I never found out." I admitted.

"I think I know we both know who it was." He replied while rolling his eyes.

"No, Jake. It wasn't them. He wouldn't ever do something like that and the others didn't even care enough to say goodbye. I'm really tired of everyone thinking that it was them."

"Who else have you told about them?"

"_Oh, I haven't told you about my Irish vampire sister yet, huh?"_

"_What?!"_

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_So I'd like to take a moment and thank everyone that has reviewed so far:___**Kenai52503, omg444888, xXBee BeeXx, Bleached Kitty, twilightnewmooneclipselova and Divepup. **_Your reviews seriously mean soooooooooooo much to me and they get me to update way faster._


	7. Not funny

**I had a really horrible day yesterday when I started writing this but I needed to do something to get my mind off of how angry I was so I kept writing. I hope this chapter doesn't suck but I wasn't in my normal mindset when I wrote it so I guess I'll see if you guys end up liking it. The next couple chapters will be really interesting as we learn about what went down in Ireland but once we get back to the present day it will get even more interesting, maybe even downright crazy. Thank you to those of you who reviewed. **

**Playlist: **_**Survive**_** by Rise Against and **_**Full Moon**_** by The Black Ghosts**

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I was walking too quickly for someone with a severe lack of balance, I was nervous about missing my flight even though I still had 3 hours until it left. I was just getting to my gate when I ran into a rather large man wearing a security guard uniform. I looked up and noticed that it was the same security guard that Renee had called "cute" when I picked her up from the airport 4 days ago. _Great._

"Hello, nice to see you again _Ms_…?" He said a little too seductively.

"Swan, just call me Bella though."

"Ok, _Bella_. I'm Brendan. So where is your lovely mother today?" He said to me with a smirk.

"She's back at my house with my dad. Her flight home is tomorrow so you don't have to worry about dealing with her today." I laughed. _Hey I laughed and I didn't force it. Cool?_

"Oh, thanks for the warning. I'll be sure to stay clear of her," He chuckled. "So where are you off to in such a hurry, if you don't mind me asking?"

_Well actually I kind of do mind telling my completely ridiculous plans to complete strangers but I suppose since I'm going off to a country where I don't know a single soul I might as well get used to talking to strangers. "_I'm leaving for Ireland today. It was kind of a last minute thing so I'm really nervous. I'm 3 hours early but I couldn't just sit home and wait."

"Ireland, huh? That's really cool. What made you want to go there? Are you fond of guys with accents or something?" He joked.

I had no idea why he was so interested in my life. Maybe he wasn't, maybe he was just bored, but he reminded me of Emmett and that made it easy to talk to him no matter what his reasons were. He was nowhere near as beautiful as Emmett but no one who wasn't immortal could be even a fraction of as beautiful as any of the Cullens. He was big qnd scary looking but had a sense of humor that showed he didn't take anything too seriously, just like Emmett. I missed my big brother. I threw myself back into the conversation before my mind overflowed with memories of the Cullens.

"No, I'm not going there to bag an Irishman, I don't date. I don't really know why I'm going there. It's a really long story, most of which doesn't make sense." I admitted mostly to myself. _I really have no idea why I'm doing this._

"Well, my shift just ended when you ran into me so I have time for a story, and by the looks of it so do you." He said with a warm smile.

"You want to hear my story?" I gave him a questioning look. Not many people wanted to have conversations with me since I tended to end up engulfed in depression because of some insignificant thing they had sad. Of course this guy didn't know that but still, usually my apathetic aura scared strangers off.

"Yeah, I would. You don't have to tell me though if you don't want. I can just go and leave you be." He looked at me apologetically.

"No, that's ok. I don't have anything to do for about 2 hours and 55 minutes so if you don't mind being subjected to a boring, slightly crazy story then sure I'll tell you."

He smiled. "For some reason I doubt that your life has been boring at all."

So there I sat, for the few hours before starting the newest and probably craziest chapter of my life, telling a complete stranger almost every detail of my life the past few years. I skipped over the parts that mentioned that the people in the story were mostly mythical creatures as well as the part about receiving illegal stock tips, of course.

"So the lady at the travel agency really planned this whole thing out in 3 days? That's crazy. I'm definitely going there if I ever need to plan a trip." He said with an astonished look on his face. I was surprised that he sat there and listened to my whole story and wasn't just faking interest.

"Yeah it really was a miracle. I probably would have chickened out if there were any speed bumps in the process."

"Well I think that it's good that you didn't. I'm sure that you getting away will be a good thing and you'll gain a lot of life experience. So how did you tell Charlie and Renee?"

"Well that was actually easier than I thought…"

I had left the travel agency and drove out of Port Angeles with my stomach full of knots. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell Charlie and Renee. I didn't know when I was leaving but Suzanne had promised me it would be in less than a week. Renee had left her severely injured husband to come see her empty shell of a daughter and now that daughter was going off to another country with little warning and I felt really bad about it. Charlie and Renee had already been home a while from lunch, seeing as I had been in Port Angeles for hours, and when I got home they were really worried. I explained everything that happened that day to them and that I had decided to take a year off and go to Ireland. They gave each other a look that said that they thought it would be worse. I frowned at the thought that both of my parents had seen me so miserable that they thought one day I would snap and gladly accepted the alternative of their daughter putting off college to go away.

"Once they got over their typical safety-type concerns that any parent would have, and I made it known that I was not going there because _he_ was there and that I really had no idea where he is, they were actually really supportive. They had both been trying to figure out some way for me to be happy again and they think that this might be that way. I don't think I'll ever be the same, once someone like Ed…_um, he_ comes into your life it can't just go back to normal but hopefully I can be ok. Or at least sane enough that it doesn't affect my family."

"Well, Bella, you are a smart girl and eventually you'll be totally over this guy. I'm sure your life will be better than it was before, you'll have experienced different parts of the world and you'll probably learn that you don't need a guy. "

_I don't need a guy, I need Edward. He isn't just a guy; he is perfection defined, the love of my life and the keeper of my heart. If only everyone knew how much I really, truly needed him. How seeing those piercing eyes stare into mine would be worth all the pain the world could inflict on me. Hearing Edward say 'I love you' gave my heart a reason to beat. Now that was gone and I wasn't sure what I lived for but I knew what I would die for. I would die for another chance to feel his embrace, to see that perfectly crooked smile or to watch him play the piano._

Just then it was announced that it was time for my flight to board. I said goodbye to Brendan and thanked him for being a good listener. He thanked me for telling him the story as he wrote down his address and I promised to send him a post card. I got on the plane and settled in for the long flight to Maine before heading on from there to Ireland. My nerves were long gone by now, I was excited. My talk with a stranger had made me realize that this could be more than I had thought, not that I had given it much thought. I relaxed and let the thorns of my memories latch on and take away my consciousness. Thoughts of Edward filled my mind and reality flew by.

I awoke from my stupor to a flight attendant gently shaking me. We were here, home for the next year. I stepped off of the plane and cautiously made my way through the bustling airport. I grabbed my bags and walked towards the row of cabs waiting outside. The air was cold and damp, the sky was a very light grey and the color green was already more prominent than it was in Forks, that was saying something. I got into the cab and showed the driver a piece of paper that held the address of a Bed and breakfast in a town called Maam, that Suzanne had booked me to stay in for a few weeks while my rental house was under construction.

The cab ride was long but I hardly noticed. I was too busy looking at the scenery. I had never seen anything like it. It was beautifully green, Forks had nothing on this place. Once we were out of the city there were beautiful green rolling hills everywhere with wildflowers dancing in the wind and old stone homes along with a few newer wood homes were speckled across the landscape. I was glad when we finally arrived to see that the bed and breakfast I was staying in fit in with the charm of the old houses I had admired from the cab. Building a hotel here would have been wrong. It reminded me of the Cullen's house; it had an old eerily-pretty look. Two little boys were playing out front and quickly ran over to me when I got out of the cab.

"Are you the swan lady that's come to stay with us?" The older one said to me with his adorable accent. He had dark brown hair, porcelain skin, perfect dimples and big blue eyes.

"Yes, I'm Isabella Swan but you guys can call me Bella." I said to him with a smile.

"I'm Shaughn and this is my brother Caden. I'm six and he's four." He said, sounding very proud.

"Almost five," Caden said. He was just a smaller version of his brother but with red hair and bigger dimples.

"Well it's nice to meet you both; I'm really excited to be staying here. Now where should I go to check in?"

"Come on with us and our sisters will get you settled." Shaughn said as he led me inside.

The inside of the house was beautiful but quaint. There were a lot of antiques mixed in with new furniture that was obviously carefully picked out to go with the old feel of the rest of the home.

"Falyn, Aislinn? The swan lady is here!" Shaughn yelled up the stairs.

I looked up from the vase I had been studying and saw a beautiful redheaded girl around my age coming down the stairs. She looked in my direction and I gasped as I saw her eyes, they were bright red. She had bright red eyes and was too beautiful to be human. _Holy crap a vampire?_ She took in my response to her appearance and rushed upstairs.

I thought back to the research I had done the night that Suzanne had called me with the details of my trip. I googled the town I would be staying in only to find out that it was the 4th cloudiest place on earth. _Why the hell didn't I think that by going to one of the cloudiest place in existence I would run into vampires? Only I would end up at a bed and breakfast operated by vampires. Not just any vampires, the kind that drink human blood. Wait then why are Shaughn and Caden here?_

Then the same girl rushed down stairs but she was oddly different. She was still beautiful but not as beautiful as a vampire and her eyes were the same color blue as Shaughn and Caden's. I backed away from her slowly until I ran into a wall. I was guessing that her power had something to do with changing forms.

She looked at the fear in my face and her eyes showed some of the same worry. "Shaughn, Caden take her things to her room please." Once the boys were upstairs she turned back to me and spoke. "Sorry, about that my sister is a bit jumpy. Her name is Falyn and I'm Aislinn; you're Miss Swan, right?" She said as she reached her hand out to shake mine.

I was apprehensive about shaking her hand. I didn't know if it was a trap but I figured if she wanted to kill me she could have already done it easily. I reached out my hand toward her and gasped in surprise when it was warm, like mine.

"J-just call me B-Bella, please." I stuttered.

"Alright then, Bella let me give you a tour of the house."

(Present day conversation with Jacob)

Jacob was grabbing his sides, obviously in pain from laughing so much.

"What the hell is so funny about this, Jake?" I questioned.

"Only you would leave to another country and end up staying in a house with a vampire that could make herself look human." He choked out while still laughing

My eyes shot daggers at him and he stopped laughing after a moment. "That is where you are wrong though, Jake. Falyn was a vampire and her power was to shift shapes but I didn't learn that until later. Aislinn was her human twin sister."

"What? One twin was a leech and one was still a human? How did the bloodsucker not kill her sister?"

"Do you really have to say the words leech or bloodsucker? I mean technically I am one too, Jake."

He rolled his eyes. "You aren't a leech. You didn't choose this life and you don't kill people. So answer my question, how did she not kill her sister or brothers?"

"Ok Jake, calm down. I'm getting to that part but obviously she wasn't a newborn or she wouldn't have been able to run away after she saw me and I wouldn't be here. "

"Wait, you said that your new vampire sister was named Aislinn not Falyn, so what happened?"

"I'm getting to that part Jake…"

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**Ok before I freak out any one who happens to be from Ireland I need to explain some stuff. I did do a search of the cloudiest places on earth and it did say that Maam, Ireland was the 4****th**** cloudiest. However when I did a search for a place called Maam I didn't find anything. I did find a place called Maam cross. I don't know if it is the same place or not but for my story's sake we will say that there is indeed a small town in the country called Maam.**

**Oh and Falyn's name is pronounced like Jimmy **_**Fallon**_**. Not Fall-in. :)**


	8. Nothing is what it seems

**I got some really, really amazing reviews yesterday and today so I am updating fast with a long chapter. This is dedicated to the most awesome reviewer ever, Bleached Kitty(and her evil ipod) as well as: Kaatt, Yana5 and bunny-trail.**

**Playlist: _Save me_ by Evanescence and _Never forget_ by Dropkick Murphys**

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I had no idea what was going on. This girl who I had just seen as a vampire now looked nothing like one and she was giving me a tour around the bed and breakfast, just like any human would. _Maybe she is luring me to my death? _I decided that if I was going to be killed then I was going to at least know what the hell was going on here. It's time for Bella Swan, private I. She led me around the house explaining about some of the more interesting looking antiques and explaining the history of the house without giving me a chance to ask her any questions. I was so skeptical of her but she reminded me so much of Esme. She obviously loved anything that had to do with decorating and she seemed so motherly. I was counting the time between her breaths and her blinks, they were all very convincing. If she was a vampire then she had the whole 'looking human' thing down to a T. After she showed me most of the house she led me to my room, before she had the chance to leave I took my chance.

"So it's just you, your sister…" _if she exists, _"Shaughn and Caden here?" I innocently questioned.

"Yes, my parents left the place to Falyn and me."

"So where are you parents?" I was getting a little bolder.

"They were killed almost three years ago." She said with a pained look on her face.

_I wonder if she killed them. _"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok; I've come to terms with it." She said sadly.

"Well, it must be so hard to take care of two little brothers and run a business. How do you find time to _sleep_?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

She just smiled and said "It was hard in the beginning but I don't know how I would have gotten through everything that happened with Falyn and my parents if I didn't have the boys."

_Aha! I got her_. So the vampire I saw wasn't her but it was her sister. "Oh, what happened to your sister? Is that why she ran away from me today?" I asked.

Aislinn's mouth plopped open at her realization that she must have said too much. "I'm sorry I have to go tend to some things, I'll be making dinner in a little while, and I'll call you down when it's ready." She said as she turned to walk out the door.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her back around; I now had no doubt that she wasn't a vampire. "Cut the shit, I know what your sister is. I've almost been lunch for too many vampires for me to stand by and wait for one to eat me. I'm trying to get away from the mess that one vampire left me back home and I'm not about to let another one screw up what is left of my life." I immediately started to regret what I just said. This girl was obviously related to a vampire who happened to live in the house I was now in and had no problem killing people. _Edward was right, I have no instinct for self preservation. Ah, Edward, the reason I'm in this mess._

The look Aislinn was giving me snapped me back into reality. It was a mixture between disbelief, confusion, anger and fear. "I, I don't know what you are talking about." She spat out frantically.

_Oh no, you are going to pin me as the crazy one._ "I'm sorry for being so bold, I shouldn't have said it like that but honestly, I know what your sister is and I know that you aren't like her. I'm not in the mood to find out that this place is all a trap for your sister's dinner and I'm on the menu."

"This isn't any such thing. What my sister does is none…" she cut herself off from saying anymore. "You are completely insane; I have no idea what you are talking about." She was getting more frantic by the second. I'm sure her sister wasn't anywhere around or she would have busted in here by now and finished me off.

"Look, I'm not going to tell anyone what she is, if that is what you are worried about. I just don't want to be her lunch. I am slightly crazy due to a certain vampire but I am sane enough to know what I saw. Your sister should invest in some contacts or change her diet if she is going to be around humans."

The look on her face was of pure disbelief. The look on my face probably matched hers, I had no idea where my courage came from, and it definitely wasn't like me. I guess when the one thing you live for leaves you don't really care about what dangerous situations you get into.

She stared into my eyes for a few minutes before speaking again. "What do you mean 'change her diet'? What does that have to do with her eyes?"

"Well if she drank blood from animals her eyes wouldn't be red, they would be gold. Unless she needed to hunt, then they would be black."

"Really?" Her eyes were wide. _Had she never thought of this? _I just nodded at her. "I tried to get her to not hunt humans, it scares me but Osiris tells her that it would be unnatural for her to eat animals and that she wouldn't survive."

I rolled my eyes. "Well I don't know who Osiris is, but he's an idiot. I knew a coven of vampires that only hunted animals and they thrived. One was even a doctor and was around human blood all the time." I smiled as I thought of Carlisle and how truly remarkable he is.

"You knew a whole coven, who didn't drink human blood and they didn't kill you? Where you related to them?"

I laughed. "No, I wasn't related to them. They were like my family though. One of them was my, uh boyfriend for a while but he realized he didn't love me and left me."I started to cry, no one but Jake knew anything about that. No one knew that a vampire left me and took my heart with him.

Aislinn came over to me and pulled me down on to the bed with her. She stroked my head and sang to me, she was motherly. Before I knew it I was asleep, running toward Edward in my dreams.

I woke up gasping for air, my dreams of Edward quickly fading away as I remembered the day's events and that I was in a house occupied by a non-vegetarian vampire. It was dark in my room but I could see that it was daylight behind my curtains. I could see a pair of crimson eyes glowing across the room, staring at me. My heart beat picked up and I was silently cursing it for giving away my fear and probably wetting the appetite of the vampire that was only a few feet away from me.

"My sister told me that you know what I am. I'm not surprised, most people are somewhat shocked by my unusual appearance but you had a look of fear in your eyes that meant you must know." She sounded exactly like Aislinn but smoother and with a menacing twist.

"I hope she told you the part about me not telling anyone?" My heart was pounding and my voice was thick with fear. I hoped that Edward's velvety voice would come to me once more before I died.

Falyn just chuckled. "Yes, she did tell me that. Can you please calm down? I don't want to kill you but your heart is taunting me."

Then the door to my room cracked open and Aislinn whispered "Has she stopped screaming?" _Oh crap I was screaming in my sleep?_

Falyn got up and turned the light on. "She's awake now. We were just having a little chat." She smiled menacingly at me as Aislinn walked into the room and sat down next to me. Seeing them both in the same room was…interesting. It was like the devil and angel all in one room and looking freakishly similar. Compared to her sister Aislinn looked like an angel.

"Are you ok?" She asked me and gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Well, I'm still obviously not over the fact that my vampire ex-boyfriend left me so I decided I need to get away from the place that reminds me the most of him and then I show up to where I am supposed to be staying only to find out that there are more vampires. Not only are there more vampires but they eat people, not to mention the last time I ran into a red-headed vampire my ex-boyfriend had to kill her mate so she has been after me ever since. Other than that I'm just peachy." I said sarcastically.

Falyn rolled her eyes, looking almost exactly like Rosalie but with pin straight red hair and red eyes. Aislinn gave me an empathetic look and said "Your luck really isn't the best now, is it? You poor thing… It's ok though, Falyn isn't going to hurt you."

I looked over at Falyn, not really believing what her sister was saying. She rolled her eyes at me and Aislinn gave her a stern look. "Ok, ok, God. I'm not going to hurt you. Osiris and I are leaving for a few days to hunt anyways. So if you want to run you can at least get a head start." _Oh great there is that evil smile again._

"Hush, Falyn. I don't want you scaring her, she's been through enough. She's been more than understanding with us, most people would have ran away screaming through the whole town that there are vampires living here. Besides, she already told me a lot of interesting things and I'd like to hear more if she would like to stay." Then she turned to me. "Bella, I'm sorry if my sister is a pain, you can leave if you wish but I would like for you to stay, you and I have something in common that not many living people do. You and I have the same look in our eyes, a look that says we've been through enough struggles to last a thousand lifetimes."

"Well, you don't really give me much of a choice. I can leave and probably never meet anyone that really knows what I am going through. The only person that knows about any of this is a werewolf so he isn't very understanding of the whole thing. Or I can stay and finally get to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through. I'd like to stay."

Falyn rushed over towards me to where she was a few inches from my face. "You've seen a werewolf and lived to tell about it?" Her eyes were blazing with fury.

"Uh, yeah." I stuttered. She may not 'want' to kill me but I doubt she would lose any sleep over it if she was able to sleep. "My best friend is a werewolf. Well, not a werewolf actually, just a shape shifter that takes the form of a wolf." The subject was obviously a touchy one for them both. Falyn let out a huff and jumped out of my window, while Aislinn looked on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry, what did I say?"

She looked up at me and half smiled. "It's not your fault. The mention of werewolves is just hard for us to deal with. They are what killed our parents. Osiris killed them and has been sort of our protector ever since."

"Oh, Aislinn I'm so sorry. I won't bring up Jake anymore."

"No, it's fine. Shape shifters aren't bad, that is Falyn's power and if I can talk to anyone about this it is you. I think we are going to be great friends."

"I do too. It's kind of crazy how things work out." I said as my stomach growled.

"Oh, I'm so sorry; you haven't eaten since you got here. You must be starved! Let's get you something to eat. I need to feed the boys too."

We made our way down to the kitchen and told Aislinn my whole story, including the part about mythical creatures and receiving illegal stock tips, while she made breakfast. Aislinn made the boys eat in the dining room while we ate and talked in the living room.

"So why don't the boys know about Falyn and Osiris?" I asked while scooping a spoonful of oatmeal into my mouth.

"I don't want them to know until they are older. Any little boy will think it is cool and want to become a vampire. If they want to become one I won't stop them but I want them to make the decision when they are older and know all the consequences of it. I want them to have as normal of a life as possible until then."

"I wish you could meet Esme. You remind me of her so much. Some people are just born to be mothers. Is that why you haven't been changed, because you want to have children some day?" We had already decided that between the two of us no question would be off limits. We were to say whatever was on our mind.

"No. Well, I suppose that could be a part of it but it was really because of the boys. The night our parents were killed was the night we found out about vampires and werewolves. Aislinn and I were sharing a room and we heard screaming coming from my parents room." She paused and took a deep breath before starting again. " She and I got out of bed to go see what was happening when a man with red eyes came into our room holding our brothers and told us to hide with them because something bad was in our house. We hid in our closet but we could hear our parents screaming in pain and pleading for all of our lives." Now tears were streaming down her face and mine.

"Falyn and I were each holding one of the boys, covering their ears and rocking them. They were scared but they didn't hear all the horrible things that we did. After a few minutes the screams stopped and a few minutes after that the man came back into our room and told us it was ok now, that we could come out of the closet and we were safe. Then he put Shaughn and Caden in their room and came back to talk to us. He said that his name was Osiris and he was a vampire that had been chasing a couple of werewolves when he saw them come into our home. He said he had to hide us first then when he went into our parents room to kill the werewolves that our parents were already too close to death to be saved and by the time he had killed the wolves our parents were dead. Falyn and I were screaming and crying but he told us that he would protect us and that we had to be strong for our brothers."

I put my arm around her and rubbed her back, her eyes were full of such pain and it took her a few minutes to start speaking again.

"Eventually we stopped crying because we realized that we were responsible for our brothers. That night Falyn begged Osiris to change her; she was full of anger and wanted to be able to kill anything that tried to hurt our family again. He asked us how old we were and when we told him we were fifteen he said that he would change us both in a few years but we needed to grow up a little more first. Falyn didn't let up, she asked him every night for months to change her but he wouldn't do it. He always said 'Soon, my dear.' Osiris and I always had an unusual relationship. My sister and I were completely identical but he was obviously attracted to me. Now that you've told me about your relationship with Edward I feel like it is the same in a way except well…"

"You are the one that doesn't love him, instead of him not loving you." I said.

She gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean it…"

"No," I interrupted her. "It's fine. I'd be lying to myself if I denied that it is just like that. Keep going, please." I needed to get back into her story before I lapsed back into my coma.

"Ok. Well Osiris told me all the time that he would give me anything that I want and one night I asked him if he would change me if I wanted, even though he thought I was too young and he said he would. Well, Falyn over heard that and she threw a fit. Our house was a war zone for days and after a week he finally gave in. He took her a couple hundred miles away and changed her but she was a wild newborn and she had to stay away from us for months and when she finally was able to come back to us she had to hunt right before or she couldn't stand it. After her newborn year was up she was better but it was still hard for her. That's when I decided that I couldn't do it. I can't bring myself to leave the boys and I couldn't be near them if I knew that I wanted to kill them."

"So what did Osiris say about that?"

"Well, he was really upset. He confessed that he had plans for us to spend eternity together. That was uncomforting to me. I couldn't help but think that maybe if he hadn't been so drawn to me that he might not have saved my siblings and me. I'm not against the thought of being immortal. It feels weird that my twin is and I'm not. As soon as she was changed I could tell, we have a very strong bond and it became weaker ever since she became a vampire. I think if I was changed our bond would be stronger but I won't be changed just because someone wants me to be around forever."

"So you two were identical before she was changed?"

"Yes. No one could tell us apart. I've felt incomplete since then and so has she. It's like we are both part one and right now the pieces aren't fitting together. We both agree that it is best for the boys if I stay human though."

"You are really remarkable, I'm glad I didn't run away screaming." I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes, so am I. You're the best friend I've ever had besides my sister and I've only known you a day. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I believe that God has a plan for you and me."

(Present day conversation with Jacob)

"What it is with these creep-o-zoid leeches falling for humans? First you then this girl and now both of you are vampires. Like I needed anymore reasons to hate them."

"Jake, Edward only thought he was in love with me and what Osiris' sick self felt wasn't love, it was only a desire to have a trophy. He would do anything for that trophy including killing innocent people."

"You mean he took her life just for his selfishness?"

"No, Jake. He killed a lot of innocent people just so he could get closer to her but he wasn't the one who changed her."

"Who did he kill?"

"Well, he started with her parents…"

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**I hope everyone liked it. I hate leaving cliffhangers but don't worry I've already started on the next chapter. It should be up tonight or tomorrow. Probably tomorrow because it will be super long and action packed. Thanks again for the amazing reviews!**


	9. Snakes and Martyrs

**Oh my, I got a ton of hits yesterday. So many people put this story on their alerts or their favorites. I also got some really kick-ass reviews. I would like to say thank you to Bleached Kitty for her always amazing reviews, Spider-Hand for finding a website with some awesome pictures of Maam and sending me the link as well as Yana5, Kaatt and Nicki Nick. Your reviews were awesome and I truly appreciate you taking the time to review. This chapter is for all of you! I rushed it out so I'm sorry if I made any mistakes. **

**Playlist: Sidewinder by Avenged Sevenfold and Behind Closed Doors by Rise Against**

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I had been in Ireland for a month and so far I was loving it. Aislinn had grown to be my best friend and she introduced me to everyone in town as her long lost American sister. She showed me all the interesting places around Maam including the lake and a few old castles and even managed to drag me along with her to church. She was really good with Shaughn and Caden whom I had grown to love as the little brothers I never knew I wanted. Even Falyn had warmed up to me and always asked for me to repeat the story of when James tried to kill me in Phoenix. I would tell the stories and then she and Aislinn would sooth me after I started crying about Edward and that never failed to happen. The only one who didn't like me was Osiris but I wasn't very fond of him either.

A week after I had first arrived Falyn and Osiris had come back from their latest hunting trip. I hadn't seen Falyn since she jumped out the window after my mention of werewolves and I hadn't met Osiris yet but Aislinn had told me a lot about him. He walked into the house and looked me up and down, he wasn't surprised that I was there, he had obviously heard about it from Falyn, he only nodded his head to say hello and then moved on to embrace Aislinn. He was about six feet tall and looked like he had a darker complexion before he was changed, his jet black hair was slicked back and he dressed in all black dress clothes. He looked like he _wanted_ to fit the picture of a vampire, all he needed were some fake fangs and he would look like he just stepped out of a vampire movie. Aislinn wanted him to tell me all the stories he had told them and he obliged after she gave him her saddest puppy dog face.

"Well, Bella, would you like to hear some of my stories then?" He spoke in a very different accent than anyone I had ever met.

"S-sure, if you don't mind." I squeaked out, something about him scared me.

"I'll leave out some of the trivial details but I was born in Egypt over 500 years ago; it was a very different time then, I'm sure you can imagine. The vampire that changed me wasn't there when I woke up but a member of the Volturi guard was. Have you ever heard of the Volturi, Bella?"

"Yes, Aislinn told me a lot about them. There are 3 members of the Volturi then a bunch of members of the guard. They enforce the laws for vampires, right?"

"Yes, that is correct. When I woke up a vampire named Demetri was there. Demetri is very menacing; he can track anyone by picking up the tenor of their mind. So I awoke from 3 days of fire burning through my veins and Demetri told me what I was, took me on a hunt and then told me that I must go with him to meet with the Volturi. Once we arrived I was introduced to Aro, Marcus and Caius. They are the three leaders of the Volturi. Aro can see every thought that you have ever had in your whole life just by touching you, Marcus can see the strength of bonds that people have with each other and Caius is hell bent on following the rules. Aro is the main vampire in charge, he is over enthusiastic about everything and I was quite annoyed with him the whole time I was there."

"Were you there for a long time?" I found the courage to ask.

"Yes, I was there for a very long time. After I had arrived in Volterra Aro explained to me why I was there. The Volturi were always looking for new members for their guard because they always had to have the best and most powerful vampires in it. Every vampire that was offered a position gladly took it, it was an honor."

"So they wanted you and your power?"

"They wanted me but not as part of the guard. They wanted me to find talent to add to the guard. At that point I didn't know it at that time but I had a talent that made me able to find vampires or humans with powers. Humans, of course didn't know that they had these powers yet but I did."

"So how did the Volturi know that you had that power?"

"I was told that the vampire that changed me was once a member of the Volturi. This vampire had my same talent but he wanted out because he had found a mate. Before he left he found me, turned me and told the Volturi that I would be a good replacement for him. Aro asked if I would join and I did. Most members of the Volturi and the guard stay in Italy but I was able to travel the world in search for talent. I checked in every couple years and told them about any prospects but other than that I was on my own. It was nice, and then I met this one." He was looking at Aislinn with lust in his eyes.

"Did you find Aislinn and Falyn because you were looking for talent?" I was slightly more comfortable with talking to him.

He turned away from Aislinn to stare at me with fury in his eyes. "No!" he yelled. I was scared and couldn't move, like a deer in headlights. He got, up walked over to me and crouched down so his eyes were level with mine. He didn't move them from my gaze while he spoke quietly this time "I found them when I was hunting a werewolf, I saved their lives. I love them more than anything and nothing will take them away from me."

_The son of a bitch is trying to intimidate me._ I knew something wasn't right. The way he was acting was like Edward was when I was questioning him about how he stopped the van from crushing me, he was hiding something big. I didn't give up then and I wasn't about to do it now. I took a deep breath and put my toughest mask on.

"I love them, too. I love them enough that if they didn't want me around I would understand. I would never try to make them be something they didn't want to be." I spat back at him.

His eyes blazed with crimson fury and he turned and left the room. Ever since that day Osiris steered clear of me and I was happy to return the favor. Luckily he was off a lot on hunting trips with Falyn; he couldn't be around us for more than a few days without feeding. Aislinn was getting tired of his moody behavior but I didn't bring my concerns up to her or Falyn. Osiris had saved them and their little brothers and for that they were forever grateful. Falyn followed him around like he was the best thing since sliced bread.

(Present day conversation with Jake)

"Let me get this straight, Bells. You find out this vampire that eats humans is a member of the vampire royal family and you decide to get on his bad side? I've got to agree with the bloodsucker when I say that you don't have any will to survive."

"Well, luckily I'm already dead so I don't have to worry about that, huh Jake?"

"Not funny, Bells."

"I think it is. What so you are allowed to make jokes but I'm not?"

"Just get on with the story."

"I would if you would stop interrupting me!"

Jake rolled his eyes and made a motion over his mouth like he was locking it and throwing away the key.

"Yeah I wish, Jake."

He rolled his eyes again.

(Back to past)

It was now the end of July, I had been in Ireland for a month and a half. Aislinn, Falyn and the boys had convinced me to stay at the house for the rest of the year. It didn't take much convincing though, I loved everything about this place and the family kept me busy so I didn't have time to let my thoughts carry me off into depression. I was going through one of my bags and noticed the slip of paper that Brendan, the guy from the airport, had written his address on when I promised him I would send him a post card. Falyn and Osiris were off on a hunting trip but I asked Aislinn and the boys if they wanted to walk into town with me and help me pick out post cards to send to everyone.

We made our way into the town, which was smaller than forks if you can imagine, and into Mrs. Carpenter's shop. I let everyone pick out a postcard, Shaughn picked out one of the lake for Charlie, Caden picked out one of the nearby castle ruins for Renee and Aislinn picked one out that had a view of the hills just behind the house for Brendan. I wrote the basic details to Charlie and Renee and told Brendan that everything was going great and thanked him for being there for a crazy stranger. I mailed them off and we walked back home. The boys were excited because after lunch Aislinn and I were going to take them horseback riding. I had only been once, a few years ago and I wasn't sure if this was a disaster waiting to happen but I was actually excited too.

We walked into the dark house and what felt like a boulder crashed into me. I landed on my back with cold hands pinning me down and red eyes hovering above me. Then the lights turned on and I saw it was Falyn. She had a frantic, scared look on her face.

"Falyn, what are you doing? Get off of Bella!" Aislinn screamed as she ran over and tried to pull Falyn off of me.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't know it was you guys coming in." She said while she jumped off of me.

"Who did you think it was, Falyn?" Aislinn was looking at her with worry in her eyes.

"The Volturi. We have to get out of here, now."

"What do you mean the Volturi are coming here? Why would they come here? I thought that they uphold the laws for vampires, what does that have to do with us? Where is Osiris?" Aislinn was not moving until she got some answers.

"He is getting a car for us. I don't know why they are coming, he wouldn't tell me. All I know is that if they see that you know about vampires they will kill you. They don't like their secret being out. Osiris should be here any minute. I'm going to pack some food and the boy's things. Bella and you should pack a few things for yourselves. I don't know how long we will be gone." She said frantically.

I just stood there, numb. I knew something was wrong with Osiris and now because of him I was about to run for my life from vampires, again.

"Bella, go pack, NOW!" Falyn screamed out me. I snapped out of my daze and ran up to my room to pack. I threw a few pieces of clothes into my bag along with a picture of Charlie, Renee and I from right before I left, shoved my iPod into my pocket and made my way back down stairs. Shaughn and Caden didn't know what was happening but they could tell something was going wrong and we were in danger. Caden was crying and ran to me. I picked him up and rocked back and forth with him resting on my hip.

"Bella, I'm scared." He said in between sobs.

"I know, baby. It's ok though, everything is going to be alright. We just have to go away for a little while but then everything will be better and we can come back home." I whispered to him.

"You won't leave right?"

"I promise I won't leave. I love you with all my heart, little brother. Nothing in this world could make me leave you."

Falyn and Aislinn came down stairs with bags in their hands. "He's here, let's go." Falyn said while taking Aislinn's bags so that she could carry Shaughn. We made our way out to the car and Osiris was clearly scared out of his mind. I didn't have any doubts that he knew this day would come. We all got in and the car took off like a flash through the country roads. Caden sat in my life quietly sobbing into my chest until he fell asleep. We drove for a few hours in silence until Shaughn finally fell asleep once it was dark outside.

"What the hell is going on Osiris?" I spat out at him quietly. Aislinn looked at me like I had grown two heads. _Oh, right she doesn't know that this is his fault._

"I don't know." He said.

"Bullshit. Don't fuck with me Osiris, now isn't the time to keep up your little façade. You've put people that I consider my family in harm's way and you need to tell us what exactly is going on. Do us all a favor and cut the crap, we need to know what we might die because of. You were part of the Volturi so you must know why they are coming here. How did you even find out they were coming?"

Osiris just kept his eyes out at the road ahead. Falyn stared at him from the passenger seat, obviously wanting an explanation too. It was clear he wasn't going to talk so she started. "We went to one of our favorite hunting spots and after we were full we stopped by our friend Conner's home. It was destroyed, on fire and the cloud of smoke from it was purple. I asked Osiris what happened and he just said 'Volturi.' I asked him why the smoke was purple and he said that it was what the smoke looked like when a vampire was set on fire."

"I know that the smoke from burning vampires is purple but why did you automatically assume that it was the Volturi and they were after you Osiris?" I demanded. _Stupid vampire needs to cough up some answers before I set his ass on fire myself._

Aislinn was sitting there staring ahead with a blank look on her face. I had never seen her act like this; it looked like she was shutting down. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, trying to let her know that everything was going to be alright. She knew as well as I did that nothing was going to be alright after this. Osiris just kept his eyes on the road, not speaking.

"Come on! You owe all of us some damn answers!" I said a little louder.

"Is what I think the truth, Osiris? Are we in danger because of something you've done?" Aislinn whispered, not moving out of her blank gaze.

Osiris shifted uncomfortably in his seat. _Ha, caught you now you ass. _He couldn't keep things from Aislinn and all of us knew it.

"Dearest, it isn't like that I promise you…" Osiris was cut off midsentence by a rock slamming into our car, causing it to fly through the air in a series of spins. It felt like we were in the air for hours, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. _This is it, the day that I die._ I grabbed Caden's head and tucked it protectively into my chest. Our car did a few more spins and finally hit the ground with a loud crunch. It slid along the ground for what felt like days before coming to a stop. I opened my eyes after a moment and saw that we were upside down. It felt like I was having an out of body experience. I could see the glass shards falling from around me onto the roof of the car while Osiris got out, leaving us behind. I could see Shaughn and Caden Screaming but I couldn't hear them. Falyn was prying the door off of the car and pulling an unconscious Aislinn from the wreck.

In an instant everything sped back up and I could hear the shrieks of my little brothers. Caden was still in my arms; I unbuckled us from the car and kicked out what was remaining of my window. I pushed Caden out carefully, making sure to keep the glass away from his skin and crawled out. I noticed that we were in a huge field, a couple hundred feet from the two lane road we had been driving on. I ran over to where Falyn had drug Aislinn and Shaughn out and noticed that luckily no one was bleeding. Aislinn was now beginning to wake up and instantly started screaming. We shushed her and helped her onto her feet.

"Hello." A sinister voice said to us softly.

We turned around to see two figures with crimson eyes, wearing dark grey cloaks looking at us. The one who spoke was huge, the same size as Emmett but I doubted this guy was a teddy bear on the inside. The other was much smaller but looked even scarier. The expression on his face was pained, like he was having a hard time not killing us right then and there. It was the same look that Jasper had when I was around and he was having trouble controlling my thirst. A third cloaked figure was walking from behind the road toward us, dragging Osiris by his neck. He was big, not as big as the other one but still huge and he was scarier than both of the others put together. He walked over to us and threw Osiris onto the ground at our feet and the other two vampires positioned themselves on either side of him, he was clearly the leader.

"Osiris, we have such a long history together, I'm surprised you thought you had a chance of being able to run away from me," The leader said.

"Demetri, please, you must understand…" Osiris said, his voice was thick with fear.

_Demetri as in the tracker for the freaking Volturi guard? GREAT._

Demetri held up his hand, silencing Osiris. "Oh but I do understand brother. The Volturi so graciously take you in and you chose to not only abandon us but also to defy our most important law. I'm going to give you one chance to explain yourself because you and I go back a long time. I suggest you make whatever you have to say very good, you know how generous I am by giving you this chance and you won't be receiving another."

I looked over at Osiris, his façade was finally broken, he couldn't hide anything anymore and the scared expression on his face told me that he knew it too. Falyn's eyes were full of fury and darting back and forth between the Osiris and Demetri like she didn't know who to kill first. Aislinn was crouching and had Shaughn facing her so he couldn't see what was happening while she covered his ears. I grabbed my iPod out of my pocket, put the earphones in Caden's ears and chose some soothing music. The boys were already scared enough they didn't need to know what was about to happen to us.

"Demetri, my friend, I was sent to find talent for the guard and that is exactly what I have done. These twin girls are both gifted. The one that is already changed can shift shapes and the one who is still human shows promise. I didn't go back to Volterra because I wanted them to grow up more first. I promise you, brother."

Demetri flashed a sinister smile "So," he said to Aislinn. "It is planned for you to become immortal?"

Her eyes got wide and glossy, her tears were threatening to spill out everywhere. _Please for the love of God Aislinn lie! Say that you are going to be changed! _She took a deep breath and kissed Shaughn on his cheek before speaking. "Yes, he was planning to change me soon. I only wanted to have some more time left with my little brothers." She whispered.

"Well then, that is good, Aro will be pleased. We will take you and your sister to Volterra and let Aro know that you are to be changed." Demetri said.

Aislinn pushed Shaughn over to me and then walked over towards Demetri, stopping just a few feet away. I crouched down and covered his ears while Caden sunk his head deeper into my chest. "No! I won't be away from my brothers." She didn't show any fear, she wasn't asking, she was demanding.

Falyn came up from behind her, grabbed her arm and whispered "Aislinn if you don't go they will probably kill us all. It's best just to do as they say." Their red and blue eyes stared back at each other; both sets were blazing with fury.

"Your sister is wise, you should listen to her," Demetri said, "Felix, take these two back to Volterra, Tallis and I will finish up here."

The big one, obviously Felix started walking away and motioned for Falyn and Aislinn to follow. Falyn complied but Aislinn just stood there staring at Demetri and Tallis. Demetri stared back at her and she lunged at him. I closed my eyes and winced because I knew that Aislinn never stood a chance against a vampire. I opened up my eyes to see that Shaughn's were wide with terror, he obviously felt me wince. I smiled weakly to reassure him that everything was ok before I looked back up to where Aislinn had been standing before.

She was lying on the ground twitching and there was a bite mark on her arm. Demetri was holding back Tallis who had a frenzied look; apparently he was the one who bit her. I wanted to kill him. He hurt my sister and now she was going to be the one thing she didn't want to be. For Shaughn and Caden's sake I didn't lunge at him myself, if I was dead the boys would have no one left. Falyn flew back to Aislinn's side, looked her over and then gave Tallis a death glare.

"You will pay for this." Was all she said as she picked Aislinn off the ground and cradled her while whispering in her ear.

"She was going to be changed no matter what and now she has learned not to attack those stronger than her." Demetri said. Tallis was finally starting to calm down but he still looked like he was in pain. He clearly wanted blood. Demetri shot him a disappointed look. Felix came back over and led Falyn back the way they had came. I saw them get into a car that was previously hidden in the shadows and drive away. I was now in the presence of three non-vegetarian vampires and keeping myself together for the sake of my little brothers was becoming harder by the second.

"Now, back to your wonderful story," Demetri growled at Osiris, "what exactly were you going to do with these three humans?"

"The young children I was going to… get rid of. The girl showed up a few months ago and befriended the girls. I would have already killed her myself but she too will have a strong power once she is changed."

I snapped my head up and glared at him. _Sick fuck was going to kill my little brothers. Why would he lie about me having powers to save me?_

"Really?" Demetri said, raising an eyebrow at me. "Well then it's settled, the two of you will go back to Volterra with us, she will be changed and you, Osiris, will explain yourself to Aro."

"What about the boys?" I said to Demetri. "I can't leave them."

"They are too young to be changed; we aren't fond of immortal children. They will have no powers so they have no future use to us and we will not change them. They are humans and they know our secret so they must be dealt with. Tallis…."

"NO!" I screamed. "They have no idea about vampires. You have to let them live, no rules have been broken." Tears were streaming down my face. _They are going to have to kill me before they lay a finger on my brothers._

The frenzied look that Tallis had before was magnified now that he was thinking of killing my brothers. He was probably imagining how their blood would feel going down his throat. I resisted the urge to vomit and looked at Demetri with pleading eyes.

"Is this true, Osiris? Do these children know nothing of immortals?" Demetri asked, Osiris nodded his head yes. "If the children don't know then no laws have been broken and we have no desire to kill them."

I heard a shriek come from Tallis and everything turned back into slow motion. Demetri and Osiris looked at him in shock and he lunged at Shaughn. I pushed the boys down behind me and jumped into Tallis' path. My eyes closed when his fingernails dug into my skin and his teeth sank into my shoulder. The pain was extreme for a moment and then I felt a surge of cold throughout my body as though my veins were turning to ice. I immediately knew there was a difference between this and what I felt when James bit me, I must be dying this time, not changing. I opened my eyes and noticed that we were still in the air. In an instant Tallis separated from my body and blew up into dust while I hit the ground with a thud. I couldn't move, I closed my eyes and wasn't able to open them again. _I'm sorry boys, I broke my promise. I'm sorry I have to leave you._ Everything went black, I couldn't feel anything but the ice taking over my veins, I couldn't move and I couldn't hear.


	10. Lessons of life and death

**I got so many amazing reviews for my last chapter. I would like to say thank you to: Bleached Kitty, 19Twilighter19, maligurl, Kenai52503, Spider-Hand, Yana5, omg444888 and Starlit Tiger. I tried to reply to all of them but I was writing this at the same time so I got kind of side tracked. If I didn't respond to your review feel free to yell at me through PM. I don't want to pass up telling anyone thank you personally so please let me know if I missed you. **

**Playlist: **_**You eclipsed by me**_** by Atreyu, **_**Afterlife**_** by Avenged Sevenfold and **_**Little Piece of Heaven**_** by Avenged Sevenfold (FYI the song **_**Little piece of heaven**_** is pretty sick and disturbing. It reminds me of Osiris. Listen at your own risk)**

**Disclaimer- There are a few direct quotes from New Moon in here. I did not highlight them or put what page number they are from because I don't know, I don't have my book with me and I changed them a little. So S. Meyer if you are reading this, don't sue, I mean no harm or copy right infringement.**

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Fire and ice have always been enemies, always teetering on the brink of destroying or being destroyed by the other. If you've ever wondered which of the two is stronger I can tell you the answer now, its ice.

Wave after wave of frigid pulsations danced their way through my body. One by one my, veins, arteries, muscles, nerves and bones froze, only to be fractured into a thousand pieces by the next pulse. Over and over this process was repeated until every part of my body had been frozen, fractured and frozen again thousands of times. I would gladly trade the fire of James' bite for this frozen hell. Ice was stronger and fiercer than fire could ever dream of being; I prayed to God that it would be quicker too.

I awoke in an instant with all my senses coming back to me at once. I had been unable to move, see or hear for an immeasurable amount of time. Had it been hours, months, or centuries? I didn't know. All I knew was that I had broken my little brother's promise, I could see and taste _everything_, and my throat was burning. Footsteps, I could hear footsteps coming towards the room I was in. Two pairs, one person was much larger than the other. The walls around me were made of stone; it looked like the inside of a castle. Dust particles were drifting around the air and I… I wasn't breathing but it wasn't because I was dying. This wasn't hell and it certainly wasn't heaven. It was the earth, the same as it had been before only now I walked along it as an immortal, something I wanted at one time but now I would rather die a thousand times than have this fate. Footsteps, they were getting closer to the large wooden door to my right until finally they stopped. The door crept open and I crouched, ready to kill whatever walked through that door. I took a breath; the oxygen entering my lungs brought with it no feeling of relief for I no longer needed it. The air however did bring about something more powerful, smell and taste. I could taste the stale air, many vampires had come and gone from this room and two of them were about to enter again.

Felix, the big Emmett-like vampire walked in first. My instincts took over, identifying him as threat and I dashed to the other side of the room, crouched and let out a chilling hiss. He studied me for a moment, clearly surprised by something about my appearance, as the owner of the second pair of footsteps entered the room, Aislinn. She looked nothing and everything like she had before. At just a human glance you couldn't see a difference between her and Falyn but with my new vision I could see every little detail that marked them as different from one another. This was something that took me months to see when I was human. I pulled myself from out of my crouch, still keeping an eye on Felix and held my arms out to Aislinn.

"I'm so glad you're awake, I've been a wreck." She spoke softly as she ran and pulled me into an embrace, she still had the same motherly feel to her even with her vibrant red eyes. All of a sudden she gasped and stood frozen.

"Aislinn? Aislinn what's the matter?" I started shaking her but she didn't answer. "What is the matter with her?" I screamed at Felix.

"It's her power, just let her go and she'll snap out of it." I let her go and she unfroze.

Her eyes were filled with worry. "The boys…" She whispered.

"You know where the boys are? What is your power?" I asked her frantically.

"I saw your memories. Tallis lunged at Shaughn and you pushed them down and jumped into his path. You saved them but that is why you are changed." She whispered while looking deep into my eyes.

"_You can see my memories_? Do you know where the boys are? What happened to them?"

"I don't know where they are, I only woke up yesterday. The only one they have let me see so far is Felix and he wasn't there to see what happened. He said once you woke up we would see Aro and Demetri." We both turned to look at Felix.

"As soon as you two hunt I will take you to see Aro." He said. Now the burning in my throat became stronger.

"I won't be hunting humans." I said to Felix.

"We figured as much since you were so close to Carlisle and his coven."

My memories came flooding back to me. Biology with Edward, Dinner in Port Angeles, the Meadow, Baseball, Phoenix, James, the Hospital, the Cullen's house, my Lullaby, Edward leaving. My memories all came back to me as though I was experiencing them all over again but they were different somehow. The hole in my chest grew and I nearly collapsed in pain. I thought back to one day about a month before graduation when I searched on the internet for the reason my memories of Edward made me hurt physically not just emotionally. I stumbled on a website that gave me a name for what I was going through; Somatoform disorder.

"_Somatoform disorder is a condition in which the physical pain and symptoms a person feels are related to psychological factors. People who have Somatoform disorder are not faking their symptoms. The pain that they feel is real and they feel what they say they are feeling," _was what the website read.

So I wasn't a complete freak, enough people had this same problem that they had an actual name for it. Right now I was cursing myself for allowing Edward to haunt me even in death. I pushed the pain away and snapped back into reality.

"How do you know that I knew Carlisle?" I asked Felix.

"We will have plenty of time to talk about that after you hunt and meet Aro." As soon as Felix mentioned hunting the burning in my throat flamed up again.

"I don't want to hunt humans either." Aislinn said.

"Very well, we have taken it upon ourselves to bring in some animals so you won't have to leave yet. We can't just have two newborns roaming around our city. Follow me."

I shuddered at the thought that if I wanted, they would have brought humans in for me instead of animals. Felix led us down dark halls and into a large room where there were two black panthers in cages. Aislinn and I looked at each other and then got down to business. I killed the big cat quickly and tried not to feel sorry for it as its warm blood satisfied my thirst, cooling the burning that had just plagued my throat moments ago. I looked up at Aislinn and her grey cloak was covered in blood, I looked down and noticed that I was wearing the same thing, as was Felix but mine was darker almost black and not covered in blood.

"Are you satisfied or do you need to drink more?" Felix asked.

"I'm fine for now." I said.

"I am too." Aislinn said as she wiped the blood from her mouth. Her eyes were already less of a crimson red. Felix led us back out into the hall and into another large room but this one was much more grand, there were beautiful paintings, gold chandeliers and three thrones ornately carved from dark wood. At these thrones sat three vampires with paper like skin and red eyes. One had an expression of an excited kid in a candy store, one looked completely…_bored?_ The other looked angry. Behind them were several vampires including Demetri and Falyn. There was a large mirror on one side of the room I recognized every reflection in it but one, it was _me_? I walked over to the mirror, bypassing everyone. I was too engulfed in my curiosity to remember the circumstances I was in. I studied the reflection in the mirror, the perfect face of this girl was covered with beautiful pale skin that was luminous as pearl. Her long dark hair cascaded flawlessly and her body was smooth and strong. This was me? When I lifted my arm and glanced at it so did the girl in the mirror but somehow it was different. When I looked at my skin it had a golden aura around it that wasn't visible in the mirror. My curiosity peaked when I stared back directly into the girl's eyes; they weren't anything I had ever seen. Vampires only had red or gold eyes and these were light grey. _What was I?_ Fear washed over me and I turned around and looked at Aislinn.

"What am I?" I asked her. She looked at me and turned to the crowd of vampires, she didn't know either.

"Dearest Bella, you are a vampire." The vampire with a kid in a candy store expression said as he stood up.

"But my eyes?" I questioned in a whisper.

"Yes, marvelous aren't they? I've only seen eyes like that once in all my thousands of years. We are all very excited to have you here." He made his way over to me and a thousand thoughts raced through my mind trying to decide whether he was friend or foe. His calm demeanor told me he wasn't a threat at the moment and I resisted attacking him as he touched my arm. Instantly a disappointed expression took for his excited one.

"After seeing you in the thoughts of Mr. Cullen I was curious as to whether or not you would block my powers regarding your thoughts. I'm a little disappointed to know that you are immune to my powers as well. Jane…?"

_Read my thoughts? Oh right which on does that, Caius? No, Aro is the mind reader. He knows about the Cullens and their powers? They were here?_

A small almost child looking girl with short brown hair and an angelic face stepped out from the group of vampires and walked towards Aro. She was wearing a cloak that matched mine in color.

"Yes, master?"

"I was wondering dear one, if Bella is also immune to your powers?" A small hiss escaped from Falyn but no one paid attention to her. This definitely wasn't going to be good. Jane smiled at me and everyone in the room watch us intently. I stiffened my body, closed my eyes and waited for whatever was about to come. Nothing happened and after a moment I opened my eyes. I looked at Jane and she no longer smiled. She glared at me, her jaw clenched with the intensity of her focus. I stared at her, again waiting for the pain. Nothing happened.

Aro started to laugh. "Ha, ha, ha," he chuckled. "This is wonderful!"  
Jane hissed in frustration, leaning forward like she was preparing to spring and I instantly crouched, prepared to fight.

"Don't be put out, dear one," Aro said in a comforting tone, placing his hand on her shoulder. "She confounds us all." Jane's upper lip curled back over her teeth as she continued to glare at me. I looked back to Falyn whose eyes were wide with surprise then to Aislinn who looked as confused as I must have. Aro noted the expression on my face and chuckled.

"Bella, dear, you are a very powerful vampire. Jane's power, like mine is mental. She gives the illusion of pain without actually damaging you. Much to our dismay you have a mental shield. I've never seen anything like it; no one has been able to stop Jane or myself." He explained with a smile.

"Is that why…"

"Your eyes are grey?" He said finishing my sentence. "No dear, your power is strong but not what makes you so different and powerful. That has to do with how you were changed."

Like a flash more memories came back to me. Car crash… Demetri, Felix, _Tallis,_ the boys. The boys!

"What happened?" I snapped, a low growl instinctively rising in my chest. Members from the group of vampires were quickly by Aro's side, acting like body guards. Felix laughed and I glared at him but he wasn't who I wanted to kill, I searched the room for Tallis but he was nowhere to be found. Aro chuckled and waved the group back with his hand while Aislinn walked over to my side. He had some explaining to do.

He made his way back to his throne and sat down. Marcus was looking as apathetic as ever and Caius was looking at me with a devilish grin. I felt the need to swipe it right off of his face but I was distracted by Aro talking and Falyn coming up behind me and locking me into a quick embrace before standing on the opposite side of me from Aislinn.

"How much do you remember dear?" he spoke. I was annoyed by how nonchalant his voice was. This was the fate of my family and he was talking about it as if it were nothing.

"I remember members of your guards crashing our car, provoking my sister, biting her, taking her away and then unjustly lunging at my little brothers after it was agreed that no laws were broken. I pushed them down and threw myself into your guard's way. Then my body froze and I saw dust everywhere before everything went black. Why don't you and your attack dogs explain what happened after that? I noticed you kept Tallis away from me, which was smart. The second I see him I will rip out his throat, I don't care what the consequences are." I spat out. I had to fight back the growls and snarls that were trying to escape from my throat.

"I apologize for my guard's impulsive actions; Tallis was a new member to the guard. We were not aware that he couldn't restrain his desires and for that he paid the ultimate price." Aro said, his tone didn't imply that he was sorry at all.

"What do you mean? You've punished your subordinate with a slap on the wrist and that is supposed to be punishment for what he did?" I hissed.

"No, my dear." He chuckled, that was getting really annoying.

"I find nothing funny about this situation, Aro. I'm beginning to become impatient and surely you know that it isn't wise to frustrate a newborn." Low growls and hisses erupted from the group at my subtle threat but Aro's constant joyful demeanor didn't change.

"Dearest Bella, I do not wish to frustrate you but I am slightly amused at how confused you are. You were the one that punished Tallis, don't you recall?"

"He bit me, I froze and there was dust. That is all I recall, I already told you this." I snapped, again.

"Yes and that dust was all that was left of young Tallis."

"What, I mean… _how_?" _He lunged, I jumped, he bit, and I froze… then there was dust. I couldn't have done that could I? If I hurt him did I hurt the boys? _"Never mind, that explanation can wait. I want to know about my brothers." I looked on either side of me to Aislinn then Falyn. "_We_ want to know about our brothers."

Finally Aro stopped smiling. "Dear ones, I'm afraid that after Bella was changed Osiris fled with the boys. Demetri tracked him into a nearby town and found him hovering over the boy's bodies."

"Lies!" Falyn shrieked as she lunged at Aro. Before anyone could jump between them, before Aro's bodyguards could tense, Falyn was on the ground. No one had touched her, but she was on the stone floor writhing in obvious agony, while I stared in horror and began to crouch. Aro glanced at Jane and suddenly Falyn stopped moving, a second later she got up and walked back over to my side. She looked fine now but I couldn't believe it. I pushed her protectively behind me; Jane was next on my hit list.

"We do not wish to hurt you Falyn, but you must keep your anger controlled until you have listened to everything we have to say… Demetri agreed with you Bella when you said that no laws had been broken and no harm would come to the boys, did he not?"

"Yes, he did agree with me," I replied flatly. What did it matter if the Volturi didn't want the boys dead? They were dead now and nothing could bring them back.

"We would not go against our word, especially when hurting those boys would cause bad feelings between the three of you and us. We would like for you girls to become part of the Volturi guard and we don't harm other members of our family in anyway."

"Osiris wouldn't do something like that. I know him." Aislinn hissed. She was close to snapping. She probably would have already if we hadn't witnessed Falyn's failed attempt at attacking Aro.

Aro raised up an eyebrow at Aislinn. "Are you sure of that?" He motioned to Demetri who exited out of the room and came back a moment later dragging Osiris by the neck like he had that fateful night, and flung him at Aro's feet.

"Osiris! What an honor it is to have you join us!" Now there was a slightly menacing edge to Aro's joyful tone, "Do you have something you wish to confess to these girls about the night you met them?"

"No." Osiris whispered, not moving his gaze from the ground.

Caius laughed now, he was clearly going to enjoy whatever was about to happen. "Jane," Aro said and instantly Osiris was writhing on the floor just as Falyn had just been doing minutes earlier. It was disturbing to watch but I knew that Osiris was getting what he deserved for putting my family in danger. If he was the one who killed the boys then he deserved much worse and I would be the one to make sure he got what he deserved. Seconds ticked by and turned into minutes but it all felt like hours. I shot Aro an expectant look and he waved off Jane, Osiris relaxed instantly. "Osiris you are only causing yourself unnecessary pain, don't you believe that these sweet girls need to know the truth?"

"Y-yes," He choked out. His façade that I always despised was fractured so extensively that it was only a matter of time before it crumbled completely. I had thought that it was broken down the night we ran from the Volturi but I was wrong. The room was in complete silence for what seemed like days, everyone was staring intently on Osiris waiting for his explanation.

"Ja-" Aro stared but Osiris wasn't about to go through that again.

"Wait," he said while lifting his head to look at Aislinn. He mouthed the words '_I love you' _to her, I hissed at him while she glared.

"Osiris…" Aro said expectantly.

Osiris sighed then began, "The night that I met the girls I was out for you, the Volturi searching for talent. It led me to the girl's home and I observed them for a few hours, realizing that both of them were going to have strong powers once they were changed. I caught a whiff of Aislinn's blood and I was instantly in love with her though she was only fourteen at the time. I battled with myself for hours, contemplating on whether to kill her and drink her sweet smelling blood or to let her live and love her. I entered her house that night, ignoring the fact that I hadn't hunted in days when the scent of their mother hit me. I couldn't resist, I drank her blood and then moved on to their father. I told the girls that I had been hunting werewolves and that was what killed her parents, I told them that I saved their lives. They thought of me as their protector and I knew that when the day came that I did change them I wouldn't be able to let them join the guard. I abandoned my duties as one of the guard in hopes that Aislinn would grow to love me. She never wanted me to change her though because she wanted to take care of her younger brothers. I always regretted not killing them along with her par-"

That was the last thing Osiris would ever say. Aislinn and Falyn lunged at him and in a matter of seconds he was in a thousand pieces. Caius retrieved a silver object out of his black cloak and burned what was left of Osiris. I was frozen, no pain I had ever imagined felt like this, losing two family members. My little brothers were innocent and didn't deserve this. I gave my life to save my little brothers but in the end it wasn't enough, my promise was still broken. My vision turned to red and I flew out of the room, hell-bent on destruction.

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**Uh-oh! I know a lot of you are upset about what happened to the boys. I have this strange feeling that we didn't get the whole story Osiris before Aislinn and Falyn finished him off. ;) Oh and just a little Public Service announcement, Somatoform disorder is very real. I didn't make it up; I've had it since I was six, actually. Mine wasn't cause by my vampire ex boyfriend though, I wish. I wonder if S. Meyer realizes that she gave Bella a psychiatric disorder. Sorry for rambling but I thought I'd bring it to everyone's attention because it's hard to explain to people sometimes why you feel like your leg is broken though nothing happened to it without them shunning you for "faking" that you are hurt. Please feel free to point out any mistakes I made, especially in regards to the Volturi. I don't want to screw up any facts about them; I want them to be just as they have been for thousands of years. :) **


	11. Powers

**As much as I love talking about Bella's past this shall be the last chapter of it. We need to move on to the present and the future holds a lot of excitement I promise you. :)**

**I don't have time to find the perfect songs for a playlist right now but if you think of anything feel free to tell me about it and I might put it up.**

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My anger was taking over me and all I could think about was destroying and killing. Aislinn and Demetri caught up to me as I was trying to find my way out of the castle, or whatever this place was. I felt Aislinn's smooth stone hand grab mine gently. I turned around and looked into her eyes, the anger drained from me and sadness took its place. If we could have cried we would have for days.

"Bella, breaking something or hurting someone won't bring them back. Osiris has paid for what he did and now we need to move on. We can't let grief control us." She was always so motherly; it really was a crime that she would never be able to have her own children. I knew then that she needed me, she needed someone to take care of and that fell upon me even though I was older. Falyn wasn't the type to be nurtured, so I was going to be strong for Aislinn and what's left of my family. How was I ever going to see Charlie or Renee again? I looked at Aislinn with my eyes now full of despair.

"Charlie and Renee," I whispered. Aislinn grabbed me into a strong embrace.

"Bella, it's ok. Once our newborn time is up we can go see them."

"You want to go to?"

"Of course I do. Your family is my family, _our_ family. Now that I have my powers and I've seen your memories I feel like they have always been my family. It's really strange having so many experiences at once."

"Yeah I can only imagine. Now you can re-live how clumsy I was and all my trips to the hospital." She smiled for a moment but then her expression became somber and almost guilty. She looked down from my gaze before speaking again.

"It's a blessing and a curse really. I've only had my power for a day and already it is overwhelming. I feel like I'm intruding sometimes because I've experience some of your most private memories with… _him_."

(Present day conversation with Jacob)

"Don't tell me your bloodsucking sister fell in love with the leech too?" Jacob said while rolling his eyes.

"I wouldn't be surprised if one day you rolled your eyes and they fell out, you do it too much. Call my sister a bloodsucker one more time and I'll gladly pry them out for you, Jake." I hissed.

"Damn Bells, protective much?"

"Yes I am protective of my family, Jake. And no, she didn't fall in love with him but she did feel like she knew him and when she experienced him leaving…she felt almost as hurt as I did. It's not something I would want anyone to go through let alone my sister."

(Past)

The rest of that week had dragged on; Aislinn was constantly by my side keeping herself busy by mothering me. The grief of the boys being gone was too much to bear so I locked it in the back of my mind, only to bring it out when I was alone. I didn't want Aislinn to hurt anymore than she already was. We stayed away from a certain part of the castle where we had accidently stumbled upon the _dining _room. There was a faint smell of human blood in the room but it made me sick rather than thirsty. I learned that the smell of human blood wasn't as attractive to me as their heart beat was, it was easier for me to resist than it was for other vampires but I didn't understand why until my next conversation with Aro.

Felix and Demetri regularly came to see the three of us. Falyn had already agreed to join the guard so she wasn't around as much. After Felix and Demetri explained to us that it wasn't their intention for anyone innocent to get hurt, they were just doing their duty and apologized for what happened, we all actually became friends. Demetri told us about some of his more memorable tracking expeditions and they both taught us a lot. It was them who first encouraged me to project my shield, to try to guard other minds beside my own. Aro sent someone everyday for those first few weeks to ask us to talk with him again but we politely declined until we were strong enough to endure hearing more about our brother's fate. Aislinn and I were well aware that they were eventually going to ask us to join the guard, seeing as they had taken it upon themselves to dress us in their trademark cloaks. We talked about it but weren't sure if it was right for us. It disturbed me that my cloak was the same color as Jane's, I wasn't about to become anyone's pet. We walked down the hall towards that grand room and waiting in front of the door for us was Jane. If I wasn't immune to her powers I probably would have been as scared of her as Aislinn was.

"Let it be understood that you, Aislinn, are not under any circumstances to touch Aro," Jane chimed in her sinisterly angelic voice. Aislinn nodded her head and we entered the room. It looked almost exactly the same as it had last time, Aro, Marcus and Caius looked like they hadn't moved at all. They only thing that looked different were the slightly fearful expressions on faces of the guard. _They couldn't be scared of us, could they?_ Aro, of course, wore the same excited expression as always. His constant jovial mood was slightly irritating and I was sure it wasn't just because my mood was the opposite of his, something about it seem feigned.

"Bella and Aislinn! How great it is for you to finally join us again. Isn't this wonderful, Marcus?" Marcus didn't even shift slightly out of his blank, apathetic stare. I had only recently learned that Marcus was so detached from everything due to his wife, Didyme's death. I felt sympathetic toward Marcus and I liked that he didn't feel the need to fake an interest in anything like Aro did.

"Aro, will you tell me about my eyes now?" I finally asked, saving Marcus from being forced to speak. He looked up at me, he still had the same apathetic look on his face but I knew he was grateful.

"Oh, yes dear one. I have only known one vampire like you in my whole existence. He hasn't been seen for a few hundred years and no one knows where he is. It's hard to believe that anything has happened to him because he, like you is nearly indestructible."

"What do you mean indestructible?" I said as I gave him an incredulous stare.

"According to the _Myth of the Martyr_, a human that knows of the existence of immortals and sacrifices their life to a vampire for an innocent to live becomes an extremely powerful vampire. The universe is on your side, Bella. Once you gave your life for those boys it became impossible for someone with bad intentions to hurt you. Tallis had bad intentions and as soon as he bit you he turned to dust. The mark that separates these vampires from the rest is their grey eyes along with their unmatched strength. You are very powerful and then to top it off you have a power. It truly is wonderful!"

My mouth had gapped open for most of Aro's speech and I couldn't remember how to close it. I looked over at Aislinn and her expression was the same. Once I cleared my head enough so that I was able to remember how to speak I turned back to Aro.

"You're telling me that if someone tries to hurt me out of wrong intentions that they just turn to dust?"

"Yes, dear one. We would be quite honored if you and Aislinn would consider joining the Volturi guard along with Falyn."

(Present day conversation with Jacob)

"No way!" he yelled, "My little clumsy Bella isn't just a vampire but _the_ most powerful vampire."

"Yeah, Jake but it isn't all it's cracked up to be," I said.

"I know. You couldn't pay me enough to be a leech but if I was going to be one I would be glad if it was like you… So what did you say to his offer?"

"Well I thought about it for a while before telling him that I wanted to spend as much time with Charlie while he was still living, but that I would consider it after I could no longer see him. So I spent the remainder of the year there, perfecting my power until August when I moved back to start at PSU. Aislinn decided to come to school with me but Falyn stayed back with the Volturi."

"Are they bummed that you got all the cool powers?" Jake wouldn't admit it if I asked, but I could really tell he liked my story.

"No. Falyn and Aislinn have more than the ability to shape shift and see memories. Their powers work together. Aislinn can touch someone and see what they are most afraid of, her and Falyn have a kind of telepathic bond through which Aislinn shares the images of what someone is afraid of with Falyn. Once Falyn sees what someone is most afraid of she can transform into that if it is a living thing."

"That's awesome! So if someone is afraid of clowns she can turn into one?"

"Not only can she turn into one but she can turn into the exact image that the person remembers. Once I learned how to project my shield I would put it over them and they would mess with Jane," I said while laughing at the memory.

"What did they do?" He asked with wide eyes.

"Well I put my shield over Aislinn and Falyn and Aislinn rubbed up against Jane to see her memories. Then they both saw that Jane was a human around the times of the Salem witch trials and Aro had saved her from being burned at the stake. Then Aislinn found the perfect memory of Jane's executioner. Even though Aro had saved Jane that memory still haunted her. So Falyn shifted to look like the executioner and would chase Jane around. When she tried to use her power it didn't work because I was shielding them both. It taught Jane a lesson and we laughed about it for months. I even thought I saw a flash of happiness of Marcus' face when we told Aro about it. Jane finally met her match and Falyn got her revenge for Jane using her power on her."

Jake was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of his face. I liked that he was able to be the same carefree Jake that I remembered. It was starting to get dark; I was amazed at how fast time flew by when I was with him.

"I should get back to Aislinn and Charlie; they are probably wondering why I've been gone so long. I'm really glad you don't hate me Jake."

"How could I ever hate my best friend, Bells? Besides you didn't want this fate, you took it as a trade for your brother's lives and that just tells me that you will always be the Bella I know and love. My Bella stands up for what she believes in."

"Thanks Jake. I'll be sure to come by a lot more now. I've missed you so much," I said as I hugged my big, warm best friend.

"I've missed you too, Bells. I'll be sure to let the pack know what happened so they won't attack you like I did when I saw you."

"Thanks, I love you Jake."

"I love you too, Bells."

Then we parted ways, I ran back to my car and drove to Charlie's. I walked in the door and laughed when Aislinn crinkled her nose.

"You smell like wet dog," she joked.

"I know, Jake and I had a long conversation about everything that happened while I was gone." She gave me a nod of understanding then went upstairs to leave me alone with Charlie.

"I'm glad you and Jake talked, Bells. He's been worried about you," Charlie said from the couch.

"I know, Dad. I totally lost track of time, we should be heading back but we'll be visiting a lot more from now on."

We said our goodbyes and took off towards Portland. Aislinn touched her hand to mine and froze for a moment while she absorbed all of my memories.

"I'm glad Jake was so understanding, I was worried he wouldn't and you would be hurt." She whispered.

"So am I. I was worried he wouldn't want to ever see me again."

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**Well I hope you liked Bella's past. Sometimes I felt like it was taking forever to get her story out but I wanted you guys to know everything that happened to her because it will all be important for her future. Now on to the future we go!**

**I would like to once again thank my amazing reviewers: Starlit Tiger, Kaatt, alison94, James018 and Bleached Kitty and everyone that added this story to their favorites or alerted it. Those all really push me to write a good story. I hope it doesn't disappoint!**


	12. Life imitates art

**Aw, the future… it has so much in store for Bella.**

**Playlist: **_**Pardon Me**_** by Incubus and **_**The Strength to Go On**_** by Rise Against**

**_________________________________________________________________________________**

It was now October and the month since my birthday had gone well for the most part. Charlie and I talked more and I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me once I knew Jake was accepting of my new life…or existence, if you want to get technical. Even the rest of the pack was supportive once they heard the story of why I was changed. I had stopped psyching myself out about being around humans, my bloodlust was mostly caused by the fact that I didn't fully trust myself not to hurt humans even though I knew their blood didn't appeal to me so much as their heart beat did. The hard feelings that I felt for the Cullens, well mostly just one of the Cullens, continued ever since that morning at Charlie's when my feelings changed from being sad to being angry. Nevertheless his eyes still haunted me and of course, I only saw his eyes as they appeared to me the day he left. They had that same cold look about them but there was something else, some sliver of something that seemed like they wanted to tell me something. It was probably that the whole thing was a joke to them; I was a joke to them. I guess it's easy to be an actor when one look into your eyes can make a person lose all coherent thoughts.

Aislinn had found a new talent, painting. She absolutely loved her painting class and she was sad every time it ended. She would come home and paint until her class started again the next day. Having seen so many people's memories she never ran out of things to paint. As a surprise she painted me a picture of my now scrap-metal truck. It was one of the best presents I had ever received. Her teacher told her that her work was impressive and he wanted to display a few pieces at her art show tomorrow night. Aislinn was a nervous wreck and I was desperately trying to calm her.

"What if no one likes my paintings? What if everyone hates them?" She gasped.

I rolled my eyes at her for what seemed like the one hundredth time that day, "_Please…_ you know that simply is not a possibility. Your pieces are amazing and you know that as well as I do. Even if someone didn't like your art, so what? Art is subjective, what seems completely wrong to one person might be the greatest muse ever to another. If someone or even everyone hates your art, it isn't that big of a deal… you'll live. Well, uh… you know what I mean."

"Bellaaaaaaaaaaa…" With the look on her face you would assume the world was ending.

"What? You agreed to do it. I don't know what you want me to do. Pretend to be your mom and call you in sick?"

"You'll go with me, right?" she said with her best puppy dog face.

I rolled my eyes, again. "You should save up your puppy dog faces for when you really need them; I'm starting to become immune. I don't know why in the world you think I wouldn't be going… Brendan is coming too." I crossed my fingers and prayed that my last sentence wouldn't make an impact on her because if it did the line of questioning that it resulted in would be draining. I nonchalantly flipped through the magazine I was pretending to be interested and after a few moments of silence I figured I was in the clear. Then I looked up and noticed her standing in front of me, arms crossed and a big smirk on her face. _Aw crap._

"Brendan, as in airport hottie Brendan?" She squealed.

"Your words not mine." I said flatly while flipping through the magazine some more. _Please drop the subject, please._

"So…?"she said, obviously expecting me to continue speaking on the subject. I just turned the page in my magazine. "Bella!"

"What do you want me to say, Aislinn?"

"Well did you invite him as a date?" her eyes were wide with excitement.

"What would that be to him but a poisoned chalice? You know I don't date for one obvious reason and even if I did date I wouldn't date a human," I scoffed.

"Well if you don't want to be annoyed by me jumping to conclusions then you should just open up when I ask you about something, huh?" she replied.

I raised an eyebrow at her, "Well, someone is a crotchety girl today, isn't she?"

"Crotchety? You're using _my_ words to imply that I'm snarky or… cranky?" she said as she feigned annoyance.

"Last time I checked you didn't invent the word and you hadn't trademarked it. I wasn't _implying_ that you were being snarky; I was directly saying that you were being snarky," I said while I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Sorry. You know how this show has me on edge. So what _is_ the deal with you and Brendan then?"

"Well, I wrote him a few times when we were in Volterra and once we got back I sent him another letter with my phone number and he called me the other day. I didn't have much that I could actually talk to him about because of the whole 'me being a vampire' secret so I talked to him about school, you and your art show. He asked if he could come and I said of course he could."

The look on her face reeked of disappointment. "Well that isn't very exciting or juicy."

"I never claimed that it was."

"Now who is being _crotchety_?" she said with a smirk. "If I didn't know better I would swear that you were nervous about seeing Brendan…"

I gave her a warning glance, "Yes, you caught me. I am nervous about being surrounded by what is meant to be my natural food source and about all the questions about my appearance I will get from him."

She acted like I didn't say anything and a moment later she was smiling again. "We should go shopping."

"Oh great, just what I want to do with my free time."

In all actuality I didn't loathe shopping like I used to but you wouldn't catch me telling Aislinn that, she was almost as bad as Alice… almost. When you take a girl from a small town, put her in a big city with an overabundance of designer clothing stores and hand her a Black card you're lucky if everyone makes it out with all of their appendages. Going with Aislinn to designer stores wasn't that bad, once you had been there they kept a record of what kind of things you like and would basically shop for you, I liked that. We were done within a few hours, after Aislinn was convinced we had the perfect ensembles for the art show. I tried not to be too much of a pain, this was her time. The rest of the day flowed smoothly into the next and before we knew it there were just a few hours until the show. We hunted and then spent the rest of the time getting ready.

"Here put these on," Aislinn said as she handed me a pair of black frame glasses similar to the ones she was putting on.

"What are these for? Do you not get the whole better than perfect vision thing?"

"They don't have a prescription on them, Bella. Wearing glasses will make it harder for people to notice how crazy looking our eyes are and they'll tone down the sexiness that is oozing off of you."

I looked her up and down; she was wearing a short green dress that looked like it was made to match her every curve and complimented her hair, skin and eye colors completely. "Sexiness that is oozing off of _me_? You've got to be kidding! I'm wearing a black skirt and a grey shirt; it's the most basic outfit you would let me get!"

"Bella look at yourself in the mirror, would you? You're wearing a tight fitting black pencil skirt and a pretty grey blouse that matches your eyes and highlights your curves. With the killer heels I got us you're going to look beyond sexy. Glasses will tone that down unless anyone there has a hot librarian or teacher fetish," she said with a smirk.

"You're really pushing it. I don't want to look like a hot anything. I want to look like Bella that dressed up because the event called for it, not because she wants to. I don't get why the glasses have to be designer if they are meant to tone everything down," I groaned.

"No matter what we dress in you know every set of eyes will be on us. It's just our nature," she said matter-of-factly.

"Well you don't need to encourage nature."

We finished arguing, I put on the black four-inch heels that would have landed me in the hospital a minute after putting them on if I was human, and we made our way to the show. We were early so that Aislinn could talk to her teacher before it started but there was already a significant amount of people in the big building. We made our way over to an odd looking man with straight shoulder-length brown hair and a bright yellow shirt.

"Hi Mr. Gee." Aislinn said sweetly.

"Hey there is my star pupil!" He said while hugging her. If she wasn't such a talented painter I would have sworn that he put her work in his show because he was attracted to her. Who could blame a mortal for falling for a vampire though? It was what we were created to do.

"Mr. Gee this is my sister, Bella," she said motioning towards me.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Gee," I said flatly.

"Please, call me Bud. It's very nice to meet you too, Bella." _Bud Gee? Are you kidding me? _I had to hold back my laughter and Aislinn shot me a 'don't you dare mess this up for me' glance.

"I'm going to go check out the pieces and leave you two to talk," I said before turning and walking away as quickly as I could without attracting attention. I opened my little pamphlet they gave us at the entrance and went to the first piece. I immediately knew why this was so important to Aislinn, Mr. Gee's… I mean, _Bud's_ art was really good. With my new vision it was hard to not find the flaws in something, especially art. I could see where someone re-touched or were someone's hand got shaky and there were slight imperfections but I didn't have to struggle against myself to keep from finding flaws in these pieces, they were flawless, perfect. I had completely zoned out while looking at a painting of a mother and child, I was debating with myself on whether or not Bud had modeled the mother in the painting after Aislinn when someone behind me whispered in my ear, "Love of beauty is Taste. The creation of beauty is art."

I turned around to see Brendan standing in front of me, in the now packed building, smiling. I was surprised at how different he looked to me. He was cleaned up, in a dress shirt and slacks but that wasn't it. Like many things I had seen in the past year, it was as though I was seeing him for the first time. His good looks only increased with the clarity of my vision. I didn't doubt that if he was ever an immortal he would match Rosalie in beauty.

I lifted and eye brow at him and smiled, "Ralph Waldo Emerson fan?"

He had a surprised look on his face but his smile grew even wider and his dimples became even more prominent, "You knew that?"

"I have a lot of free time," I said shyly and he pulled me into a hug. I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to breathe if I was still human. His heart was beating strongly and it was making venom pool into my mouth. I hadn't taken a breath since before Aislinn and I entered the building, I just made my chest slightly rise and fall, and I was now out of air from my small conversations with Bud and Brendan. I usually didn't hold my breath around humans because the smell of their blood wasn't ever that appetizing but it instances like this, with hundreds of humans all in one place I didn't want to take too many chances. I took a breath and immediately Brendan's scent overwhelmed my senses and set my throat on fire. I had never smelled anything like it and it took every ounce of self control I had not to kill him as he released me from the hug.

"You look so different!" he said while looking me up and down. "Did you get contacts?"

I shook my head no. I didn't want to use up the air that I had just taken in. I wouldn't risk breathing again when it was gone.

"How are your eyes so different if you didn't get contacts?"

"I told you in the letter I woke up one day and I was different. My appearance was part of that." _Crap._ I was almost out of air. "Can you wait here for a sec? I have to go get something out of my car."

"Sure I'll be right here," he said with a smile. I quickly walked towards the exit and made sure Aislinn saw the pained look on my face. Her eyes got wide and I heard her try to escape from the conversation she was in. Once I was out of the building I ran at a human pace towards the car. It still probably looked weird to see a girl running full speed in four inch heels but I didn't care. I got into the car and took in all of the fresh air that I could, a moment later Aislinn joined me.

"What happened?" she looked beyond worried.

"I hadn't been breathing, just in case someone's blood appealed to me. Well then Brendan came and I had to breathe to talk to him so I took in a breath while he was hugging me and I nearly killed him right there…in front all of those people. It was so stupid of me, I could have hurt him."

"Do you think that his blood was appealing because you were so close and you hadn't smelled all the humans around or do you think his blood is especially good smelling to you?"

"I-I'm not sure," I stuttered. "It could've been because I was so close to him and his heart as well as the fact that I hadn't gotten used to the smell of humans in the room."

"Well I have to go back; Mr. Gee said that a few people were interested in my pieces. I didn't think anyone would want to buy them so we haven't discussed it yet. I have to negotiate a price with the buyers in an hour. I was going to ask you to be there with me during it but maybe you should stay here."

"Are you serious? They want to buy your pieces? That is amazing!" I said as I embraced her. "I want to be there with you. Let's go back in. I'll take it slow and let my body get used to all the human smells before I go back up to Brendan."

"Ok, if you think you can handle it. I still want to meet him but maybe I should wait. I don't want to ruin tonight by killing a human in front of my buyers," she said with a chuckle but I knew she was serious.

We made our way back to the building; Aislinn gave my hand an encouraging squeeze before dancing off into the crown. I took deep breaths, letting the scent of humans and their blood saturate my senses. Once I was accustomed to it and sure I wasn't going to kill anyone I walked toward were I had left Brendan only a few minutes ago. I saw him a moment before his scent reached me. It was strong and the venom pooled up in my mouth again but it was bearable. I walked up behind him and stopped in my tracks when I saw the painting he was looking at. It was of me, laying in the meadow but it wasn't an image from my memories; Aislinn had put her own twist on it. The meadow was mostly dark and almost scary looking but there were a few rays of brilliant sunshine landing on half of my face. The eye on the side of my face that was being illuminated by the sun was grey and the one in the shadows was red. I was a little irked that she didn't tell me about this painting but it was so good. I leaned forward smoothly so my mouth was a few inches from Brendan's ear and I whispered, "The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."

He spun around and smiled like he had earlier. "Aristotle? I'm impressed," the look on his face was proof of what he said. "You had me worried that you were ditching me."

"Sorry… I had to get my phone and then talk to Aislinn. A few people are going to place offers on her pieces and she wants me to be there for support."

"It's ok, I'm just glad you're back. This is one of hers, right?"

"Yeah, she didn't let me see any of the pieces she was using and now I know why," I said, slightly embarrassed.

"I think it's beautiful, absolutely amazing," he said looking into my eyes.

"Well I'll tell her you said that, she'll be pleased."

"I wasn't just referring to the painting," he mumbled while turning around to look at it again. If I was human I wouldn't have heard it so I pretended not to. This friendship would never go in that direction for a few reasons. We spent the next hour looking at the paintings together and quizzing each other on quotes until Aislinn came up to us with an unsure expression on her face.

"Hi, I'm Aislinn," she said while sticking her hand out for Brendan to shake. I watched her take in a small breath and then smile in the realization that she wasn't going to have any stronger urge to kill him than any other human she had met.

"It's great to finally meet you Aislinn, I'm Brendan," he replied.

"Bella, do you still want to come with me to talk to the buyers?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course."

"Do you have any offers on that dark meadow painting, Aislinn?" Brendan asked. _Oh for the love of God please don't tell me he wants to buy it._

"Just one," she said, "Are you interested in buying it?"

"Yes, I'm absolutely in love with it," he said smoothly. _Perfect. _I rolled my eyes at him and he just smiled. It was exactly the kind of thing Jake would have done. _First Emmet now Jake? Great what guy in my life will he take after next? Well I know of one that he could never come close to. _Aislinn grabbed my hand and motioned for us to follow her. She was leading us towards a door in the back of the building that I was guessing held an office or two. A second before we got to the door my phone rang. I looked down at my phone and I guess the look on my face mirrored my confusion because Aislinn stopped dead in her tracks.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's Jake; I don't know why he is calling so late. I should take this…are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah I'll be ok. Just come in when you are finished. I might need your help breaking up a fight between Brendan and the lady that wants to buy the same painting. Mr. Gee said she was very adamant about having it," she said while nudging Brenda in the ribs playfully. He didn't take his eyes off of me though and he had a slightly worried expression on his face. I gave him and encouraging smile as Aislinn pulled him through the door. I contemplated running through the crowd in a blur so I could go outside and answer Jake's call but I decided it was quiet enough inside to talk to him.

"Hey, Jake, what's up I'm at Aislinn's art show," I said.

"I know, Bells but there is some important stuff I need to talk to you about," he said, slightly out of breath. He had obviously been running.

"Is everyone ok, is Charlie ok?" I asked, panicked.

"Yeah, Charlie is alright. He's over here with Billy watching the game right now… but I've been meaning to talk to you about that red-headed leech."

"JACOB BLACK!" I hissed, "don't refer to Aislinn as a-"

"No, Bells, not her… the bloodsucker that you said was trying to get you before you left."

"Victoria…" I whispered. What was she doing in Forks? Was she still after me? Did she know I was a vampire? Would she try to get Charlie now that she couldn't hurt me?

"Yeah, Victoria, that's her name. Anyways, I forgot to mention to you before that she came around every couple of months after you left. We are pretty sure that she was checking to see if you were home…don't worry we keep a good eye on Charlie. Well we found her scent last night, all around your house and she wasn't alone. I snuck in to see if she was still in there but she wasn't. Her smell wasn't inside but the other leech that she was with had been in your room. We followed their trail and it took us toward Seattle but then shot up north towards Canada. Most of the pack is still hunting her but Quil, Embry and I came back down to protect Forks and to let you know to be on guard."

If I had blood it would be boiling. There had been a carnivorous vampire in my house just feet away from an unsuspecting Charlie and it was because of me. "Thank you, Jake. Please tell everyone to be careful, I don't want anyone getting hurt me cause of me," he scoffed, I continued, "I know you guys are fully capable of handling yourselves but still. If she gets anywhere near Forks please have someone call me and I will be there as soon as possible. I don't care if someone even thinks that she might have an instinct of maybe going there, I want to know regardless. Aislinn and I will be up tomorrow to discuss things with you and the pack."

"Alright, Bells. Try not to worry too much tonight, have some fun. Charlie is safe in La Push right now and I'll watch him personally tonight."

"You are the best friend anyone could ever have, Jake. I love you. Make sure you get some sleep," I warned, jokingly.

"Yeah you be sure to get some sleep too Bells, you look almost dead when you don't. Ha-Ha. I love you too."

"Funny, Jake. Bye."

I couldn't help but smile as I walked back towards the office where Aislinn's new found dream was coming true. Jake really was a great friend and his always calm demeanor made everything so much better to deal with. The Victoria situation wasn't something to be taken lightly though, she had been too close to Charlie and I couldn't let that happen again. I opened to door and gasped when the smell in the air told me there was another vampire in the room besides Aislinn and me. I looked up to see Aislinn standing next to her painting and Mr. Gee. She was staring at me with a worried expression, like she wanted to warn me of something but couldn't leave the room to do so. Sitting down in front of her and next to Brendan, who was staring at me a little too deeply, was a face that I never thought I would see again. It held a look of…_sorrow and longing_? Prickling thorns stuck into my sides as memories came flooding back to me. Then my new found emotion, anger, found its way back into me and I pushed the memories away.

"ALICE CULLEN?" I growled.

"Hi Bella," she spoke softly and with a hint of a melancholy tone.

**_______________________________________________________________________________**

**I promised you that the future would have much excitement, did I not? Look at that two, count 'em, TWO familiar faces. :) Don't you feel bad that Brendan seems to be falling for Bella but has no chance of being anything more than a friend or dinner to her? I sure do.**

**I would like to thank all of my amazing reviewers as well as everyone that has taken the time to read my story, alert it, add it to their favorites or add me to their favorites. You people are amazing. I totally lost track of whose reviews I replied to and whose I didn't so I am very sorry if I didn't get a reply to you. I didn't want to reply twice to everyone and totally creep you guys out. Please feel free to yell and/or curse at me if I didn't get to you. I promise it will not make me love you any less.**

**This is chapter 12 (FYI I don't think that this story is anywhere near half way done with all the things I've planned for it) and it seems like a good time to take a moment and list all of the wonderful people that have reviewed… Bleached kitty(x10), Kaatt(x4), Spider-Hand (x4), Starlit Tiger (x3), alison94, James018, omg444888(x3), Yana5(x4), Kenai52503(x2), maligurl, 19Twilighter19, Nicki Nick, bunny-trail, xXBee BeeXx, twilightnewmooneclispelova, and Divepup.**

**Sorry for blabbing, the next chapter will be up soon and you will find out why Alice is back!**


	13. Old friends

**There were some absolutely awesome reviews for the last chapter and I would like to say thank you so very much to everyone that left them. You put a big huge smile on my face. I'm so, so sorry about the cliff hanger! I'll try not to do that anymore but I'm making no promises. The chap was over 4,000 words and 10 pages long on MS word, it had to end somewhere! **

**Playlist: **_**Seein' Red**_** by Unwritten Law and **_**Hairline Fracture**_** by Rise Against**

**_____________________________________________________________________________**

_This isn't happening, not now. No, for Christ's sake not now! _I was doing so well, getting on fine without them in my life or existence or whatever you want to call it. Alice's eyes were full of emotion, she was clearly in pain. I felt the urge to run into her arms and tell her how much I've missed her but my anger reminded me that she was probably just upset that she had to be in the same room as me.

"Bella…" she whispered.

"No Alice, we aren't doing this now. You aren't ruining my sister's dream day like you ruined my life," I hissed as I took a seat next to Brendan, who was clearly confused by the sudden shift in moods. He reached over and grabbed my hand, as if to tell me everything was going to be ok. I was surprised that he hadn't flinched away from my cold touch at all tonight. I already knew that one day he would be another person I could say was one of my best friends. I peeked out of the corner of my eye at Alice, she was staring at Brendan and my interlaced hands and then shifted her stare at me. She obviously had thousands of questions she wanted to ask me, probably ranging from where I got my outfit to why I was a vampire and why I looked so different, but in the few seconds since I walked through that door I made up my mind that I wouldn't be speaking to Alice or any of the other Cullens. Shouldn't she have been able to see the answers to all those questions before they even happened anyways?

Bud was explaining something about the paintings` to Alice, Brendan and a few other people in the room I had failed to notice. There were two older people that looked to be together but not dating and another middle aged woman. Aislinn was glancing back and forth between Alice and I. Checking to see if I was ok and then glaring daggers at Alice and probably contemplating whether or not she should lunge at her here and now. I gave her a nod to tell her I was ok and mouthed 'ignore her.' She looked at me and then to the door as if to tell me that I could go if I needed to. I rolled my eyes, she's always such a mother. She needed me here more than I needed to escape so I focused all my energy on listening to Bud.

"Ok, Brendan," he said, "would you like to start with your negotiating price for this piece?"

Brendan looked at me as if to ask how much would be a good amount to offer and I shrugged. It didn't really matter to Aislinn. We didn't need any money and she was just glad someone wanted to buy it at all. He looked to her and she shrugged as well. "Five hundred dollars?"

"I'll offer one thousand dollars," Alice quickly countered. So she was the other buyer interested in the painting of me. _Why?_ I gave her the meanest glare I could, the hairs on the arms of the humans in the room, besides Brendan's, rose. She stared back at me with sad eyes.

"Ok then I'd like to offer one thousand five hundred dollars," Brendan said. I looked at him with wide eyes; he does not want to get in a bidding war with a Cullen.

"Brendan…" I whispered, "That girl has more money than anyone could ever dream of having and I doubt she'll give in. If you want I'll have Aislinn paint you something special. I'm sure she'd like that."

"Bella," he whispered back, "I don't work at the airport because I have to, if I didn't have a job I'd go crazy and I never fail to have an interesting day at the airport. I'm more successful than I let people on to."

"I wasn't implying you didn't have money, I was just stating that I know for a fact that girl has loads of it to throw around as she pleases-"

As if to prove my point Alice spoke "ten thousand dollars." She had obviously heard our small conversation and was using what I said to her advantage. _So typical, Alice. _Mr. Gee, I mean Bud, almost yelped with glee when she said that. Aislinn was still glaring at her, this time probably contemplating whether or not she wanted a picture of me in Alice's hands. Brendan gave me a questioning glance, I had to do something to stop this and get out of here.

"Aislinn is still getting a lot better with her art. I'm sure if you wait a couple weeks you could get a much better picture. I'm not really feeling well; I'm going to go out to the car. Will you come with me?" I said as I gave him my best puppy dog face. I could see him caving in before my eyes. Being a vampire had its perks and being able to 'dazzle' was one of them.

"Of course I'll go with you," he whispered. "She can take it," he said in a louder voice to Bud. I got up, walked over to Aislinn, hugged her and gave her a kiss, transferring the memory of Jacob's call in the process. She nodded at me and I made my way out of the room quickly, making sure to glare at Alice in the process. 'You're not welcome here' is what I was trying to say. She glanced back and forth between Aislinn and I, she looked…_jealous_?

"A Lamborghini? Isn't that a little ostentatious?" he said with a smirk when we reached the car. _So much for what I said about him never being like Edward._

"Yeah just a little," I said sarcastically. "That is why I hardly drive it. Aislinn wanted to make an impression tonight."

"I see. It makes sense now; it really doesn't seem like your style at all to drive something like this."

"Well it wasn't my idea to drive it tonight but I did buy it. Not for the looks, of course. Just for my new found love of driving fast. It helps me kind of escape. I can focus all of my attention on the road instead of my problems."

"So do you want to talk about what was bugging you in there or do you want to drive and just forget about it."

"I can't leave Aislinn," I said with a sigh.

"Alright, do you want to talk about it then?" he asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

I thought it over. I couldn't tell Brendan everything, but the weird thing was that I _wanted _to. I wanted us to be friends with no secrets but I didn't know how he would react, and if the Volturi was aware that he knew then it wouldn't be good. I decided on telling him what I could. "Well that call I got was from my best friend Jake, the one from La Push I told you about. Well this girl that… well, _hates_ me, is back in Forks starting trouble. He said he had the situation under control but I'm still worried. Then I walked in the room and well there sat Alice Cullen."

"Cullen as in your ex boyfriend Cullen?" he said with a hint of worry and anger appearing on his face.

"Yes, she's Edward's sister and someone who I thought was my best friend at one point," I said sadly.

He pulled me into a hug and rested my head in his chest protectively. _How Ironic_. "I'm so sorry, Bella. It must be hard to see her. Why is she here?"

He smelled so good and there were little burning flickers in my throat but I still kept my head submerged in his chest. As odd as it was, it did feel like he was protecting me. Not physically, of course, but having him there was definitely taking my mind off of the bad things. "I don't know why she is here or why the hell she wants that painting." I admitted.

"Well I don't know your sister very well but she looked like she wanted to kill Alice," he chuckled.

"You have no idea. Aislinn feels as hurt as I do about what the Cullens did and she feels very protective of me. She is very motherly."

He was now looking into my eyes, almost studying me. "You seem like the kind of person that doesn't want to be protected by anyone, though," he said quietly.

"I am, usually. With certain people it is a different case though," I said while shying away from his gaze and looking towards the ground. "Aislinn knows I can take care of myself; it's just her instinct to act like that. I don't mind and even if I did I wouldn't say anything. She needed someone to take care of after what happened to our brothers. Besides, everyone needs to be protected in one way or another at some point, even if they don't want to admit it."

Brendan and I spent what seemed like years talking about anything and everything. I was surprised at how interesting his life was. We had gotten to know each other pretty well through the various letters we wrote to each other but it was nothing compared to this. His dad, grandpa and uncles owned the biggest law firm in Seattle and he was in his last year of law school. He worked at the airport because his friend's dad was in charge of security there and needed more people. His favorite things to do were play Spanish acoustic guitar, read and bake.

"You like to bake?" I said while raising an eyebrow at him and stifling a laugh. I couldn't imagine this brawny guy wearing an apron and frosting cupcakes.

"Yeah, try not to hurt yourself while keeping that laugh in," he said with a smile. "My mom owns a little bakery because baking is her favorite thing to do. Growing up she would always have me help her. So I guess baking reminds me of my mom, and I like that. It doesn't hurt to get some good food in the process either."

"Well that's better explanation than I thought you would have, it's actually very _sweet_."

"Oh you're hilarious, Bella. You never told me you were a standup comic," he said sarcastically.

I shifted my focus onto the group of people that were now coming out of the building. Bud and the three other people made their way out but Aislinn and Alice were nowhere to be seen.

"Crap. I have to go check on Aislinn and make sure she isn't fighting with Alice," I told Brendan.

"Do you want me to go with you? I could help you break up the fight."

_Yeah, sure you could. I'm sure there is no quicker way to ruin a guy's ego than having him try to break up a girl fight and fail miserably._ I chuckled at my thought. "No it's kind of something I have to do by myself. You don't have to wait here though you can go home."

He debated for a moment before speaking. "I should go home; I'm helping my mom out at the bakery tomorrow. Will you call me when you get back from taking care of whatever is happening in Forks?"

"Of course I will," I said with a smile. He hugged me and then made his way over to his car. _A Bentley? And he said my care was ostentatious? _As soon as Brendan was out of view my good mood disappeared and anger took its place. I ran through the building and into the office in a flash only to find Alice and Aislinn circling each other. Aislinn lunged at Alice with full force but Alice moved aside at exactly the right moment.

"I already told you Aislinn, I don't want to hurt you but you are pushing it," Alice said with a growl.

"Aislinn, give it up. You can't beat someone that sees the future," I said holding my hand out for her to take. She growled at Alice and then came over and took my hand.

"Bella, I'm so sor-" Alice started to say but I cut her off.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say Alice," I hissed.

"What do you want from her Alice?" Aislinn questioned, her voice dripping with fury. "You ruined her life and you have no business being here. I've seen her memories; I've seen how happy she once was. She hasn't been like that since you and your family left her. Now she has finally been making progress and you have to show up here."

"I…_we _didn't mean for it to be like this, Bella. We didn't want to leave; we thought it was best for you. We wanted you to be safe and obviously that backfired. If I had known then I would have put my foot down and told Edw-"

"You are going to sit here and tell me that you, Alice Cullen, who can see the future, had no idea about any of this? You're insulting my intelligence by even thinking for a second that I would believe such an obvious lie," I yelled. Well, I suppose it was more of a growl.

"She sees memories, right? Well then have her see mine," Alice said, sticking her hand out for Aislinn to take it. Aislinn looked at me and I gave her a nod. She glared again at Alice and then touched her hand for a second before gasping and taking her hand away. I knew immediately it was too short of a time for her to see every memory of the past few years. Alice and I were both staring at Aislinn whose eyes were wide with terror.

"Well, did you see my proof?" Alice finally asked impatiently. Aislinn glared at her once again.

"No, I didn't get that far because I saw your vision about Victoria. When were you going to tell us about that? People that Bella and I care about are in danger and you just sat here for hours without telling us?"

"Because I'm going to help you, I had to see Bella and apologize first," Alice said.

"Do you want to fill me in Aislinn?" I asked, still not trusting Alice.

"Our little friend here saw a vision of a bunch of newborns roaming around Seattle and then coming to Forks tomorrow!" She yelled.

I turned to Alice and my anger almost got the best of me. "Don't you think I could have used this information a bit earlier, Alice? I could have made Charlie get on a plane so he would be safe and we could have come up with a plan with the pack," I spat. _She ruined my life the least she could do is warn me in time of my family being in danger._

"I didn't want you to be fighting so many newborns by yourself. I had no idea you were changed at all until I saw that vision. I had to come and help. You have to be able to trust me for me to be able to do that though," she said as she took a step towards me and held out her hands like she wanted a hug.

"I don't trust you at all. You can't trust someone that you don't know, and I don't know who Alice Cullen is. All I know is that she wasn't who I thought she was. I don't need or want your help, I have a pack of werewolves, the Volturi and my sister on my side. I don't need to be worried about snakes in the grass. If you want to make up what you did to me then do me the favor of staying away from me and my family." I tightened my grip on Aislinn's hand and we ran to the car, not bothering to listen to what Alice was yelling to us as we ran, she had said enough. I didn't need Aislinn to see her memories for me to know what went on. I took off in a flash and was never happier that I had bought this car. I was easily going 140 mph and the 250 mile drive to Forks would take less than 2 hours.

"So what exactly was in Alice's vision? I mean every detail, we can't overlook anything."

"There were three visions but only two had Victoria in it. The first one was her in Seattle, changing person after person and authorities in Seattle were thinking they had serial killers on their hands. The second was Victoria and a boyish looking vampire in Charlie's house, grabbing things that you touched last time we were there. The third was about twenty newborn vampires coming towards a Forks but Victoria wasn't with them."

This was big, much, much too big. Too many people were going to get hurt and I had to do something about it. I picked up my phone and dialed Jake's number.

"Bella?" he answered, sounding very tired.

"Hey Jake, I have a huge problem and it's all because of Victoria. I'm on my way up to Forks now but we need to get Billy, Charlie and everyone else on a Plane immediately. Everyone is in a lot of danger."

"Why?" he sounded more awake now. "What's going on Bells?"

"Victoria created a bunch of newborns and they are on their way to Forks. You and everyone else need to get out of there."

"I'm going to call together the pack. How long until you are here?" I could hear the angry growls rising in his throat.

"Half an hour."

"Ok meet me at my house. Bye."

Could this really be happening? Everyone I care about, apart from Falyn is in danger and it's all because of me. I had no intentions of letting anything bad happen to anyone. Tomorrow would be the final day of my existence, I was sure of that much. However I wasn't sure that giving up my existence would save the lives of everyone I care about. It was all I could give but I didn't know that it would be enough. I looked over to Aislinn, who was touching my hand, looking through my memories.

"What are you looking at? Haven't you seen all my memories yet?" I asked while not taking my attention off the road.

"I'm studying everything about Victoria. Analyzing how she moves should help me in the fight."

"No, Aislinn. I won't have you fighting her, or anyone else for that matter. Didn't you say that Alice's vision didn't have Victoria in it?" I asked. How could she think that I would let her be in danger?

"Didn't you tell me that Alice's visions can change? I'm going to help you, Bella. There is nothing you can say to stop me," she said with a huff.

We spent the rest of the ride to La Push arguing. My last day on Earth wasn't going to be an easy one.

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**Omg what's going to happen? Will Alice do what Bella says and leave her alone? Will Aislinn ever see all of Alice's memories so that they can know why the Cullens really left? :) Hmmm…. We'll have to wait and see!**

**Thank you to all of you who left me awesome reviews for the last chapter: Kenai52503, Yana5, Bleached Kitty, Spider-Hand, Starlit Tiger and deepcutfighter. To my anonymous reviewer 'a friend', no, dear I don't want you to kill yourself in anticipation. Please live and keep reading. I promise to update as soon as I am able to. :) **


	14. Choose wisley

**Oh just an FYI don't post your new chapter when you haven slept for over 24 hours. haha. Sorry about accidently re-posting. Here is the REAL chapter 14.**

**Though this is a story about mythical creatures, I very much live in reality. Because I live in reality I understand that not everything goes right. If you are too used to S. Meyer's inability to have anything tragic happen to anyone or have someone good die then this chapter is not for you. **

**Playlist: **_**Worth Dying for**_** by Rise Against, **_**Rumors of my Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated**_** by Rise Against and **_**The Remembrance Ballad**_** by Atreyu **

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Even under the cover of darkness the forest along the road outside of Forks was so recognizable. It was hard to believe that this would be the last time I would see it. The quiet hum of my Lamborghini slowed as I let Aislinn out of the car before making my way to La Push. She convinced me to let her find the clearing that she had seen the newborns running through on their way to find us. I would meet them there, alone but she wanted to help in any way I would allow her. My unnecessary breaths quickened as I made the familiar drive to La Push. I parked in front of Jacob's house and nearly laughed at how out of place my car looked here. Billy came to the door and told me that the pack was down at the beach and I told him to get some sleep. I ran down to the beach in a flash to find the whole pack there, more than I had known there were. I counted ten half naked human bodies glowing in the moonlight.

Jake ran over to me and pulled me in a hug, we both hardly flinched at the extreme differences in each other's temperatures. Half of the pack was looking at me strangely but Quil, Embry, Seth and Sam all seemed completely at ease with me there.

"Where is your sister? I want to meet her," Jacob said as he released me from the hug.

"She's upset that I won't let her fight and fought with me to let her do something to help. So she is finding out where I'm going to meet the newborns."

"You mean where _we_ are meeting the newborns," he said matter-of-factly.

_Does he really think I will let anyone else be put in harm's way? This is my battle, no one else's. _"No, Jake. I mean where I, as in I Bella Swan and no one else, am going to meet the newborns. I already told you that you should get out of here, even though I know you want to stay and protect La Push."

"Bells, you aren't doing this alone. This kind of thing is why we exist. We've been trying to get that Red-head for years now and it's about time we did."

"She isn't going to be there, Jake," I explained, "She created the newborns but she won't be fighting with them, or at least Alice's vision didn't show her fighting with them, it could change though."

"Alice Cullen?!" he growled, "That pathetic leech's sister? What the hell is she doing back?"

"She isn't back. She showed up to Aislinn's art show right after you called. Aislinn touched her and saw her visions. Alice said that she came to help and to apologize. I told her to get lost."

"Good, the last thing we need is them to come back on top of the new bloodsuckers. Tell us everything," he said while taking a seat on a log next to Sam. Everyone stared at me intently.

"Aislinn saw three of Alice's visions. One was of Victoria creating the newborns in Seattle. The second was of Victoria and another vampire in my house taking things that I touched last time I was here, which is why you caught her scent. The third was of twenty or so newborns in a clearing, on their way to Forks."

Jacob stood up quickly and stood right in front of me, staring into my eyes with disbelief. "You think that we are going to let you fight twenty newborns by yourself?" he growled.

I stared back into his eyes, showing him that I wasn't about to budge. No one else would lose their life and I would be sure of that. "I don't think you are, I _know_ you are. I'm doing this by myself, I have plan and I'm not changing my mind."

Jakes breathing was getting louder and his hand started trembling. "Why don't you share your great plan with us then, Bella?" he said through clenched teeth. Jake could be as mad at me as he wants but he needs to be alive to feel that way.

"Well, I already told you about what the Volturi said I was. No one with bad intentions is supposed to be able to hurt me."

"And you plan on testing this theory out with twenty crazy leeches trying to get you?!" he yelled, he was shaking harder now. Sam got up and put a hand on Jake's shoulder to calm him down. Jake clenched his fists and sat back down on the log, trying to keep from phasing.

"Bella," Sam started, "Jake told us you were a different vampire, special and powerful but we don't know the details. Would you share this with the rest of the pack?"

"Of course," I appreciated Sam's ability to not let his feelings control this situation. "I was bitten because I sacrificed myself so that two boys, whom I had considered my little brothers, would live. The Volturi, who I lived with after I was changed, taught me a lot like how to fight and how to use my power. They also told me that I was different; there is a myth that when a person knows about vampires and then gives their life to one so that someone else can live, that person becomes a powerful vampire. In addition to my ability to shield from other's mental powers I'm stronger and faster than any vampire. The Volturi also told me that it is impossible for anyone with bad intentions to hurt me. The vampire that changed me became dust moments after he bit me." Everyone was looking back and forth at each other, obviously excited about what I had said and the upcoming fight.

Jacob let out a growl and everyone became still. "She doesn't know for sure if it will work though. Bella, didn't you tell me that what's her name…oh, Jane! Yeah that's it, Jane. Didn't you tell me that she tried to use her power on you?" The whole packed looked at Jake and then to me.

"Jane's power doesn't kill you or even harm you; it only makes you think you are in pain. I blocked out her power completely so it was as if she wasn't even attacking me. If she lunged at my throat then I'm sure she would turn into dust," I said. The pack looked to Jake, waiting for him to counter my argument before they started getting excited again. He took a moment and thought before speaking.

"It doesn't matter. We don't know for sure if you will be able to fight all of the newborns so we will fight as well."

"No!" I yelled, looking at Sam, begging him to convince Jacob not to let them fight. Sam was no longer the Alpha, Jake was but Jake took anything Sam said seriously.

Sam looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Bella but I agree. You don't know if your power will save you from all of those newborns. We must fight."

"There has to be another way," I whispered.

"We have to be prepared, Bella," Sam said while placing his massive hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes. "We must do this; will you teach us the best way to fight these newborns?"

"I'll teach you to fight them on one condition," I said, he nodded. "You will let me fight the newborns by myself; you can wait in the nearby woods and fight if I am unable to or die."

"No way in hell, Bella," Jacob said.

Sam nodded to me and then turned to Jacob. "Jake, we need to be there and I think that this is fair. What if these newborns get past her? The safety of the people in La Push will be in our hands, we need to know how to fight them."

Jake nodded his head but he was almost uncontrollably shaking.

I stood so I was in the center of the whole pack. "Newborns aren't like other vampires. They are children in a way. They won't have any skill or strategy, only brute strength and savagery. They won't be trying anything subtle, just a very straightforward attack, going right for the kill. Be sure to watch your sides, that's where they will try attacking. Does anyone want to volunteer to fight me so I can demonstrate how a newborn attacks?" Leah Clearwater stood up and I saw Jacob roll his eyes. I had already learned how Leah hated me, not because of anything I did, just because of what I was. She blamed vampires for cursing her to the life of a werewolf. _This should be interesting._ Leah ran into the trees and came back in her wolf form. We walked a couple yards so that the rest of the pack wouldn't be in the way. Light was less an hour away and the newborns would be here soon after, this lesson would have to be quick.

Leah crouched in anticipation, I nodded and rushed at her at the speed a normal vampire would have. She darted to the side and we began to circle each other. I attacked her straight from the front a few more times before mixing it up. I ran straight like I had in my other attacks but right as Leah went to dash to the side I jumped over her so that I was behind her and quickly moved to her side, my teeth were at her throat in an instant, before she even knew what was going on. She grumbled and the rest of the pack made their way over.

"That was crazy!" Seth said to me.

"The newborns are extremely powerful, if I was one of them Leah would have either been killed or all the bones on the left side of her body would have been broken. This is why I don't want you guys to fight. Some of them might have powers on top of their strength but their ferocity and inability to control their selves is their Achilles heel. Don't underestimate them-" I was cut off by my phone ringing; Aislinn.

"Hey Aislinn, where are you?"

"I'm in the clearing, I remember it from your memories, it's where the Cullens played baseball," she said.

"Oh great, go figure my showdown with Victoria would be where I first met her. Are you coming down to La Push?"

"No I'm going to stay here so I can call you if they come early. Did the pack leave?"

"No, Jake refused to leave. They wanted to fight but we came to an agreement that they would fight only if I was unable to or dead."

"I should have known. I'm going to fight too if I don't think you can handle it. They'll be here soon, you should head up," she sighed.

"I'm on my way," I said and then hung up.

"Jake, I'm going to the clearing now. I still advise that all of you stay here."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Not a chance, Bells."

"Ok. Remember our agreement though. My sister will be there but I've told her not to fight. She has auburn hair and gold eyes, be sure you don't confuse her with Victoria or any of the newborns."

The whole pack nodded in agreement. Jake pulled me into a hug. "I love you, Bells. Be careful. If you need help just ask and we will be there."

"I love you too Jake. I won't be asking for your help. You know I can't do that." I kissed his cheek and then ran off through the woods towards the clearing. The sun was shining beautifully through the trees and the mist. Running usually cleared my mind just as driving did but not today. Today my stone-like stomach was in knots. Something horrible was going to happen in the next few hours that may very well cause my demise but that wasn't the cause of my anxiety. I had a feeling that no matter what I did someone besides myself would get hurt. I ran faster, pushing myself to run past the trees and over the rocks at top speed. I realized that as I was getting closer to the clearing, the worse the weather was getting. Now the sun was hidden by dark gray clouds.

Suddenly I found myself in the middle of the familiar setting. It was strange being in this place that one pivotal point of my life had taken place. I suppose it was a good place for it all to go down, the start of Victoria's terror and the end of it. I was facing north, which was where the newborns should be coming from. I heard light footsteps to the east of me, Aislinn. She stepped out of the woods, her green dress flowing beautifully as she moved and I realized how strange I must look, prepared to fight twenty newborns in a pencil skirt, a nice blouse and heels. She ran over to me and embraced me for a while. The emotion in her eyes reflected the gloominess of the clouds. We stared at each other for a while, neither of us able to speak. We heard the pounding of many feet coming from the north as well as a few screeches. The newborns were obviously fighting with each other along their way. Aislinn looked from the direction of the noise and then back at me, letting me know that she wanted to fight. She realized I wouldn't allow it and placed the heavy sliver lighter that Felix had given her into my hand and then went back into the woods. I could vaguely see her silhouette from where I stood.

The soft pounding sound of the newborn's feet was increasing, it was almost time. I heard the wolves arrive, turned around and nodded towards the trees that masked their huge forms and turned back to face my fate. I listened intently; the newborns had split into two groups. A group of nine was coming from the northwest and was a few minutes behind while a group of ten was coming straight in my direction now. I saw their bright crimson eyes first, followed by their bright pale bodies. They broke through the edge of the trees and slowed when they saw me. Obviously confused as to why the vampire they were hunting was meeting up with them.

"I hope you know what you are getting yourselves into because of Victoria," I spoke, making my voice as menacing as I could. "You entered my home and my town, putting those I care about in danger and I'll annihilate you all for it."

As the sound of my last words they all snapped and went into a frenzy. Ten barbarous bodies, each shining pale like the moon and varying in different sizes and sexes were rushing toward me. I stood still, letting them come straight to me. The first to reach me was a large male, undoubtedly strong, with a disarray of short, pitch black hair stirring with his every stride. Directly behind him was a petite female, she looked about fifteen and had long brown curls. The male was far too sure of himself because of his size and the obvious numbers that were in his favor. I decided not to test whether or not he would turn to dust if he attacked me. A moment before he rammed into me I stuck my arm out, grabbed his neck and contracted the muscle in my hand with so much force that it severed his head. The petite girl now had wide, surprised eyes but was still very intent on doing away with me. Unfortunately for her, she was even easier to kill than the big male. All it took was one quick movement for me to tear her body completely in half and in that same motion I lit the remains of her and her pal on fire. _Two down, seventeen to go._

Three other newborns, two females and a male were in a semi-circle as they raced toward me. _Hmm, should I go clockwise or counter clockwise?_ I lunged at the blonde female on the left before they were in range to lunge at me. She was surprised but it only lasted a moment, along with the rest of her existence. The male and the other female both lunged at me and I flipped backwards, landing in a crouch before thrusting myself at them. I grabbed the girl by her arm while kicking the male back. I hurled her into a ground with all my force, creating a deep indent in the ground, before ripping of her arm and head, lighting them on fire a moment after. I sensed the male jump at my back, I turned around with my fist clenched and it immediately met with his demon-like face. He threw his hand out to scratch me but I sized it in mine and proceeded to tear the rest of his limbs off, shortly thereafter I set him on fire. Just like that half of the first group of newborns was dead in less than thirty seconds.

The next five, four males and one female decided to come at me at once. I roared at them, daring them to come forward and meet the same fate as the others had. I could hear the excited sounds of the pack behind me, still deep in the trees since they saw that I could handle myself. Then I came up with a plan to show them that they never had anything to worry about. I shredded the first of the group and projected his remnants to the side; I'd finish him completely later. Then I stood completely still and held my arms out like I wanted a hug, inviting the newborns to _try_ and kill me. I heard the breathing of the wolves halt. I saw looks of hesitation on the faces of the newborns for a fraction of a second before one lunged at me. His teeth met with my arm for an instant before he turned into dust. The others were confused at where he went and that made their fury grow. All four lunged at once and a moment later all that surrounded me was a cloud of dust. I looked down at my hands and realized I was completely fine before engulfing the pieces of the remaining vampire in flames.

"No!" someone shrieked from the west. I turned to see Victoria there, eyes blazing with anger, along with the other nine newborns. I contracted my muscles to start running at her but I realized that I couldn't move. I noticed one of the newborns pointing at me, _paralyzing_ me. It didn't hurt but it definitely halted my killing-spree. _So, she found someone with a power, lucky her._ In a flash Victoria turned and ran out of the clearing while the newborns ran toward me.

"Bella, move!" Aislinn yelled from the woods.

_Unfortunately sister, I can't move at the moment. If you would be so kind as to kill that stupid newborn with the power to keep me from moving I would move!_

The newborns were quickly approaching and Aislinn knew something was wrong and ran to me. She looked deep into my eyes and tried to shake me but I couldn't move. Out of the corner of my eye I saw more newborns coming from the north. _Alice and her damn subjective visions, there are at least 7 more! _I stood there, unable to move with sixteen newborns vampires coming toward my sister and I. One was exceptionally fast and was only moments away from us, she lunged at Aislinn, who was still looking at me and had her back turned in the direction of the quickly approaching onslaught of vampires. Something russet brown and huge ran into the newborn and ripped it to shreds. _Jacob!_ He turned around quickly to see if Aislinn was alright. She came back to the reality that we were in an epic battle, retrieved the lighter from my hand and lit the newborn on fire.

"One of them has a power," she said to Jacob. "We have to find that one and kill it so that Bella can move." Jacob nodded and looked at her adoringly.

The pack and Aislinn all took a protective stance around me. Didn't they understand that I don't need to be protected, _they_ do. The group of now eight newborns that held the annoying one that was paralyzing me was only a few hundred feet away. Said annoying vampire was making it obvious that he was the one with a power by holding out his arm and pointing at me. _Get him, get the dumbass! _Not being able to speak was seriously frustrating. The group of eight newborns reached the pack and the fighting was intense. I wanted to close my eyes but I couldn't even do that. Everyone seemed to be doing well, even young Seth. I noted that there were only eight wolves; they must have left two behind to guard La Push. I instantly regretted not making Charlie go to the relative safety of the reservation. The group of seven newborns coming from the north was only seconds away from us now, there was no way that the pack and Aislinn alone could handle fifteen newborns. My worst nightmare was coming true, most of the people I cared about were about to be killed.

I heard a booming roar from behind me and wanted to turn and see who it was, it sounded like a bear. Then three of the last people I thought I would see now stepped in front of me and crouched at the incoming hoard of newborns; Alice, Jasper and Emmett. I forgave them all immediately for any wrong they had ever done, or will ever do, to me. Having them here gave everyone a chance to survive. Emmett and Jasper didn't hesitate to start dismembering vampires while the little pixie that is Alice made a beeline toward the vampire with the power. She lunged at him and a moment after I regained my ability to move. I put the joy I felt towards Alice, Jasper and Emmett away for the moment and replaced it with anger towards the newborns as I joined the fight. I ran straight into the group of vampires that had yet to attack and laughed as they all turned to dust after trying to attack me.

Rain started to pour down and I spun around to see the last 2 newborns huddled together in front of Aislinn, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, the pack and _the Volturi guard?_ Felix, Demetri and Jane to be exact. _Now they show up._ I ignored Jane's torture of the remaining newborns, ran to Alice and hugged her. How could I be mad at her anymore if she was the reason my friends and family were safe?

"Alice I'm so sorry I was just so upset with you and seeing you hurt so much, it brought back all the memor-" I started but Alice held a finger up to my lips to stop me.

"It's ok, Bella. I deserve much worse than that. You left so fast though and a few minutes later your future disappeared completely and I was so worried, I think it has to do with the wolves," she crinkled her nose but then her face turned blank, she was having a vision. I smiled, waiting in anticipation for what she was seeing. When she returned from her vision her face was in shock.

"Bella you have to go to Charlie, now!" she screamed, even though I was standing right next to her.

"What's happening, Alice?" I asked her frantically.

"Victoria, she went to find Charlie when she found out she couldn't hurt you!"

I ran, as fast as I could back towards Forks. Gliding past trees with more speed that even I knew I had. The run seemed to go on infinitely and my mind was overtaken with thoughts of Charlie. I was scared to death that I would be too late, that all I would find was Charlie's body, drained of blood. The impact of my foot left an indent in the asphalt of the road when I turned onto my street. I was running out in the open, during daylight and I didn't care. All that mattered was Charlie. I burst through the front door, sending shards of wood flying. I turned and there, in the living room stood Victoria, drinking blood from my father's neck. I crashed into her and sent her flying through my living room wall landing outside. I glanced at Charlie and saw that he wasn't completely dead. Victoria got up and tried to run but I quickly caught her, slammed her into a tree, splitting in half and grabbed her by the throat. Her eyes were filled with fear and the desire to kill me.

"You lose," I said as I slowly tore her head from her body.

Aislinn was the first of the others to reach the house and she quickly burned Victoria while I held my breath and went to Charlie. He was writhing in reaction to the venom. This was so wrong; Charlie was never supposed to be affected by anything that has to do with vampires.

"Dad, I'm so sorry." I said while grabbing his hand. He squeezed it back gently and I almost lost it. I wasn't sure what to do now.

"He's lost so much blood." Alice said as she appeared next to me.

"What should I do, Alice?" I begged for her to tell me what to do.

"I-I don't know," she whispered. "I think he's lost too much blood for you to suck the venom out of him, I don't even think he has enough to become a vampire, unless you manually pump his heart."

"No! That can't be," I screamed.

"Bella, you're going to have to give him the choice," she whispered.

"I can't ask my dad if he would rather die or become a vampire! I can't do that Alice."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. You have to, though."

My body shook with my tearless sobs. I felt the warmth of Jake surround me as he pulled me into a hug. I rested my head into his bare chest. "Jake, I don't know what to do."

"I think Alice is right, Bella. You need to ask Charlie, it's his decision," he whispered into my ear.

Charlie's muscles tensed with the pain of the venom and I knew I had to do it; I had to let him choose.

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**Sorry about the cliffy but I've been up for a whole day and I need to get some sleep. If I kept writing right now whatever I wrote would be complete crap. Please review this chapter and let me know how it was. I'm very worried that I did a bad job with the fight scenes.**

**Thank you to everyone that reviewed, added me and my story to your favorites as well as alerts. I got SO many awesome reviews. It really made me feel awesome. Thanks again: Little Angel Alice, apocalyps24, Runs With Horses, 19Twilighter19, Spider-Hand, deepcutfighter, MoonstruckManda, Kaatt, Starlit Tiger, oceanluvr, Kenai52503, eclipsedbrunette, Yana5 and Bleached Kitty. I love you all!**


	15. Blessed or damned?

**Once again, I'm so sorry for the mistake of posting the wrong chapter. I hope when you read the right one it made up for it!**

**No time for a playlist, maybe I'll add one later! Enjoy!**

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I sat in the destructed living room of my home, holding my father's hand as his body twisted in agony, the same agony I had felt when James bit me. The difference now was that Charlie wouldn't make it out of this alive. There were two variations of death that he could choose from. One was to simply die as any other human would; the other was to exist eternally as a hunter, constantly waging an inner war with his animalistic senses as well what he once thought was right and wrong. I couldn't help but hate myself for bringing this on Charlie. He wasn't ready to learn about immortals, let alone that his daughter was one. Charlie was fighting against the pain and he managed to say my name a couple times. I had to do this now; there was no time to wait.

"Dad, I know it hurts and I know it burns but you're going to have to try and listen carefully to what I'm about to say." His eyes met mine and he squeezed my hand. I turned my head away from him and took a deep breath. I could smell his blood but no fire rose in my throat. I turned back towards him and it took all the strength I had to look into his eyes. "This is going to sound crazy but please believe me. The woman that attacked you was a vampire, dad… She's an evil vampire that feeds on humans. When I was in Phoenix her mate tried to kill me but Edward killed him. The woman wanted to kill me as revenge and when she realized she couldn't, she came after you. I'm so sorry, Dad," I was now dry sobbing uncontrollably.

"I never wanted you to find out about this life but I have no other choice now. Dad, I'm a vampire too. I was attacked in Ireland and so was Aislinn. That is why I look so different." Charlie's eyes grew wide with disbelief. "We aren't normal vampires, we only drink the blood of animals and the same goes for the Cullens."

Charlie grasped my hand tighter. "I…love you," he said after a few deep gasps.

"I love you too, Dad," I whispered. I wasn't ready to tell him what I needed to say, I couldn't tell him to make a choice. I knew what he would choose and I wasn't ready to lose him.

"Bella, you have to ask him now," Alice whispered. I looked at her with frightened eyes. "I know it's hard but you have to do this for him and there isn't much time."

I turned back towards Charlie. "You lost a lot of blood when she bit you, Dad… You lost too much for me to be able to suck the venom out so that you can live without being a vampire. I can't decide your fate for you and I know you want to choose. You can either become a vampire or die. If there was another option we would have taken it but there isn't. This…fate isn't for everyone but if you want it we will be there for you and guide you through everything." It felt like my stone heart was fracturing into a million pieces and worst of all, those pieces were about to disappear.

Charlie took a deep, loud breath. "It's my time to go, Bells… I love you, I-I'm proud of you."

My body shook from the sorrow that I felt when I heard Charlie's words. "I love you too, more than anything. I'm so lucky to have a dad like you."

I glanced up at my surroundings; Alice was sitting, next to me staring at Charlie with grief-stricken eyes, Jacob was comforting Aislinn, Emmett and Jasper were standing across the room looking at me sympathetically and the Volturi were staring blankly at the scene in front of them, clearly on edge about being near Jacob even though he was in his human form. Everyone showed that they felt some sort of anguish, except for Charlie. He was so calm and he had stopped thrashing due to the pain.

"Jasper?" I whispered. He looked at me and I glanced around the room. He got what I was trying to tell him and sent waves of calm through the room. I half-smiled in thanks.

Charlie's heart beat was gentle and growing slower by the second. His eyes were fighting to stay closed and his hand was quickly becoming cold and weak in mine. Charlie's eyes met mine for a long moment before they closed, forever. My whole body ached and I screamed in frustration and pain. The sad howls of wolves were echoing out in the forest. Jacob left Aislinn's side and embraced me in a strong hug. I felt Aislinn and Alice both join in embracing me too.

"Bella, don't be sad. Charlie is in a better place now," Jake whispered as he kissed the top of my head.

"It's all my fault; I didn't even think to watch Charlie. I should have protected him. He would be alive right now and he wouldn't be tortured with the thought that his daughter is a fucking mythical creature."

Alice growled. "Bella it's not your fault. You did everything you could today. There were almost 30 vampires after you. If you hadn't been so brave and fought them all then a lot of people would have lost their lives. You're a hero, all of us here know it and Charlie knows it. I should have seen it earlier."

"No, Alice. This isn't anyone's fault but mine."

"It isn't anyone's fault but Victoria's," Aislinn said with force, Jacob and everyone else agreed.

That night the police came and deemed my house a crime scene. We had to tell them that Victoria got away. The explanation that she was now just ashes blowing in the wind wouldn't suffice. Alice, Jasper and Emmett went to stay at their place and invited Aislinn and I but Jacob insisted that we stay with him and Billy. I was glad that Jake had taken such a liking to Aislinn; it was a small silver lining in the midst of this horrible time. I politely demanded that Felix, Demetri and Jane return to Volterra with a promise that I would visit after Charlie's funeral.

I spent the rest of the week sitting at first beach, staring out into seemingly endless ocean and letting the guilt and pain consume me. I only moved when humans were by as well as at night, Aislinn said if I sat in the same spot for days without it seeming like I went in to sleep I would be suspicious. I didn't care if anyone found out what I was and destroyed me, not much mattered anymore but I listened to her. I ran by night, as fast and as far as I could. Running didn't bring me joy like it usually did but it numbed the pain temporarily.

The day before Charlie's funeral Alice and Aislinn joined me at the beach. They both seemed nervous but sat quietly next to me for hours until Alice said that she would give Aislinn and I some alone time.

"Bella?" Aislinn said softly. I nodded to tell her I was listening but didn't shift my gaze from the ocean.

"I wanted to talk to you about something. Jake thought he should do it but I insisted." I turned my head towards her. _What would Jake and Aislinn need to talk to me about?_

"Wow, you moved, thanks." She seemed shy, almost self-conscious about what she was about to say.

"What is it?" I whispered. The sound of my voice surprised me; I hadn't spoken in nearly a week.

"Jake is waiting in the trees in case you freak out but I told him he didn't have anything to worry about. So just don't freak out, ok?" I nodded, too confused to speak. "Well remember what you told me about imprinting and how everyone thinks it is so that they can have the best chance of passing on the werewolf gene to their offspring?"

"Yes." _Where the hell is she going with this?_

"Well that myth has been busted…Jake imprinted on me."

Staring at the ocean for a week must make a vampire crazy because I could have sworn that my sister just told me that my best friend imprinted on her even though they were born to be enemies. _Wait a minute she did say that_!

"What?" I yelled out of surprise. In a flash Jake was in front of Aislinn, shielding her from me. _He's trying to protect her from me? This is beyond weird._

I rolled my eyes, "Jake, come on be serious. You really think that I would hurt my sister because you imprinted on her? Why would I think it's a bad thing if my sister and best friend are together?"

He shifted his stance from protective to casual and smiled.

"Well, we aren't together," Aislinn corrected. "I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the whole situation but I am very fond of him. It's still weird to meet someone for the first time and feel like you know them and it's even weirder that that person sees you for the first time and is in love with you."

I laughed and then sighed. "We live in some kind of screwed up soap opera, don't we?"

"Yes, I think even for immortals our lives are strange," she laughed.

Jake was standing next to Aislinn, looking at her like nothing else mattered. I'm sure that's what I looked like when I was with Edward. The more I thought about it the more I realized that Aislinn and Jake would complement each other perfectly. Her caring, motherly nature would balance out how childish Jacob could be and they each had a great sense of humor. I knew they would work out, even though the situation was unbelievable.

"Aislinn, can I talk to Jake alone for a minute? I know you'll see what we've talked about anyway, but I still want to do this the traditional way."

"Sure," she said before exchanging a loving glance with Jacob and then walking down the beach towards Alice.

Jake looked at me curiously. "What's up, Bells?"

"I know that your intentions are nothing but the best with Aislinn but I feel obligated to say a few things to you. I couldn't be happier for either of you. You are my best friend and have been for a while but she is my sister. You need to watch your temper because if you hurt a hair on her head, however unlikely it is, I will not hesitate to hurt you a thousand times worse."

"Understood," he replied.

"If she wants to be with you as just a friend, you will not pressure her or threaten anyone that she wants to be with to try and get them to stay away."

"You of all people should know that I only want her to be happy. If that is with someone else then that is fine."

"Yes I know, just make sure you don't scare anyone she likes off. If you ever leave her or break her heart, consider every bone in your body about to be broken so badly that it will take a month for you to heal."

"Bella, I'm not like him. You know that."

"Yes, I do know that. I just had to say it out loud so you know where my loyalty will be if she gets hurt."

"Alright, Bells," he said as he hugged me. "I love you and Aislinn so much."

"I love you too. So do we not stink to you anymore or what?" I laughed.

"Well she smells good but I wish I could say the same for you, yuck!" he joked.

Jake and Aislinn went off to talk to Billy. _Good luck with that._ Billy was _somewhat_ understanding of my situation but I couldn't imagine what he would think about his son imprinting on a vampire. Alice came back over to me, still seeming nervous.

"Brendan has been calling you this whole week. Aislinn answered after awhile so that he wouldn't worry. He said you can call him if you need anything and he'll be here… He seems nice."

I sighed, I had totally forgotten about Brendan. I found myself kind of wishing he was here, he always made me feel better. "He is nice; he's a really good friend."

"I haven't told…Edward about anything. I haven't, well actually none of us have seen him since we left. I know he would want to be here and help you but there is still a lot that you don't know about what happened."

"If he wanted to be here he never would have left, but thank you for not telling him. I don't need him coming back trying to help me out of pity or charity"

"Bella, not everything is as it seems. One day you'll learn that but this isn't the time for that discussion. Carlisle and Esme want me to tell you they are sorry and they wish they could be here for you and Charlie."

"I miss them."

"They miss you too."

Eventful, tragic, joyous, trying, extraordinary…those words all could describe my existence. It was both providential as well as dammed, for reasons I'm sure one can understand. I couldn't help but wonder how much longer I would be on this roller-coaster. Maybe in a hundred years, when everyone that I knew that wasn't immortal had died, my life would become more peaceful. If the only disturbance I had in my life was the heart break I suffered due to Edward I would be glad.

Charlie's funeral was solemn. The skies were dark and of course, it was raining. A lot of people from town were there as well as the pack, Sue Clearwater, Billy, Aislinn, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Renee and Phil. Saying goodbye to Charlie was so hard. The soft thumps of the rain on my umbrella reminded me of the tears I couldn't shed for my own father. Charlie made the right decision in my eyes, this was a torturous existence and definitely not for him. Afterwards Alice invited everyone over to their house where one by one they gave me their condolences. It was weird enough for me to be in this house, the crying people telling me that _they _were sorry made it beyond weird and uncomfortable. I wonder what they would say if they knew it was all my fault, that they shouldn't be sorry for Charlie's vampire daughter and her stupidity. They didn't know that though so the sympathy train kept on rolling. Aislinn and Alice were on either side of me at all times, ready to distract someone from any touchy questions they might have for me. The one person whose questions they could not protect me from was Renee.

I hadn't seen Renee since I left forks, a year and half prior. I had talked to her about once a month, always telling her I didn't call more because I was busy. _Yes busy trying not to eat people._ Renee was erratic but she was also observant. The first time I had talked to her on the phone after I was changed she immediately noticed how different my voice was. She said it sounded like bells. _How fitting._

"Bella are you doing alright?" Renee asked as she pulled me into the kitchen after everyone but the Cullens, Aislinn and Jacob left.

"Yeah I'm alright," I said unconvincingly.

She grabbed my hand and flinched a little at the cold. "Are you really? You didn't even pick me up from the airport, Aislinn said that you were just sitting at the beach staring and that you had been doing that for a week."

"I'm sorry I didn't pick you up. I really wasn't ready to see anyone. What is so bad about sitting at the beach, no one gets hurt doing that."

"I'm not mad that you didn't get me, it's just not like you. Everyone says that you are blaming this on yourself. That's not right Bella; this is not your fault. Charlie and I love you more than anything and I hope that I get to see you before I go like he did. Your father was proud of you."

_It is my fault! It's all my fault! I'm the one that Victoria was after, I'm the one that didn't hunt her down and kill her, and I'm the one that didn't make sure Charlie was protected. I ruined Charlie's life; he died because he was my father. _I wished I could say that to Renee but I couldn't, so I said what was easy. "I know mom, I'm just having a hard time. You're right."

"I know, baby. Charlie was such a good man. He mentioned something to me on the phone a few weeks ago about how different you look. I was so surprised when I saw you, why did you get contacts?"

_Here we go again_. Though it felt like it lasted forever, Renee's visit was short, her and Phil had left the next day because she had to substitute a kindergarten class. I was relieved but I felt a little guilty for feeling that way. After she left I spent a few hours with Alice, Jasper and Emmett. I hadn't even said two words to Jasper and Emmett since they showed up. Emmett was still the same huge, teddy bear jokester and wanted to test out my 'so-called superior strength', as he put it. We went to the woods behind their house and Emmett place his elbow on a huge rock and called me forward. The match lasted less than a second, with me as the winner. Our friendship picked up where it had left off seamlessly, but I couldn't say the same about my friendship with Jasper.

Jasper felt extremely guilty and I didn't know why. The only thing he had ever done to me was attack me but that wasn't really his fault. I hadn't blamed him then and I definitely didn't now that I know how hard it is.

"Jazz, I promise you I have no hard feelings about it at all. I had actually forgotten about until you brought it up. I know how difficult it can be to control yourself but even before I did I still wasn't mad."

He sighed, "Bella it's not just that I attacked you… it's what happened because of that."

"Jazz, this is a tough time for Bella, maybe we should wait to have serious conversations," Alice interrupted. Then her face froze, she was having a vision. When she came out of it she was smiling but she had a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Tell Brendan I say hi and thanks for letting me buy the painting."

"I'm seeing him today?"

"Tomorrow…" she said while looking at the floor.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "You're not telling me everything, or anything for that matter."

"It's not my business to say, but I'm happy with whatever you decide to do."

"I'm totally confused, but thanks?"

The ride back to Portland was slower than I would have liked, Jake was following us in his car. I couldn't stop coming up with ideas about what was going to happen when I saw Brendan. I'd never seen Alice have a reaction like that. Aislinn was simply glowing; she was either already in love with Jake or close to it.

"So how long is Jake staying for?" I asked, trying to get my mind off Brendan.

"I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine it will be that long; I will be very busy with school and painting. Plus he has responsibilities with the pack."

"Yay for makeup work!" I said sarcastically.

"Yes, hooray," she agreed. Then thought about something for a moment before speaking again, "I'm really curious…what do you think Alice meant about you and Brendan?"

I let out a huff. "Sometimes I wish my shield protected me from you seeing my memories. I was trying not to think about it, I'm totally stumped and it's driving me crazy."

"I'll be he's going to ask you to marry him."

"What?" I yelled and laughed at the same time. "You're delusional. We don't even like each other like that, why would he do such a thing?"

"I don't know, I was just guessing."

"Ok well that was the worst guess in the history of guesses. He'd be more likely to ask if I was a vampire." Aislinn and I turned to look at each other with wide eyes, we had both just realized something big. "Oh shit, you don't think he knows do you?" I asked, frantic.

"I'm not sure. What would you tell him if he asked?"

"Ummm…" _What would I tell him if he asked?_

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**I had some writer's block for this chapter, so I'm not sure about it. Tell me if you think it sucks. I know, I'm a horrible person for killing Charlie but he would never want the vampire life/existence. When is that darn Edward Cullen going to show up? Man, he's slow! :P**

**Thank you once again to all my awesome reviewers: Divepup, deepcutfighter, marie potter riddle, Yana5, Anonyymus :), Ria Potter, apocalyps24, Spider-Hand, Lourdes08, oceanluvr, eclipsedbrunette, Kenai52503, Starlit Tiger, Bleached Kitty, omg444888, Shellii and MoonstruckManda. Even if you just reviewed to tell me that I totally screwed up and posted chapter 4 instead of 14, thanks. I didn't even notice until I saw the reviews. Thanks for all the support!**

**I'd also like to thank everyone that read my story, added it to their favorites and alerts. **


	16. Diamonds are a guy's best friend

**Sorry for taking extra long with this chapter. I re-wrote it about 10 times because I had writers block and never thought it was good enough. I still don't know if it's good enough but it'll do I suppose. I didn't respond to every review because I haven't had much time but if you have a specific question I will always take the time to write back. Hopefully I have time this week to respond to any reviews you might leave for this chapter. A lot of you have been asking if Edward will be in this story and yes, he will be in it eventually. Hold tight for that. :)**

**Playlist: **_**Everything You Want**_** by Vertical Horizon and **_**Audience of One**_** by Rise Against**

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"Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays," that annoying waiter from Office Space said on the TV. Aislinn and I were watching one of our favorite movies because we felt exactly like Peter Gibbons. Mondays suck, even for Vampires. College was better than High School but only marginally, and I wasn't lucky enough to be able to touch someone from class and see what exactly had been taught while we were gone like Aislinn. No, let me correct that, I wasn't lucky at all. Mr. Weidman had given us our semester project that was due in two months. Two perfect and complete stories that had to total no less than 150,000 words combined. Every heart beat in the class, except for Mr. Weidman, got louder and faster. It was torture. The worry of how tough of a grader Mr. Weidman is, was small in comparison to the worry that I might kill someone in my class. I was that glad my luck wasn't so bad that someone got a paper cut or something tragic like that.

"I think that if anyone ever tells me that I have the Mondays I might just forget about being a good vampire and rip out their throat right there," Aislinn said.

I laughed and I was joined by Jake, who was in coming through the front door.

"Wow Jake, you were gone a whole hour. That has to be some kind of record," I joked. He hadn't left Aislinn's side for more than a bathroom break or shower since he first saw her.

"Funny, funny Bells," he replied while jumping on the couch between Aislinn and I.

Then it happened, what we were all waiting for…my phone rang and it was Brendan. My dead heart quickened the pace of its imaginary beating. To say I was nervous would be an understatement.

"Hey Brendan, w-what's up?" I stuttered.

"Hi, Bella. I'm so glad it's you answering and not someone else, I've been so worried about you. I'm so sorry about your Dad." His voice was full of relief.

"I'm sorry for worrying you I just didn't really have the strength to talk to anyone and I was trying to distract myself."

"No, its fine no need to apologize. How are you holding up?"

"I'm doing a lot better. My friends have really been helping me out and after today I'm up to my neck in makeup work."

"Sounds like fun. Do you think you might have some time to hang out?"

"Sure, today?" I asked. I could have said that I was busy but why fight Alice's vision?

"Yeah, today is great. Can I pick you up at 4?"

"That sounds good. I'll see you then, bye."

"Bye, Bella."

Right now would be a good time to have Jasper around, I would give anything get rid of the nervousness. But Jasper, Alice and Emmett are half way to Alaska at the moment so I'm on my own.

"What did lover boy say?" Jacob said and threw me a smirk.

I threw my phone and hit him in the head.

"Ow, Bells. You never used to be violent," he whined while Aislinn laughed.

"Wiped that stupid smirk off of your face didn't I? I don't know what you mean by lover boy, he's a good friend just like you."

"Yeah sur-" he started to joke again but I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and started tossing up like I was about to throw it.

"Oh, Jake… _please _continue. I'd absolutely _love_ to hear whatever it is that you have to say," I said in a mock 'Aro' voice. Aislinn laughed, Jake's face turned white. "Oh Jake I'm just kidding don't be such a baby, or a puppy I guess."

"You only think it's funny because nothing would happen to you if I threw a knife at you."

"You would only be hurt for five minutes, tops," I scoffed while placing the knife back in its original place.

"So what _did_ Brendan say?" Aislinn asked.

"He's picking me up in an hour. I'm going to hunt," I said before turning and walking out the door. I ignored what Aislinn was whispering to Jake and started to run when I reached the trees. My hunt was going smoothly, much to my dismay and I had already snagged three deer within half an hour. I groaned in frustration. I wanted to keep myself busy until the very last second and not let my curiosity consume me. I hated doing it but I played a bit with the next deer, chasing it, partnering it in the perilous dance that is hunting. By the time I was finished with that I had ten minutes until Brendan would be at my house. I ran back to find Aislinn and Jacob playing poker. Jake's back was to me and I looked at his cards before gliding over to Aislinn and giving her a peck on the cheek.

"I'm going to change," I said to her and she winked at me.

I ran upstairs and could hear their conversation as I looked through my clothes.

"You're bluffing," Aislinn said coldly. I smiled at her words while I picked out my favorite long tight gray sweater and black leggings.

Jacob gulped. "No I'm not."

"Then you won't mind if I raise?"

There was a moment of tension before Jake finally spoke, "Fine, I fold," he groaned. "How did you know I was bluffing?" She giggled, unable to speak.

"Vampire's intuition," I said while walking down the stairs with my black pea coat, brown Ugg boots , socks and deep blue scarf in hand.

"Oh, you cheated!" he yelled at me and then turned to Aislinn who was now giggling uncontrollably. She looked so funny that Jake and I both started to laugh.

"It's not cheating, it's just using our abilities to our advantage," I said. Jake rolled his eyes. Then I heard a car turn onto the long drive that leads to our house.

I threw on my clothes quickly before grabbing my purse and pulling my black gloves out of it.

"Why are you dressed so warm, Bells? Doesn't the cold not have an effect on you?"

"Because it is going to be very cold tonight and possibly snow and we have to keep up appearances. It would very in-human for us to dress in shorts and tank tops in the cold," I said with my best 'duh' voice.

"Well pardon me for not knowing the ins and outs of leech culture," he snapped at me.

"What the hell did you just say?" Aislinn screamed while standing up, knocking the table over in the process.

"Babe, I didn't mean it like that-" he stared to say but Aislinn ran out the back door before he could finish.

"Way to go Jake. Next time you try to insult me make sure that it isn't insulting the girl you like as well," I scolded him, he growled and started shaking. "Don't phase in my house, out the back you go and leave Aislinn alone, she'll find you when she wants to talk." Jake ran out the back and phased halfway out the door while Brenda arrived at the front. _Today is just going great!_

I opened the door and immediately my bad mood was gone, Brendan had that effect on me.

"Hey," I said sweetly as he hugged me.

"Bella… You are such a fair beauty, absolutely flawless," he whispered before releasing me.

If I could have blushed I would have looked like a tomato. "Thanks, you look pretty good yourself," I said while shyly looking at the floor. I wasn't lying; he did look good…beyond good, actually. _Wait, what? I haven't felt shy around a guy since…oh no._ Surely I couldn't start liking Brendan; I've never come close to feeling anything like that since Edward. _You're just over thinking, Bella. Chill out, he's just your friend. Remember he's here to confront you about the horrible creature that you are._

"So how is your day going so far?" he asked as we walked down the steps to his car.

I studied his face for a moment, looking for any signs of hesitation or fear towards me, anything that would clue me in that he knew what I was. I didn't find anything.

"My day had been going pretty horribly until you showed up."

"What happened? Are you alright?" he asked while opening up the passenger side door of his car for me.

I waited until he got in his side of the car and started driving before answering. "Yeah I'm alright, nothing I won't live through," _Ha, Ha!_ "It's just, well school was…_trying_, and then there was some drama between my friends."

"So you're just having one of those days where you have to try your hardest not to kill someone?"

If this was a movie, at that line I surely would have been drinking something and done a spit-take. Did he really just say that? I couldn't help but laugh. If he didn't have to keep looking at the road I'm sure he would have looked at me like I was insane.

"Yes, I _suppose_ you could say that," I said after controlling my laughter, "I think Aislinn is having more trouble with that at the moment though."

"What happened with her? Do you want me to take you back to your house so you can be with her?"

"No, she's fine. She just got in a fight with Jake and she took off. He's such an idiot."

"Jake… as in your best friend Jake?"

"Yes, they're dating and it's been weird. It was kind of like a love at first sight thing for him and she felt like she knew him from all of my stories, so she decided to give it a chance. I doubt that she'll even talk to him now. I probably won't talk to him for a while myself."

"Oh man, what did he do?"

"He has a short temper and insulted me. The problem is not only did his insult apply to me; it applied to Aislinn as well. So even though he meant it towards me, it really was towards her too. So Aislinn is mad that he insulted her and she is mad that he insulted me."

"Well maybe I should have a talk with him," he said through clenched teeth. How sweet, the human is protective of the vampire. Does he know that he should really be afraid of me? I can't imagine that he would be here if he knew what I was, but what else could Alice be talking about?

"You're very endearing when you are mad," I laughed.

He smiled, "well Jacob won't be thinking that, I promise."

"It's sweet of you to be protective but I'm sure Aislinn has already kicked the crap out of him for you. I should probably check up on her just in case," I said while pulling my phone out of my purse.

_If you need anything just call. I told him to leave you alone so you should be able to go home without him annoying you. Love you- Bella_

I sent the text and then shifted my focus onto Brendan.

"It's really good to see you. I hadn't realized how much I missed you," I admitted.

He smiled a huge, beautiful smile but kept his eyes on the road. "I missed you too, more than you could know."

I smiled in response, despite how confused I was about my feelings toward Brendan. I couldn't deny that I was starting to like him and maybe he feels the sameway, but that is just wrong. It just wouldn't be fair to him; he would always be in danger and I would never be able to give him my whole heart. Regardless of how angry I will always be with Edward he still carries around a piece of my heart that I will never be able to get back. _What are you thinking, Bella? Brendan doesn't even like you! He's going to ask you about what you are today and if you tell him, he's going to run away screaming._

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Brendan pulling into a gravel parking lot in what seemed like an industrial part of the city. Brendan got out of the car and offered his hand to me as I got out. We walked, hand in hand through the gravel onto a cement sidewalk where a sign simply said 'TRAIL'. I could see that the trail led down a couple hundred feet to a beach and the Willamette River. Across from the river there were more industrial buildings but behind those were the rolling green hills of Forest Park. I heard sounds of boats in a shipyard coming down from the North West as well as the sounds of trains coming the East.

"Where are we exactly?" I asked Brendan as we made our way through the driftwood that was scattered on the beach and sat on a log.

"This is Swan Island. It's one of my favorite places to go, not many people know there is actually a trail here, I think it's one of the best places in Portland. The industrial buildings are kind of cold and dead by themselves but they are softened by the beauty of nature…they complement each other perfectly. It reminds me of man's greatest struggle, to balance out the good and bad within ourselves."

"Oh what a struggle it is," I agreed. "This place is really beautiful though, I can see why you love it." The clouds were still covering the sun but I could tell the sun would set soon and it would most likely come out from the clouds soon. _We have to leave before that happens._

"Bella, there is something I need to talk to you about," he spoke, his voice shaky and nervous.

Does he think that I'll kill him if I know that he knows? My cold heart trembled in a failed attempt to beat faster. "What is it?" I whispered while turning my body towards him and grabbing his hand, comforting him like he did for me when Alice showed up.

"I know… I know that maybe I'm the biggest idiot alive for doing this but I just have to let you know. I've completely fallen in love with you. I'm well aware of the fact that you don't see me like that and your heart is still wounded from the past. I don't expect anything from you but friendship; well I don't even expect that really. I'm happy to be in your life no matter what my title is but I thought it was only fair to let you know how I feel, so that if one day, by the grace of God and all things Holy, you ever felt anything for me you would know I feel the same way." His eyes met mine and they were filled with raw emotion, like he wanted me to see all the way into his soul to show me how deeply he felt.

So this is what Alice was talking about? Choosing whether or not I want to give Brendan a chance? I don't understand why she would care if I move on. _Oh._ I guess she was saying that it wouldn't matter to her if I forgot about Edward, in case I cared about what she thought about it. _Well thanks Alice; it's nice to know you won't hate me for moving on after your brother broke my heart into a million pieces._

I took a deep breath, I liked Brendan… I liked him enough to keep him from entering my world. "Brendan, I'm not good for you. There are things about me that are different and dangerous; I can't even tell you what those things are either. My life has so many secrets, I could never be completely honest with you and I can't do that to you."

"Bella that's fine with me. I don't care what secrets you have, I don't care how dangerous or different you are. I love you for you. I'll accept any challenges you come with."

"Even though one of those challenges is an incomplete heart? How can you want to be with someone who can't give you all of their love? I couldn't only offer you a piece of my heart when some girl out there could give you all of hers."

"This is a quality not quantity thing. I'd take the littlest piece of your heart over anyone else's whole heart. Why don't you put my feelings and my safety aside for a moment and tell me how you feel."

_Tell him how you feel… how do I feel? _"You're the only person I've ever really liked besides Edward but in my heart I still love him. I can't let my feelings for you grow; it's not right for you. I just can't do that to you." The sun was beginning to set and I knew my words were true. If I allowed myself to give Brendan a chance he would end up being hurt. Either by me not being able to give up Edward, which I still don't believe I will ever be able to do, or I would hurt him physically. He had to know that this couldn't work; I had to show him I was different.

"Just… look," I whispered as the sun came under the clouds and its rays slowly illuminated my diamond-like skin. The light fragments reflected off of my body and caused the beach, along with the water to sparkle. I shifted my gaze to meet Brendan's eyes. They mirrored my glittering complexion and also showed his shock. _Here comes the running and screaming part…_

I tore my gaze away from his eyes and focused on the rock and driftwood littered beach. "I told you I'm not right for you. I'm different, I'm dangerous. I can't be with you for those reasons and the fact that I can't ever love you like I loved him."

"Bella, you're beautiful. The single most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

He seemed surprised that I sparkle but not entirely. "Do you know what I am?" I whispered. Could he know? There is no way.

"Yes… I know that you're Isabella Swan and you're the most fascinating, caring and beautiful person I have ever met. I also know that it doesn't matter to me what you are."

"Even if I'm a monster?" I said coldly.

"Bella, monsters don't exist and even if they did you would not be one of them."

_So he doesn't know what I am, but he isn't entirely shocked that I sparkle. He doesn't care that I keep telling him that I'm dangerous and he doesn't care that deep down inside of me I still love Edward. Now I understand why everyone thought I had no will to live. I must have sounded as crazy as he does._

"Brendan I can't be anything more than your friend. I'm sorry."

He sighed and pulled me into a hug. "Bella, Bella, Bella… being your friend is more than enough for me. I just had to tell you. I'm sorry if I made it awkward."

"You didn't make anything awkward… that was all my doing."

"So you sparkle, big deal," he shrugged.

I laughed out of bewilderment and gave him an incredulous look. "Did you really just shrug at the fact that your friend sparkles? I thought I was the weird one."

"Hey, why can't diamonds be a guy's best friend too?"

We both laughed at that and our light mood carried on the whole drive back.

"What are you doing on Saturday?" he asked when he pulled up to the house.

"Aislinn and I are leaving to Italy Friday night."

"Halloween in Italy huh?"

"Yeah I guess so. What are you doing?" Halloween in Volterra would definitely be scary if I was human.

"Family party, yay," he said sarcastically. "Can we hang out again before you leave?"

"Of course."

I said good bye to Brendan and was greeted by Aislinn sitting on the couch, watching The Notebook with countless different tubs of ice cream in front of her.

"Why did you buy ice cream?" I asked while sitting down on the couch next to her.

"I wanted to do the normal girl break up thing. I tried every kind of ice cream they had at the store to see if I would like any."

I stared at her for a moment, expecting her to continue, she didn't. "Well did you like any of them?"

"Oh no, and I had a horrible time coughing it all up."

"Nice." _Thanks for the mental image._ "So what happened between you and Jake?"

"Everywhere I ran he would follow me. He kept saying that something could happen to me and I said 'Earth to Jacob, I'm technically dead'. Well he didn't like that, he lost his temper and I told him to go home and if I ever wanted to talk to him I would find him but that I don't ever want to see him around here uninvited."

"Well that complicates things. Did you tell him about Italy?"

"Not a chance! He'd stowaway in my luggage!" she scoffed. "So what happened between you and Brendan?"

"Can't you just touch me and see for yourself."

"No, I'm trying to do the whole girl-talk thing," she said in her 'duh' voice.

I rolled my eyes. "You should know by now how anti girl-talk I am."

She looked at me expectantly. "Bella…"

"Aislinn…" I gave her a devious smile.

"Don't you dare-" she started to say but it was too late. I had already jumped on her and grabbed her face in my hands, forcing her to see my memories. Once I was sure she knew what happened I let her up.

"You're a brat," she said, feigning annoyance. "Why do you think he didn't freak out about you sparkling?"

"My guess is that he is the most understanding and non judgmental person ever or he has seen a vampire before."

"But he doesn't know that you sparkle because you are a vampire…"

"Nope."

**____________________________________________________________________________________**

**Well, I hope that wasn't too horrible.**

**A little FYI- Swan Island is a real place in Portland, the path they walked on is actually there too. If you go on Google earth you can find it. :) **

**As always I would like to thank my awesome reviewers: Bleached Kitty, Runs With Horses, Kenai52503, Spider-Hand, Renom, Yana5, eclipsedbrunette, MoonstruckManda, Starlit Tiger, omg444888, theladykae, bunny-trail, Forever-Twilighted, W||V, DaniLUVyou as well as everyone who read, alerted and added. **

**On an unrelated note I have a new idea for a story. It's going to combine one of my other favorite books with Twilight and I'm super excited about it. I'm probably going to wait until this one is almost done though because I don't want to lose focus on either story. It's a secret what it is about for now but I promise it will be original and way better than this story because this one was merely for practice. :)**

**Next chapter won't take a week I promise!**


	17. Secrets don't make friends

S**o my boyfriend told me a couple days ago that we are exactly like Romeo and Juliet. I told him he obviously has never read or seen Romeo and Juliet because we are nothing like them. I'm sorry to say my boyfriend doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. :( What does a girl have to do to get some romance in her life? Honestly.**

**Anyways enough emo-ness… This chapter is dedicated to Bleached Kitty who has an awesome new story up called ****Life Starts Again****, as well as Spider-Hand and L'amante di Destino for their seriously amazing reviews.**

**Playlist: **_**Under the Bridge**_** bye Red Hot Chili Peppers and **_**Like the Angel**_** by Rise Against.**

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"So what exactly did he see?" Aislinn whispered to Alice. They had been being secretive all day, whispering to each other. I never caught enough of what they were saying to understand what it was about but I knew that it had to be big if they were both hiding it from me.

"That's it," I yelled while slamming the couch I was carrying down on the ground, breaking it into pieces. "You two need to tell me what the hell is going on."

"Bella it's nothing," Aislinn said, the look on her face told me that she was lying. I gave her my best death-glare and crossed my arms.

"Bull. Either you two are lesbians and you are secretly flirting or you are hiding something from me."

"You caught us…" Alice said, "She's just so hot, I don't want to break Jasper's heart though. He never stood a chance."

"Oh we have a comedian now do we?" I growled.

"Girls, settle down," Emmett said as he walked down the steps of the house toward us with Jasper close behind him. Undoubtedly the calm that I was feeling now was Jasper's doing.

"Jasper, you don't have to clam me down. I'm not going to kill your wife when you only official moved back to Forks three hours ago."

"Bella, I was trying to keep you from destroying anymore of our furniture," he joked.

"Sure, sure," I said while picking up the pieces of the couch and taking them over to the trash cans. As much as Aislinn and Alice were bothering me I was so glad that my second family was moving back to Forks from Alaska. I heard the soft purr of Carlisle's Mercedes coming down the long drive and excitement filled my body. The car came to a stop, Alice and Aislinn took their clandestine conversation into the house but I was suddenly too happy to care what they were being sneaky about.

"Carlisle, Esme!" I yelled as I ran over to them. They both intertwined their bodies with mine in a strong hug. We let go after a while and their huge smiles mirrored what I felt, absolute joy.

"Bella, dear," Esme sighed as she studied my features and smiled once again. "I've missed you so much. It is such an auspicious continuation of our lives to be here with you."

"I missed you too, Esme. I'm so glad you came back."

"Bella..." the resonant voice of Carlisle chimed "It's good to see you. I have so much to ask you about. Alice told me about-"

"Dear?" Esme interrupted, "Perhaps you should take your conversation with Bella into the study while we finish moving everything in."

"Wonderful idea dear… shall we Bella?" he said motioning to the front door. I smiled at everyone, even Rosalie who was still sitting in the back of Carlisle's car fuming. Well there was obviously no change in that relationship.

"First, I'd like to tell how sorry I am that Esme and I couldn't be here for you during Charlie's funeral," he said once we were in his study.

I started unpacking boxes and putting his books on the shelves in alphabetical order by author, then title. "Don't worry about it. Alice told me you were finalizing stuff up there so you could move back here. I'd much rather have you here permanently than for a few days. I'm actually glad you didn't see me then, I was like a zombie."

"I'm happy to see that you are doing better. Alice told me about the circumstances of your transformation, and I've learned a little about the Myth of the Martyr. Your appearance is as uncanny as your strength seems to be, judging by how easily you destroyed out couch, even for a vampire. It's actually quite marvelous. However I'm aware of the fact that your eyes remain that luminous gray color no matter what your diet consists of and no one would tell me which diet you chose."

"Well Carlisle, it takes a lot to keep up this strength, you know… I can't be feeding on herbivores all the time."

He sighed. "Yes, of course. I understand." I smiled; he was upset about the thought of me killing humans but refused to judge me for it. Carlisle and Esme were the most compassionate people ever.

"Which is why I have to make sure to hunt for grizzly or mountain lion every now and then..."

He smiled a real smile this time. "You had me going. I'm very proud of the choices you have made in life, Bella."

"You're just glad because I back up your belief that vampires have souls."

"I am glad that I have more proof now, but not just for that reason. Tell me, Bella, what is your opinion on the matter now that you are a vampire yourself."

I thought back to the last time Carlisle and I had a conversation. He was picking shards of glass out of the wound that managed to put an end to my epic fail of a birthday and we began to discuss something Edward and I had talked about earlier that day, whether vampires have souls. Edward, along with most of the others though that they don't. Carlisle and I agreed that vampires do, in fact have souls.

"I've had a lot of interesting, eye-opening experiences these past couple years, including taking someone's life…well, existence. I've been through a lot and it's only proved to me that we do have souls. A soul is the moral and emotional nature of someone and the quality that arouses emotion and sentiment. Does our intended diet determine whether or not we have morals or emotions? No, it doesn't. I have a conscience, morals, emotions and a soul. I know right from wrong and I'm able to act upon my beliefs, not just my instincts. One of the greatest strides in evolution for human beings was being able to go against nature to do what the mind thought was right."

"Brilliant, absolutely brilliant," he smiled.

"I'm positive that we have souls but a greater question for me is; will having a soul matter in the end?"

Carlisle looked at me thoughtfully. "What do you mean?"

"I'm just curious that if there is a God and a Heaven, will having a soul make a difference for us in the end? Will our good choices now still have an effect on the decision of whether or not we go to Heaven? Souls are often considered a religious thing but I don't see them as that so I don't really think that having them entitles us to be treated like humans by God. I don't believe that if God exists, he or she cares for us very much."

"That is an interesting point, Bella. I think if there would be any ingratiating evidence as to whether or not God cares about vampires, it would be in you."

I choked on air at what he said and almost dropped the book I was placing onto the shelf. "Me?"_I think Carlisle might have gone a little crazy, 'Bella Swan proof that God cares about vampires' sounds a little unbelievable._

"Think about it for a moment. You sacrificed yourself to save someone and due to your actions you are immune to harm from anyone with bad intentions. Do you think that your actions caused some different kind of venom that can decide good intentions from bad to course through your veins? I doubt it. The only logical explanation to me is that a higher power sees the good in you and has decided to protect you."

"The only logical explanation is that vampires don't exist. I haven't doubted any possibilities about any subject since mythical creatures became prominent in my life. I'm expecting the Loch Ness monster to show up eventually."

"Did you ever think about the possibility that you were blessed? I know that Victor thinks that he is."

"Who's Victor?"

"Victor is the only other vampire like you. He left the Volturi about twenty years ago. I arrived for a visit with Aro shortly after he left and learned a bit about him."

"Twenty years ago? Aro said that the only vampire like me hadn't been seen for hundreds of years."

"He's only been a vampire for about twenty three years. Aro wasn't too happy when he decided to leave."

"I wonder if that's why he lied. What-" I discontinued my conversation with Carlisle and dropped the copy of 1984 by George Orwell that I was placing on the shelf when I heard the most beautiful and melodic sound coming from downstairs. The soft and sweet tone flooded my mind with the recollection of the first time I came to this house and Edward played my lullaby. I glanced at Carlisle who looked shocked and then raced out of the study and down stairs to see who would play such a joke on me. Who would play the song that was the very symbol of Edwards 'love' for me? My vision was turning red from my anger and as the piano came into view I stopped in my tracks. The sun was cascading through the windows, illuminating the dancing dust particles in the air and glinting off of the bronze disarray of hair that belonged to the embodiment of all my love and hate, Edward. I was frozen in shock and only barely managed to notice the seven other bodies that made their way into the room.

My own personal addiction played the final notes of my lullaby and slowly turned to face me. It was as if I had never seen his face before. I might as well have been blind as a human; my memories of him didn't do him any of the justice that my vampire vision did. His flawless golden eyes met mine and were filled with grief and longing.

"Bella…" his perfect, smooth and instrumental voice whispered as he stood up and took a step towards me. My mind responded to his movement with another steady stream of memories. Memories that once brought feelings of happiness but now were the scars of the ultimate betrayal. Seeing him ripped apart the wounds I had so carefully and meticulously mended since he left. I violently shivered from the pain and anger that consumed me. I averted my gaze from his eyes and turned towards the group of vampires that were supposed to be my friends and family, all the while making sure not to look at any one of them. I kept my vision unfocused, detaching myself so that I wouldn't trigger anymore memories.

"This is what you've been hiding from me?" I said, my voice laced with so much fury that surprised even me. "You scheme behind my back so that he can come here and hurt me again?"

"Bella, we didn't know he was going to come," Aislinn whispered. She sounded scared and frankly, she should be.

_Screw the pain. _I refocused my vision and stared at her murderously and then looked to Alice. "It's all too convenient that anytime something big is going to happen Alice's visions suddenly stop working."

"He was changing his mind all the time Bella. He'd decide to come and then he'd change his mind and stay in Alaska, I didn't know for sure."

"I'm sick of being a pawn in your game of betrayal," I hissed and ran out the door in a flash, not bothering to listen to something about Brendan that Alice was yelling to me. Brendan… the only person I could trust. I got in my car, took off towards Seattle and dialed Brendan's number on my phone. It was Friday afternoon and I was set to leave with Aislinn to Volterra later tonight after hanging out with Brendan for a bit like I had promised. _I hope he's ok with me being a few hours early._

"Hello?" he answered after a few rings.

"Hey Brendan, its Bella," I said quickly.

"Oh hey Bella, what's wrong you sound flustered."

"Well you know how Aislinn and I were helping Alice and the rest of the Cullens move back into their home in Forks?"

"Yes…"

"Well they were all hiding from me that Edward was coming," hearing what they did out loud made me ever madder.

"I'm so sorry, are you ok?"

"I don't know. I'm alright now I guess, I left. I'm hoping that it'll be an out of sight, out of mind thing. I'm on my way to Seattle right now and I was wondering if you'd like to hang out for a few extra hours?"

"Of course, I'm really mad that he showed up and they didn't warn you but I can't complain that I get to spend more time with you."

"Oh thanks, you're so sweet. I'm so glad I have you… you are a really great friend."

"It's no big deal. I'm lucky to have a place in your life. I'm at my parents' house right now; do you want to come here? My parents are dying to meet you."

_Parents? Yikes!_ "Uh…sure."

"Alright I will text you the directions."

"Ok… it's like a three hour drive so I'll be there in an hour and a half."

"Ha-ha, drive safe. See you then, bye."

_Well today is a lot more eventful than I thought it would be. Parents?! How is he going to introduce me? 'Hey mom and dad this is Bella, my best friend that I happen to be in love with'? What am I supposed to say 'sorry I can't let myself love your son, it's not good for him to have a vampire girlfriend'? This is just great I go from one messed up situation to the next seamlessly. I can't wait to see what Italy has in store for me._

I spent the hour and a half drive analyzing everything Edward had done when I saw him. He was playing my lullaby and when he looked at me his eyes were pained. _What does that mean? _Alice said before that not everything was what it seems and that I'd find out eventually but who says I can trust Alice? I never thought I'd see the day when I didn't believe her. I was thankfully distracted from my confusion at my realization that I was at Brendan's parent's house. Which wasn't a house… it was actually a penthouse apartment in a huge, luxurious high-rise building. In the elevator I had an argument with myself about why I always get myself into the worst situations. Everything I do has a high probability of ending very badly.

I forced my hand to knock on the door lightly and a few moments later I heard Brendan's footsteps approaching the other side of the door. He opened it and the feeling that everything was going to be alright washed over me again; he always had that affect on me. He pulled me into a hug and when he released me my mind started noticing the flaws in his face. His face in reality was flawless but to me it seemed very flawed for one reason, it wasn't Edwards. All this time I thought that I couldn't let myself love Brendan because I was too dangerous for him, which was true but it wasn't the biggest reason. I couldn't love Brendan because I would never be able to love someone in a romantic way other than Edward. No matter how much I hated him he was the sole owner of my heart. _I suppose I'm doomed to an eternity alone._

"So are you alright?" Brendan asked after we entered the apartment. It was ridiculously huge and everything in it was perfectly decorated and ornate.

"I'm really hurt that Alice and Aislinn hid this from me but I'll survive," I said while admiring the beautiful dark wood floors.

We entered the kitchen where a gorgeous woman with brown hair and the same blue eyes as Brendan was pouring coffee into a travel mug. Her slender five-foot eight-inch frame was dressed in dark jeans, heels and a cream turtleneck sweater.

"Mom, this is Bella…my best friend."

She looked up from her coffee mug to Brendan and then to me. Her eyes locked with mine and she seemed shocked at my appearance. _Nothing out of the ordinary there._ After a moment she smiled and walked over to me, still appraising my appearance. "Hello Bella, I'm Bridgette. It's so very nice to meet you. Brendan has told us amazing things about you," she said as she extended her hand to me. I shook it and to my astonishment she didn't flinch from the temperature.

"It's nice to meet you too, you have a lovely home. I'm sure he made up all of the good things he said."

"Not a chance," Brendan said with a big grin.

"I'm sorry I can't stay and visit with you Bella but I have a big order at the bakery that I have to attend to," Bridgette said.

"It's no problem," I replied and moments later, after a goodbye hug and kiss to Brendan she was out the door.

We walked from the kitchen into the living room; Brendan turned to me and he looked a little nervous. "My dad is in the office finishing up a few things. He'll probably be out in a few minutes."

"Why do you look nervous? Should I be nervous?" I asked.

"Well… my dad can be kind of scary. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything; you've already had a pretty bad day."

_He's worried about his human father scaring me? That's laughable. _"Oh I'll be fine, don't worry. After what happened earlier this will seem like a walk in the park."

What happened next made me want to eat my words. A door, which I'm assuming led to the office, opened and a tall man who could be Brendan's twin stepped out. The only difference was that this man had pale, luminous skin and purple shadows under his eyes, he was a vampire. He looked up from the file he was reading and his eyes met mine, gray met gray.

I was frozen in shock but manage to whisper, "Victor?"

"You know my fath-" Brendan started to speak but was cut off by a low growl coming from Victor who was slowly striding towards me. He seemed to be making up his mind about whether or not to attack.

I was confused but I let my instincts take over and I crouched in a defensive stance while letting out a guttural warning growl. Victor seemed to make up his mind in the next instant and lunged at me, but before he was able to come near me something collided with him and sent him flying through the wall and into the kitchen. A moment later Edward appeared and took a protective stance in front of me, facing the kitchen.

"Edward what are you doing here? Are you crazy? If you touch him he will kill you!" I screamed.

"My intentions aren't bad, Bella. I'm only protecting you." he said while looking between the kitchen and Brendan. The way he looked at Brendan told me he didn't like what he was thinking. Brendan's posture was stiff and his eyes were wide with bewilderment. Whether that was because his father attacked me, Edward protected me or because he just saw two people crash through a wall I wasn't sure.

Victor appeared from the kitchen very dusty, with pieces of broken wall hanging off of him and hissed at us, Edward and I growled back. I focused on my shield and wrapped it around Edward, incase Victor had a mental power. I had never been as glad for the training I had in Volterra as I was now. Victor began pacing in a semi-circle in front of us, trying to find a good angle to attack but Edward would always move with him.

"She is amazing, isn't she?" Edward said to Victor, whose eyes only slightly widened at the realization that Edward could hear what he was thinking.

"Yes, it's a shame she has to die though," Victor spoke. His voice was deep and disturbingly sinister. _This couldn't be Brendan's real father._

"I'm afraid that's not possible," Edward said with force.

Victor only smiled, his brilliant dagger-like teeth glistening, and then leapt at Edward, who moved out of the way at the last second. Victor lunged again I couldn't take it anymore. Edward was fast but one wrong move and Victor would have him. I took myself out of my shield, it was something I practiced before but never really used. I started mentally cursing at Edward.

'_What the hell are you thinking? You could be killed. The next time he lunges at you I'm taking him out from the side.'_

Edward froze in shock. _Seriously how many people can freeze from shock in one day?_ Victor noted Edward's lack of attention on him and lunged once again, teeth bared and eyes gleaming with hate. I sprang with all the force I had and everything went into slow motion for me as it often did in situations like this. I crashed into Victor's ponderous body as he was mere inches from Edward's God-like face. As we tumbled through the wall of the office I could see Brendan's pained expression as he ran towards his father and me, dodging the pieces of dry-wall that had projected due to the force of our collision. We crashed to the floor and I quickly stood up and grabbed Victor by his throat, my teeth were centimeters from his neck and I dared him to move.

"Bella!" Edward and Brendan screamed simultaneously. They were both standing in front of the gaping hole that used to be a wall. Edward seemed pleased but still worried and Brendan's expression was unreadable.

"What's going on?" Brendan cried out, his voice cracking a little. Tears were forming in his eyes and it hurt me to see my friend in pain.

"Brendan has your dad ever attacked you?" I asked flatly.

"What are you talking about?" he nearly yelled.

"Just answer the question. Has he ever attacked you?" I repeated, with force this time.

"No. No, he's never touched me."

I looked Victor in the eyes and I saw that he was dying to hurt me. I could almost see the anger seeping from him.

"I'm not going to kill you now," I said in a harsh whisper, "but if anything ever happens to Brendan or if you come anywhere near me or anyone I know I won't be so merciful."

Edward came to my side as I lifted my grasp from Victor's neck. We walked slowly through the destroyed room and I gave a sorrowful glance at Brendan who didn't know whether to run to me or his father. Brendan didn't know what was going on and I wasn't going to be the one to stick around and tell him. He would find out from his father and depending on what exactly Victor said he might not want to talk to me ever again.

"Bye Brendan," I whispered and then ran out of the room and down to my car with Edward close behind me.

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**There you have it! Edward is back now so you guys can stop asking me about it. Ha-ha, JK, ask me whatever you want. **

**Once again thank you to tall my awesome reviewers Bleached Kitty, Spider-Hand, Hanzt21, DaniLUVyou, eclipsedbrunette, Kenai52503, oceanluvr, MoonstruckManda, lehualani7, Yana5, Starlit Tiger, omg444888, L'amante di Destino and Alice as well as everyone who read, favorited or alerted.**

**Just a little FYI to my anonymous reviewer who wanted to know if this was going to be a Bella/Edward story or a Bella/Brendan story… um do you go to movies and ask the people around you how it's going to end? I didn't think so. I could tell you in about 3 sentences what happens in the end but what would you get out of that? The answer is nothing. So if you want to find out whom (if anyone) Bella ends up with you just have to keep reading. Sorry :) **


	18. Poker face

**Sorry about the wait. My roommate that lived with me last year came down from Washington to visit and I had to drive her all over So Cal for a week and a half, which kept me busy. Yay for sitting in LA traffic...not! Also my MS word expired so I had to go out and buy one. Don't worry though the next chapters will not take nearly as long. I promise the next one will be up within 24 hours unless some major catastrophe happens.**

**Playlist: Pokerface by Lady Gaga. Wild Horses by Bush(it's also by the Rolling Stones but I listen to this version more) **

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I'm sitting in my car, in Seattle, where I just fought my best friend's father who happens to also be the only other vampire like me, with Edward Cullen…the vampire that shattered my heart. _Today is just wonderful!_

"Really, can you stop staring now? I'm fine."

He smiled a perfect apologetic smile. "Sorry, it's just a habit from your more human years."

"Great let's just bring those up, shall we," I muttered while looking out the window, avoiding his dazzling eyes.

He sighed. "Bella I'm… I… well…"

"You're what Edward? Sorry?" I sneered.

I kept my gaze out the window but I felt him turn towards me. "Well yes, but I'm much more than sorry. Sorry doesn't even begin to make up for anything that I've done."

"Well you have that right," I scoffed but then quickly changed the subject; I didn't want to talk about _that_ and make today even worse. What do you think you were doing in there? You could have gotten yourself killed."

"You could have been killed Bella and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened. He's the only vampire on earth that could kill you if he felt like it."

"Ok you swooped in on your white horse and saved the day. Now you can feel really good about all the bad things you've done and be on your merry little way. Don't you have some _distractions_ to attend to?" I was surprised at how mean I was being. Usually Edward would have me wrapped around his finger…this felt good.

"Bella look at me please," I huffed but obliged. His golden eyes were molten, filled with emotion and pain. "I made the mistake of leaving you once; I'm not going to do that ever again. I lo-"

"You won't ever have to make that choice because I won't ever be put in the position for you to leave me again. How about you do me a favor and tell me what Brendan was thinking in there. Does he know what I am?"

Edward looked out the window solemnly for a while before speaking. "No he doesn't know what you are. He knows you're different, like his father, but not what you are. He was shocked when he saw you fighting Victor but his love for you is…strong. He wasn't too happy that I was there."

"What can you tell me about Victor and what he was thinking? Why did he attack me?"

"I could hear his thoughts when I was running up the stairs. The moment he saw you he was…attracted to you but he also wanted you dead. He liked being the most powerful vampire in existence; you're a threat to him."

"So it wasn't that he was worried about me attacking Brendan?"

"No, I'm afraid not. He cares for his son a great deal; it was Brendan whom he sacrificed himself for. Now that he is a vampire though, he is extremely selfish."

"Does he…?"

"Hunt humans? Yes. Just because he was good enough to save his son doesn't mean he is good all around."

"Yes, I guess it doesn't," I replied.

"Bella, will you tell me about your power?"

I chuckled and lifted my shield. _'I have a mental shield. I had it when I was a human, I just couldn't control it then…which is why you've never been able to hear my thoughts. I can extend my shield and protect other's minds and I can lift my shield, allowing those with powers that affect the mind to use them on me.' _His eyes were wide and I quickly replaced my shield to keep him from hearing the scandalous thoughts I was thinking about him. I wouldn't allow him the pleasure of knowing I still felt the same way for him as I had before he left me.

"Do you know how amazing you are?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Riiiight."

"Well I guess you never have seen yourself clearly."

"That's what everyone tells me." I glanced at the clock, "Well… I have a plane to catch."

"Will you be back from Volterra soon?" he had the expression of a sad puppy.

"What does it matter to you? I'm sure you won't be here when I get back no matter when it is."

"I'll be here. You and I need to talk about what really happened."

My dead heart fluttered a little. _What really happened? Wasn't I there witnessing what really happened? I distinctly remember the whole 'Bella we're leaving and I don't want you to come' thing._ I remembered Alice's words on the beach that day in La Push, _"__Bella, not everything is as it seems. One day you'll learn __that but this isn't the time for that discussion." _I don't know what exactly she meant but I was scared to find out.

"Uh, um…sure," I stuttered. I quickly reminded myself that I needed to seem in control. "That is if you decide to stick around," I said a little more confidently.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away," he whispered.

If I was standing my knees might have become weak. _Stay in control, Bella!_

"Let's not quote songs. It really raises your cheese factor, you're almost at Mike Newton level."

He looked disgusted and I couldn't help but laugh. He chuckled at my hysterics. "Alright I suppose it was a tad cheesy. I guess I'll see you later?" he said as he got out of my car.

I rolled down the window. "Yeah, see you in a few days…maybe," I said before taking off. I saw him laughing and shaking his head in my rear view mirror. _Yeah pal, you weren't expecting that huh?_

I shoved the various screwed up things that happened today in the back of my mind. I would deal with those later, not today. Security didn't take long due to the fact that all I was bringing with me was my wallet, iPod and car keys. What didn't dawn on me until I was already in my first class seat was the fact that Aislinn was going with me. She glided into her seat and went to touch my hand.

"Don't touch me," I snapped, pulling my hand away.

"Bella…" she started but I put my headphones in and turned the volume all the way up on my iPod to drown her out. This was one of those times when I wished I could sleep, my mind needed rest. Apparently Aislinn didn't get the memo that I had a rough day and tore my headphones out of my ears halfway through the flight.

"I can't just sit here while you ignore me Bella," she said in a harsh whisper.

"You had no problem doing that earlier."

"Bella, you honestly think that I would hide something that big from you? Alice said when they went back up to Alaska he showed up and obviously they couldn't hide what they knew about you forever. When they left he stayed there, Alice would get visions of him coming to see you but keeping his distance, then he would change his mind. She and I were trying to figure out what to do, which is why we were being secretive. We didn't want to mention him unless it was necessary because we know how it hurts you."

I studied her face, searching for signs that she was lying but I found none. She smiled timidly.

"So is my apology accepted?"

"Sure," I replied.

"Now can I see you memories?" she asked sheepishly. I held out my hand to her in response. A minute later she came out of her haze.

"Oh my, that was something. When you left Alice saw that Victor would be there but then it kept getting blurry because Edward was changing his mind about what he should do. Poor Brendan, he is probably so confused and worried. What are you going to do about that?"

"If he wants to call me then he will. I'll understand if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore after what happened."

"But it wasn't your fault, his dad attacked you."

"Well Victor could tell him a lie, that I was going to attack him or something and he decided not to give me the chance."

She gasped. "He wouldn't dare!"

"He attacked me on the sole basis that I'm the only other vampire like him, I wouldn't put anything shady past him."

"I think we should take him out," she said with a small growl. I could see that she was imagining ripping him to shreds.

"Not a chance. Someone could get hurt. Edward and I were lucky today that neither of us were injured but that might not be the case next time. I'm not even sure if he has a power."

"We could take him easily!" she objected.

I rolled my eyes. "Even if I knew for a fact that no one would get hurt I couldn't do that to Brendan, that's his father. Evil or not that's his family, you and I know what it's like to lose someone in your family."

"You're right," she sighed. I could tell she was reminiscing about the times when life was simple, before the myths of vampires and werewolves became realities… when her parents, our brothers and Charlie were all alive. _Whoa, time for a change of subject._

"So what do you think Aro wants?" I asked.

"Who knows…"she rolled her eyes, I laughed.

"We should really convince Falyn to come back with us, don't you think?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

She gave me an incredulous stare. "No Bella, I'd absolutely love for my twin sister, the last blood member of my family to stay thousands of miles away with the vilest vampires in existence."

"Ok you can tone down the sarcasm."

She smiled apologetically. "Right, sorry."

Our flight went smoothly all the way to New York as did our connecting flight that took us to Italy. Aislinn and I were extremely excited at the thought of seeing Falyn but very nervous about what exactly the Volturi, Aro in particular, wanted. When we arrived at the airport a tall man with greasy hair, olive skin and flat brown eyes was standing with a sign that said '_Bella & Aislinn'. _

"What is that human with the Volturi?" I asked Aislinn.

"I'm guessing he's here with the car that I got for us," she replied.

I raised an eyebrow. "Bought or rented?"

"Rented...for now," she said as we reached the man. "Mi Chiamo Aislinn (my name is Aislinn)" she spoke as she reached her gloved hand out to the main.

"Ciao, Aislinn. I am Francisco, its a pleasure to meet you," he said with a thick Italian accent before placing a kiss on her hand, obviously trying to be seductive and failing miserably in the process. Aislinn stifled a laugh and I almost gagged at the stench that just hit me, he obviously had very bad BO and took it upon himself to spray a whole bottle of cologne on himself to try and hide the horrid smell.

"And you must be Isabella," he said turning to me.

"Non importa (It doesn't matter)," I replied flatly and staring daggers at him, daring him to touch me.

He shuddered under my cold gaze. "Its very nice to meet you, Isabella. If you will both follow me this way we can get your luggage and I will help you take it to the car."

"That won't be necessary, we've brought no luggage," I spoke quickly, tired of going at his slow human pace. I was surprised that even though Francisco obviously had a severe brain deficiency he caught on to the pick the damn pace message I was screaming in my mind. He led us out of the airport and into the parking lot, I was thankful that it was night and I didn't need to walk in shadows. Halfway across the lot I saw the tell-tale bright red of a Ferrari. _Of course she got a Ferrari. _Now that I looked at Francisco I noticed that to most human tourists he would look attractive and they probably wouldn't smell his BO that he clearly needed prescription deodorant for. I guess two human American women renting an expensive car would probably like it being hand delivered by an attractive Italian man. Too bad he paled, not literally of course, in comparison to Edward.

"Just because you are in a bad mood doesn't mean you should take it out on the poor guy," Aislinn scolded once we were in the car and on our way to Volterra.

"Please, he was so obviously sleazy that I could practically read his thoughts myself. Besides, he smelled horrible and it's not the easiest feat in the world to make a vampire almost pass out."

She couldn't help but giggle.

"And I'm not in a bad mood. I have had a rough day so my bullshit tolerance is set at zero for now."

"Well I can't wait to see what you do to Aro then," she replied with a gleam in her eyes.

"Actually I have a few little things up my sleeve for Aro."

"Spill!" she practically squealed.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to wait until I can tell you and Falyn at the same time."

"Oh but I want to know now..." she protested.

I chuckled. "Well if you would stop driving like a grandma and start driving like a vampire we could have already been there."

The flawless purr of the Ferrari became noticeably louder as Aislinn finally applied more pressure to the gas. We arrived in Volterra half an hour later, the old stone walls brought on a feeling of familiarity but also uneasiness. Every part of my brain marked this place as enemy territory, regardless of the fact that the Volturi never did anything wrong to me. At least not that I knew of.

Aislinn and I walked into the castle like we owned it. Said our hello's to Gianna and made our way to the room we shared when we were here to change into our robes. I never liked wearing them but Aro would get upset if we didn't. We walked down the long hallways and entered the grand room. Aro, Marcus and Caius were sitting in their thrones, once again looking like they had never left that spot.

"Aislinn, Bella!" Falyn yelled and ran over to us, embracing us both in a very tight hug. "I'm so glad you're here I've missed you so much."

"Dearest Bella and Aislinn! We are so happy that you have arrived," Aro said in his annoying always happy tone, while getting up from his throne and gliding over to us. He took my hand and kissed it before smiling at Aislinn. The repulsive feeling I got from Francisco was nothing compared to Aro. The thin papery feel of his skin was disgusting and it was hard for me to not pull my hand away and find some hand sanitizer or bleach."I see your shield is still with you Bella."

I instantly felt pressure on my shield and I recognized it's source effortlessly. "Yes, I still have my shield Aro so you can tell Jane to stop testing it."

Aro turned to glance at Jane who was trying her hardest not to look guilty but I could see the frustration in her eyes.

"Jane dear, let's be on our best behavior." _Wow, some scolding...not._

"Yes master," Jane said with a small pout.

"I don't suppose you've been able to extend your shield out for longer than a few moments yet?" Aro asked me, his voice not hiding the hope that he felt.

"No I'm afraid not," I lied. Aro knew that I could extend my shield because of the jokes that Aislinn, Falyn and I used to play on Jane but I had always told him that it didn't last for more than a few seconds. I knew that if he was aware of what I could do then he would want me to join the guard that much more. "I don't get much time to practice with school and the whole fighting off tons of newborns thing," I added.

"Of course, you have been terribly busy. I was most impressed after learning how you took on all of those newborns as well as what was her name, Victoria? Felix tells me that it was quite impressive."

"Unfortunately that didn't matter much, she was still able to kill my father." My heart ached at the thought of what happened to Charlie.

"Tragic..." Aro said nonchalantly.

I was starting to get annoyed with Aro, I needed an escape. I planted on my best fake happy voice. "Aro do you mind if we just visit with Falyn for a while as we recover from our travels?"

"Of course not dearest. You three must have much to catch up on, it's almost feeding time anyway. I know how you don't like to be around for that."

"Thank you," I said before turning and leaving with Falyn and Aislinn right behind me.

"If I wasn't a vampire what Aro said would have made me throw up," I grumbled once we reached the safety of our room. I dug around in my purse for the slight chance that I might have some hand sanitizer in it.

"Yes, I don't know how you put up with him," Aislinn said to Falyn.

"I was about to leave and go to you two until Aro started acting even stranger around me. He's up to something and I've been trying to figure out what exactly that is."

That's when I noticed that Falyn's eyes were no longer red, they were now molten gold pools that mirrored Aislinn's perfectly. "You didn't tell us you went vegetarian!" I gasped.

Falyn lowered her head. "I didn't want to tell you guys in case I wasn't able to stick with it. I didn't want you to be disappointed."

"We could never be disappointed in you Falyn," Aislinn promised with her trademark motherly tone. "Bella and I would have been proud that you even thought of trying it. How is your thirst?"

"It's good. For the first few weeks it was impossible to be around humans but now I can be around them as long as they don't cut themselves when I'm thirsty. In the square one day I passed a little boy that scraped his knee and blood was slowly oozing out of the wound but I had hunted that day and I was able to stand it."

"Wow that's impressive." I admitted. She smiled and Aislinn looked at her proudly. "So what has Aro been doing?"

Falyn explained how Aro was being secretive and was almost obsessed with hearing about how Aislinn and I were doing. He sent groups regularly to do what he called 'checking up' on us. Falyn explained that he was really spying on them but she didn't know what he wanted to find out. He didn't send Felix and Demetri, who were friends with us to spy but he did happen to send them, along with Jane, on that fateful day when Victoria attacked.

"He doesn't speak about you two in front of me, I hear these things from the others. I think he knew that Victoria was going to attack you. He talked about the newborn problem that was in Seattle way before Victoria attacked but didn't do anything about it. If I had known that they were going after you I could have warned you. I didn't think there was a connection at all or that the problem was that big."

I growled at the thought that my father's death could have been avoided. "Ok that's it. I was planning on maybe doing this anyway but now that you've told us all of this we have no choice. Aislinn you're going to read Aro's memories."

"How is she going to do that? Don't you realize that Aro will read her thoughts if she reads his memories? She's forbidden from touching him."

"Yes she's forbidden from touching him but do you know why? Because she would know his secrets and she would have more power than him. He's scared of that, he knows something that he doesn't want us to find out."

"How though?" Falyn whispered.

"I'm going to project my shield, and you will be a decoy."

"Its dangerous," said Falyn with a grin.

"Its perfect," said Aislinn, with an even bigger grin.

Just like that all thoughts of Edward, Victor and Brendan were put on hold. What mattered now was finding out the truth about Aro and what he has been up to.

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**Well I hope you liked it. This chapter wasn't terribly exciting but the next chaps will be. There is much excitement coming with the Volturi as well as Edward. Sorry if you're a fan of Edward coming back and Bella just forgiving him automatically. Yes what he did was supposed to be for the best but the saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions." My Bella doesn't just forgive so easily and she certainly doesn't take a guy back so easily.**

**I'd like to thank all my awesome reviewers L'amante di Destino, RieDonovan, Kaatt, eclipsedbrunette, Slam2k, Yana5, mandee81, Spider-and, MoonstruckManda, Ba ammon, Astrid-Rosslyn-1720-Scotland, omg444888, DaniLUVyou, W||V and Bleached Kitty (Your review wasn't signed but I could tell it was you haha) as well as everyone who read, favorited or alerted. **


	19. Siren Song of unspoken truces

**Playlist: Shameful by Atreyu and Behind closed doors by Rise Against.**

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"Felix please? You have to know something that we don't," I purred, trying my hardest to flirt some information out of Felix. He and Demetri had joined us in our room in the middle of planning what we were going to do about Aro.

"You know that I would tell you if I knew anything," he sighed.

"What about you Demetri?" Aislinn asked. It was common knowledge with most of us that Demetri was infatuated with Aislinn, even though he tried to hide it and she was all but blind to it.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't."

I sighed and laid down on the large (and unnecessary) four-poster mahogany bed that matched Aislinn's and pulled the crimson sheets over my head while I contemplated whether I was really going to risk a huge fight. What if Aro was just weird, well he's always kind of weird but what if he was just being even weirder and not hiding anything. Could I risk the lives of my sisters on a hunch? I sat up and let the satin sheets fall from my face.

"Oh no, what are you thinking about?" Aislinn questioned after seeing the look on my face. She made her way over to my bed, climbed on it and looked deep into my eyes.

"I can't risk it. I can't risk you and Falyn getting hurt. What if this turns out to be nothing?"

"What if it turns out to be everything?" Falyn interjected from across the room.

"You're willing to risk that?" I asked.

"You aren't?"

I stared at her incredulously. _How could she think I would risk them?_"I'm not willing to risk you two. Not a chance."

Aislinn sighed. "Bella I had to stand there in the woods while you took on a bunch of Newborns by yourself. This will be nothing, Aro probably won't even know."

"What if he notices?"

"Falyn will make sure that he doesn't and so will Demetri and Felix, right?"

"Right," Felix, Demetri and Falyn all said in unison.

"Alright but If he finds out we will need to book it out of here. If you find out anything horrible you have to keep your composure Aislinn."

She winked."No promises."

"I'm not even going to bother to roll my eyes at you. We're going to have to make sure that Jane doesn't notice. She watches Aro like a hawk."

"You'll also have to watch Knox," Felix said.

Aislinn and I stared at him like he had spoken a different language. "What's Knox?" I asked.

"Knox is a _friend_ of Aro's. He used to be part of the Volturi but he lives in England or something now."

"Ok but why should we have to watch out for him?"

"Knox can control parts of the mind. Mainly he can just erase memories."

This wasn't good news."Why did we never hear about him before and why is he here now?"

"He does his own thing and shows up whenever. He was here when you were changed but left before you woke up."

Aislinn gasped"You don't think he..."

"He couldn't get into my mind and I'm sure you would have noticed if he got into yours," I said, trying to calm her."I'm sure it isn't a coincidence that he is here like he was then. Maybe it's just a precaution. Like if Aislinn happens to touch Aro he can get rid of what she saw."

"But it doesn't make sense that he would do that before I woke up..."

I smiled. "Yet."

She smiled back. "I suppose it's just one more thing we will find out today."

We made our way down the castle towards the grand room that Aro, Marcus and Caius would undoubtedly be in. I couldn't help but wonder about all the secretive things Aro had seemed to be up to. _What did they mean? _Before we entered the room I concentrated and wrapped my shield around Aislinn, Falyn, Demetri and Felix. _Here goes nothing._

We entered the room and I immediately began taking mental notes of how vampires there were and exactly where they were positioned. Jane, of course was inches to the side of Aro, Marcus and Caius while the rest of the guard, Heidi, Alec, Corin, Chelsea, Renata, Santiago and Afton where positioned around the room randomly. That's when I noticed the gray haired, squirrelly looking vampire with red beady eyes. _So that must be Knox. _

"Oh dear ones! I'm so pleased that you've joined us." I'll let you guess who said that.

"It's nice to see you too, Aro," I replied.

"Bella, Aislinn, Falyn... this is my old friend, Knox," Aro said gesturing his milky hand toward the squirrelly man.

"Hello." Knox spoke with a sinisterly cheerful English Accent.

"It's nice to meet you," my sisters and I said in unintentional unison.

Aro chuckled."Now will you enchant us with some stories from these past couple months, girls?"

"Actually, Aro..." I said. "I'd like to ask you a few things about Victor."

Most of the guard became silent while Caius snickered, Jane stared daggers at me and Aro simply smiled. Aro's calm mask was betrayed by his wide eyes. Marcus of course never shifted his mood even the slightest bit.

"What would you like to know, dear one?"

"I'd like to know why you didn't tell me about him," I said flatly.

"There was simply no need. I didn't want you to go searching for him, he's very dangerous."

I sighed, annoyed."Well I didn't have to go searching for him. I ran into him."

There were numerous gasps. Aislinn began to make her way over towards Aro, pretending to be bored with the story. Aro's eyes got so big he looked like a goldfish, or an anime character. He and Caius shared a look of disbelief. Not disbelief that I encountered Victor, disbelief that I was alive.

"Yes, this isn't a ghost. I'm still here," I sighed again.

"A-and Victor?" Aro whispered.

"Also alive. I was going to kill him but I decided not to. If he would have harmed Edward though things would have been different."

"Edward Cullen?" Aro asked, surprised.

"Yes." I lifted my eyebrows up to Aislinn to remind her that this would be a good time, seeing as everyone was entranced with my story. She lightly pressed a finger on his shoulder and I saw her enter the trance like state she got into when she was experiencing memories. "Edward finally heard that I was changed and came to see me. Then he ended up fighting Victor because I was too stunned at first to fight but then Edward got distracted and Victor lunged at him. I ran into him when he was just inched from Edward's face. I told him that I wasn't going to kill him then but I would if he ever came near me or my family."

"So you consider the Cullens your family now?" Aro said, a little jealousy shone through his words.

"I always have."

"And the Volturi...?"

"Well-"

"You!" Aislinn roared and grabbed Aro by the back of his neck, lifting him up and throwing him into the wall. Instant Chaos ensued. Falyn, Demetri, Felix and I rushed over to protect Aislinn from the members of the guard that were about to strike. I could feel Jane's dagger's, Alec's numbing mist, Chelsea trying to break our ties, Renata's attempts at disorientation and even Knox trying to get inside our brains, all of these powers were pressing against my shield, but it held. Caius was hissing, Marcus still seemed apathetic but slightly interested in what was going on. Jane was growling at us as she helped Aro up.

"Aislinn what did you see?" I asked, trying my best to stay calm.

"He's a liar. He's lied about so much. The boys are alive. Osiris didn't kill them. Demetri brought them back here and Aro sent them away because he thought it would make us want to join. He only didn't kill them because Marcus said not to."

I smiled at the fact that my brothers were alive. It seemed impossible but it had to be true, it just had to. I winked at Marcus, he was cool in my book even if he didn't tell us the boys were alive.

"So that's why Knox was here before. He erased my and Felix's memory," Demetri added.

"Yes and he didn't put Victoria up to attacking you but he knew about it and did nothing to stop it. He thought that if she killed the humans you cared about then you would be more likely to leave Washington and join the guard."

My vision turned red and my hands started shaking. I could feel the low growl crawling up my throat."Aro."

"Now dear ones this is a misunderstanding. We can forget all of this, the fact that you attacked me and everything if you will just stop this right now," Aro said, trying to sound strong but fear was etched into every word he said.

"You have nothing against us now Aro, I know all of your secrets," Aislinn growled, "and your guard is no match for us with all of their special powers thwarted."

This, the Volturi and Aro's charade didn't matter anymore. "Aislinn, there's nothing left for us here, I don't even care enough to take revenge on them, they are clearly no match for us. Do you know where the boys are?"

"Yes."

With that word we slowly backed out of the room and ran out of the castle.

"Our car only has two seats." I reminded Aislinn as we came to a stop next to our bright red Ferrari that was attracting a lot of human attention. The sun was out and we were confined to walking in the shadows.

"My car has four seats. Felix and Demetri can take your car," Falyn said.

"Are you coming with us?" I asked the guys.

"We are going to visit friends for a while but we will be sure to visit you soon," Demetri replied.

The next minute we were off and Falyn was pulling up to us in a black Ferrari 612 Scaglietti. "Honestly you twins and your Ferraris."

"We are in Italy. Besides, this car is a dream," Falyn said as she petted her steering wheel.

"Yes, at least yours doesn't stand out as much as Aislinn's. Let's draw attention to ourselves in the bright red Ferrari. Hey everyone look at the vampires!"

"Hey I wanted to live a little, sue me," Aislinn pouted.

I chucked. "Alright enough. Tell me everything about what happened."

"The boys are in an Orphanage back in Ireland. Even though Osiris didn't think the boys would have powers Aro still wanted them alive, just in case. He also wanted them alive to use as a bargaining tool if he ever needed to."

"That prick," I growled.

"Do you know that he killed Marcus's wife? His own sister, Didyme. It's why Marcus is always so apathetic."

I gasped. "I knew Aro was a vile creature but I never knew he was this bad."

"Do you think we should tell Marcus?" Falyn asked.

"No." They both looked at me in shock. "Aro is horrible, yes and Marcus deserves to know but doing that will only cause more problems. We've heard of the wars that have gone on between covens. Without the Volturi there is no law and that means chaos, many humans and vampires alike would lose their lives. We may want Aro gone for our own reasons but this is for the greater good."

"We could always be the law," Falyn said.

I looked out the window at the beautiful landscape. The rolling hills, the trees and the sky all seemed to be in perfect harmony. "Would you really want to spend your days enforcing rules? Telling people what to do, punishing those that break the rules? I know I don't. To uphold the law we would have to be merciless. I'm different that I was when I was a human but I can't kill people that haven't wronged my family personally."

"I don't think I would like it much either," Aislinn said.

"I would. I've met a lot of vampires since I was changed. Osiris introduced me to many and there was always someone from a far off land visiting Volterra. I know of a lot of vampires that would be good law enforcers and would love to be part of the new royal coven."

I smiled. Falyn would be the kind to do what had to be done. Aislinn and I were deep down much too gentle and compassionate for that."Maybe you should keep in touch with them and let them in on the idea so that if the situation arises when new rulers are needed you will be ready."

"I think that's a good idea." She smiled back at me.

The flight from Italy was 5 hours and we were all restless the whole time. I took the opportunity to call Alice, I hadn't talked to her since I ran away from the Cullen's house.

"I knew you would forgive me," was how she answered.

"Of course. Did you see all that stuff with the Volturi?" I asked.

"Yes, Edward was flipping out when I got the vision. I would have called you but obviously I knew it was going to work out fine."

"Oh so he's really still there?" My heavy stone heart tried to give a hopeful thump.

"Yes, he isn't leaving Bella. Well he almost left to go after you but I told him to stop being an idiot."

"Good call... Alice, what did you mean that day on the beach when you said one day I would find out what really happened? Wasn't I there for what really happened?" This had been dwelling in the back of my mind since my conversation with Edward.

"Not everything is as it seems. That's what I meant. There is more to the story that I'm dying to tell you but that's Edwards story to tell, not mine. Even though I'd like for you to know already, it really is something that he needs to tell you."

"Oh, I see. Well have you seen the mission that I have for you yet or do I get to explain everything to you?"

"I see and I'm glad you trust me with it," she said in a sing-song voice.

"Only you. Oh and Esme too, of course. I can't wait to see what both of you come up with."

"Aren't you forgetting someone?"

Forgetting someone? Oh yeah. "Emmett too. I know he'll pick out the best toys."

I heard an "I'm on it Bells!" coming from Emmett in the background and I laughed.

"Ok Ali I'm sure you know when we'll be back. The house key is under the door mat." It's kind of a stupid hiding place but I figured no one would dare break into my house.

"Don't worry about anything. Everything is going to turn out great, trust me. Love you, have fun," she said before hanging up. I wasn't sure if she was just talking about things with my brothers turning out great or if everything with Edward was included in that premonition.

Falyn and Aislinn were both staring at me wondering what I was talking to Alice about. "I'm having her and Esme decorate the other rooms for the boys and get clothes for them. Emmett is picking out their toys."

Aislinn smiled. "If I was human happy tears would be running down my face."

"I would be bawling," I said.

Falyn stared out the window. "All this time, we thought they were gone. I sat in my room for days sometimes, crying dry streams, blaming myself for not protecting them. All this time they've been sitting in an orphanage thinking we abandoned them. We've missed their birthdays and special holidays that we should have been there to experience with them. They were probably so scared after what happened."

Aislinn sighed. "Falyn it's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault but Osiris and Aro's. They did this..we had no way of knowing. The important thing is that the boys are safe and we are going to be reunited, a family again, the five of us. You'll love the Cullens too. The boys will be surrounded by love and people willing to teach them all that they know."

Falyn chuckled. "You're such a mom."

The sky outside of the airplane began to get cloudy and darken. We were close to having our brothers back.

**_____________________________________________________________________________**

**Aw yay, the boys are alive. How many of you saw that coming? I did! Ha-ha. I told you it wouldn't be so long until the next chapter was up. :) I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be happy but then there will be some more drama after that. Don't worry I'm not going to make the boys die on the plane ride home or anything, they will be fine.**

Once again thank you to all my awesome reviewers: Ba ammon, Spider-Hand, mandee81, Bleached Kitty, TwilightMommyof4girls, Kenai52503, Yana5, MoonstruckManda as well as everyone that favorited and alerted. To all readers new and old, thanks. :)

Next chapter will be up relatively soon. Oh p.s. Sorry about grammar mistakes, I wrote this quickly and only read through it once so I'm guessing there are at least a few mistakes.


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